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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

....or is DH? 5 yo DS with painted toe nails?

77 replies

VirtuousVamp · 06/04/2013 20:29

So there it is. 9 year old DD has painted her finger nails for the holidays. 5 year old DS asked to paint his too. I compromised on his toes as they're not as visible as I knew DH disapproves.

He's just seen DS' toes and has been quite cross about it. I argued he's only 5 and enjoying himself. He thinks as he's only 5 he's impressionable and therefore it's unhealthy for his development

So who's unreasonable? Me or him?? Interested in your DH's opinions too! I think it's harmless but obviously if it's not I'll dissuade him in future!

OP posts:

usualsuspect · 06/04/2013 20:42

Phase

Original poster

VirtuousVamp · 06/04/2013 20:43

I should clarify that it's DS that dresses up not DH!!

I've no idea what he thinks is going to happen to be honest! I wouldn't care either way whether either child is gay, straight whatever as long as they are happy!

OP posts:

intheshed · 06/04/2013 20:43

Oh for gods sake. A lot of DD's friends have younger brothers, they all love dressing up in fairy outfits and painting their nails etc- it's natural for them to want to copy their older sibling. Saying 'you can't do it because you're a boy' is not fair on him.

I say paint his fingernails too- and let him loose on your make up bag

ComeIntoTheGardenMaud · 06/04/2013 20:43

Oh dear.

Painting his toenails is not going to make him effeminate (which I guess is what "unhealthy ... development" alludes to) and, if he already is the sort of gentle boy who likes so-called girlish things, then stigmatising him for it isn't going to help anyone. It's nail varnish. Not life membership of the Julian Clary fan club.

That is the combined wisdom of the Maud household.

ShowOfHands · 06/04/2013 20:43

OP yabu and utterly disgusting. I bet you let pink things touch him too. Have you also been shopping with him?

This country's broken.

TheBigJessie · 06/04/2013 20:43

If it's because he's too young, your husband is reasonable.
If, as I suspect, it is because he's a little boy, your husband is unreasonable.

Being unsexist means allowing boys and girls the same opportunities. Girls get to do science, become doctors, and play football. Boys get to be nurses, childcare workers and paint their nails.

Bunnyjo · 06/04/2013 20:44

Of course YANBU.

DS (22mo) is currently sporting gold toe nails. He wanted to copy DD, who was having her finger and toe nails painted. It was DH who painted them, too

wibblyjelly · 06/04/2013 20:47

DH and I are in agreement that your dh us being unreasonable. DH said that he couldn't give a monkey if our ds wanted to paint his nails

SanityClause · 06/04/2013 20:47

DS (9) is at a boys school. Last year their play was Cinderella (the Roald Dahl version). DS's class were "Disco Divas". He was unsure at first, but in fact they had great fun dressing up in tutus, sparkly leggings, hot pants, and neon coloured accessories.

This year, his class did an assembly about the '90s. DS volunteered to be Ginger Spice, and there was no difficulty finding boys to play the other 4 "Spices".

If he went to a co-ed school, the girls would have played these parts, and the boys would have missed out on a lot of fun.

Tell DH to get a grip; he won't catch The Gay.

ifancyashandy · 06/04/2013 20:48

Your DH is BU. I have a friend; a man, totally straight. He sent me a picture of his 'pedicure' last summer. A rainbow of colours on his toe nails there was! Done by his niece. She did a good job!

And he's an MD of a multi-national.

I'm of the persuasion that one can't catch gay...

Bunnyjo · 06/04/2013 20:48

Oh and his favourite toy is a Disney Princess mirror that says 'Don't you just love being a Princess?' to which DS always replies 'Er, yeah!'

And if he's the same in 20yrs time, so what?! So long as he's happy

MoonlightandRoses · 06/04/2013 20:48

YANBU - and DH's comment was 'umm, does the husband have some issues?' when your opening post was read out.

bonzo77 · 06/04/2013 20:49

Nail varnish will not turn him gay, any more than making him play football will stop him being gay if that's what he is.

notnowbernard · 06/04/2013 20:49

Do you even need to ask?!

Thewhingingdefective · 06/04/2013 20:49

He is BU.

Boys or girls, fingers or toe nails are both fine in this house when it's not school. My DS (nearly three) loves having painted nails.

carlywurly · 06/04/2013 20:51

In town with 5 yo ds today. He stopped to admire the chanel nail polishes (good lad!) and the shop assistant laughed and commented that little boys always make a beeline straight for them.

So, based on that credible scientific evidence entirely normal behaviour from your ds and dh is b u.

Flojobunny · 06/04/2013 20:51

YABU to paint his toenails.
YABU to paint any 5 yo's toenails, boy or girl.

Sianilaa · 06/04/2013 20:54

He is being VVV unreasonable.

devonsmummy · 06/04/2013 20:59

Yanbu
My ds who's 6 has his toenails done if me or his sis have the nail varnish out. He had fingers done too (in natural colours) when he was smaller - at his request.
My DH also has a problem with it - bloody ridiculous !

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 06/04/2013 21:00

DH is being unreasonable - but I think he has a lot of company!

A few years ago now I was minding my friends two for her and she'd told her DD (about 6 at the time) that I'd paint her nails for her and as she was going out she said to me, 'Oh DS will want his done too!!' so when her DS asked if he could have his done too, I'd done them for him (didn't really blip on my radar) - when she came home and saw them her face was priceless and she said 'Oh you painted DS's nails? ' and I said 'Well, you said he'd want them done too... and she said 'Yes, I thought I'd warn you that he'd whinge to have them done the same as DD - but we don't actually paint them . I don't think DH is going to be very happy!'

I just and said 'Oh well, never mind - he'll get over it and DS loves it'

Her DH is lovely, absolutely adorable. SAHD, does everything for the lot of them etc but he's not too keen on their DS in fairy costumes and nail paint etc incase he's teased, not anything to do with 'catching the gay'.

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 06/04/2013 21:05

Oh christ - someone said he could end up being like Johnny Depp - I hadn't thought of that, I can now see the harm it might do and agree with your DH!! Definitely don't paint the poor kids nails!!!!!

Loulybelle · 06/04/2013 21:17

My sister has dressed up my 4 year old nephew, its called having fun and expressing themselves, why cant little boys just be crazy and dance around like looneys, girls can do boys things, why cant boys do girls things.

Original poster

VirtuousVamp · 06/04/2013 21:31

Blimey disappeared to catch up with Dr Who!! Will read all your wisdom and thoughts now.....

OP posts:

BlackeyedSusan · 06/04/2013 21:35

it is normal development.

Original poster

VirtuousVamp · 06/04/2013 21:43

Thanks all! I think we've convinced him! I don't think it's anything to do with turning him gay.

For those who wouldn't let their younger children do it. I've let DD do her nails for summer holiday for lady couple of years. And she asked this holiday to do her hands. She doesn't yet have her ears pierced - which opens a whole new discussion......!

OP posts:

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