AIBU?
to let ds swim by himself?
whethergirl · 06/04/2013 12:44
Ds, just turned 8, went swimming with his friend and friend's dad. I sat in the cafe, waving. Much of the time, the boys would separate and the dad & son would end up together, with ds playing with other kids.
There was a sign saying "children under 8 must be accompanied by an adult" which got me thinking, as I just presumed that you'd have to be older than that.
Anyway, time to leave the pool, with DS in tears, begging me if he can go again tomorrow.
I don't enjoy swimming. I have an enchanged forest down there that needs sorting out, and a spotty bum. I am really concious of my weight at the moment and on top of that, bloated with PMT. And I don't have a swimsuit. Only an attention grabbing pink polka dot bikini (and god knows where that is).
AIBU to take ds there tomorrow and sit out? He is not a particularly strong swimmer (has had a few terms of swimming lessons). He only plays in the shallow pool where there are fountains etc. and doesn't go in the deep end, he is not a daredevil, more cautious than necessary if anything. There are always plenty of lifeguards about there, blowing their whistles at the merest hint of breaking any rule. I would obviously also be watching from the cafe (which has quick access to the pool, should I need to do a pamela anderson). Having said that, I can lose sight of him as all wet kids look much alike.
hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 06/04/2013 12:47
You're staying at the pool while he swims? I would let him swim alone.
I was a pool attendant pre-children and we often had youngsters in the water while mum or dad sat in the cafe dozing/reading/knitting/chatting. Never an issue for the staff.
lisad123everybodydancenow · 06/04/2013 12:49
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SanityClause · 06/04/2013 12:53
Surely if he is 8, he has a reasonable understanding of his own capability, even if he isn't a strong swimmer. And it's the pool, with lifeguards, not the sea, where there may be hidden dangers like undertow etc.
Let him go. You could even ask a friend along, so they can play together, and you can sit in the cafe and read watch.
RedHelenB · 06/04/2013 12:55
50m is the minimum swimming requirement & being over 8 in order to swim alone. If you are not confident he can tread water or cope in the deep end |I would go in with him until he can. I once took dds friend swimming & my heart was in my mouth cos she was nowhere near as able a swimmer as she'd made out to be & I had ds & a man had to grab her when the waves came on foir me!
TidyDancer · 06/04/2013 13:03
Can you sit poolside as opposed to in the cafe? There's no way I would be comfortable being in another room, even if you can see the pool from there and I wouldn't find it acceptable for anyone to take my DCs and do the same. Swimming at 8 without a responsible adult in the pool I would be fine with if the child was a strong swimmer and their responsible adult was in the room. But if either of those things weren't true, I wouldn't allow it.
Btw, no one cares what anyone else looks like at the pool or in the gym. I have said this on here before multiple times, but I was 19 stone or thereabouts when I started going swimming and to the gym and not a single soul ever made a comment.
lisad123everybodydancenow · 06/04/2013 13:11
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hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 06/04/2013 13:15
Lifeguards don't want anyone to drown on their watch, they keep a good eye on every single person in the pool. In my years on poolside adults were far more likely to take risks/miscalculate their abilities than the majority of children ever were.
exoticfruits · 06/04/2013 13:19
In all my years of swimming, in all types of pools, crowded and uncrowded I have never seen a child fall in the deep end if just walking around the edge! Lifeguards are trained!
If OP is in the pool she can't be glued to an 8yr old. I used to take mine with friends and his baby brother-I hadn't a clue where he was-I couldn't expect an 8yr old to stick close by a 6 month old the entire session.
BrandiBroke · 06/04/2013 13:26
I think it's fine personally. My mum let me and my brother swim on our own when we were about 8 and 10. Granted there were 2 of us, but he quite often left me to splash around while he did proper lengths.
It was fine. Mum sat in the viewing area and did watch, but I think she took a book too.
There were also 'fun splash' sessions where lots of inflatables were added to the pool. No adults were allowed to that and kids had to be 8+ and had to swim a width when they first got in to prove they weren't total non swimmers.
I think if he's keen it would be good for him. Maybe point out a marker, such as a set of steps halfway up the pool and tell him he's not allowed past that point and if he does he will have to get out straightaway and will not be allowed to swim alone again.
exoticfruits · 06/04/2013 13:27
I just had a quick look and this is typical.
The age limit varies wherein a young person must be accompanied by a parent or guardian, but a safe range would be between five and eight years and under, depending on the pool's policies, as well as the child's behaviour, swimming ability and comfort level. Non-swimmers should not swim alone, or they should remain in the shallow end and near a lifeguard.
I am still astounded by the statement that it isn't the lifeguard's responsibility to look after your child.......in a public swimming pool that has a policy that he can go in without an adult! The mind boggles......
whethergirl · 06/04/2013 13:29
RedHelenB 50m - a length of the pool right? He couldn't swim a whole length. He only did his stage one, which was swiming a width with an aid.
fwiw - I was never taught to swim, just learnt how to tread water naturally. And when I was a kid, my dad used to drop me off at the pool and pick me up a few hours later!!
HollyBerryBush 
my thoughts exactly! It's enough of a sacrfice for me to go into the manky cubicles to get ds dressed. But if I take his friend then I'll have two boys to look out for? DS didn't actually spend a lot of time with his friend today, he made friends at the pool.
And what, exactly is a klinker?
TidyDancer the cafe is the poolside, it's a werid open plan set up. DS was coming up to me constantly dripping stinky chlorine water into my coffee to get his goggles and what not.
And thanks for the other comment about people not caring what you look like. I will build myself up to it, and would be more confident about doing it in the summer when I am a bit more used to being exposed, and the sun really clears up my spotty skin (arse and back). The thought of doing it tomorrow morning in a polka dot bikink fills me with dread. I think if I was very obviously overweight, I might be okay with it if that makes any sense, but I hide my flab quite well, and feel if I saw anyone I knew in the pool, I would be 'outed'. I know, its all very self indulgent and i need to get over myself. If I see anyone overweight or with other bodily effects in the pool, I always feel quite encouraged by it, and admire their confidence.
But I do feel quite concious about it. Even when I'm more toned and tanned up and looking my best, I can't help but think "we're all strangers and we're all practically naked 
". At one point friend's dad came out of pool to say something to me, and I thought, you're standing there in nothing more than waterproof underpants! I think I might have issues.
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