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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DH will never change?

48 replies

MyPlugInBaby · 05/04/2013 13:21

He is a noisy eater.

I've mentioned it and mentioned it and for the love of god I just want him to close his mouth while he eats

He says again and again that he'll try, but it never gets any better.

i know ithe grand scheme of things its trivial, but to me it's akin to scraping nails down a blackboard and it drives me insane, my 2 year old has better table manners than him!

I'm starting to think that this is never going to change, it's too ingrained in him, AIBU?

OP posts:

DoJo · 05/04/2013 19:46

I don't think it's necessarily a problem with those who are enraged by the sound of someone else eating (can you tell I am amongst your number? ) as there is something desperately unpleasant about someone who cares so little about their impact on others that they can't make the simple effort to close their mouths when they are eating. Fair enough, if you have a cold or there is a physical reason why it is difficult, but the idea that anyone should want to see or hear the contents of your mouth being demolished is frankly ludicrous. It's something I couldn't tolerate in a partner and wouldn't put up with from a friend either tbh. If someone is eating naicely and with their mouth closed then being irritated at the noises might be the listener's problem, but if they aren't then they only have themselves to blame if one day you stand up, throw the contents of your plate at the wall and throttle them to death whilst intoning in a dull monotone 'Eat. With. Your. Fucking. Mouth. Closed!'.

Mumsyblouse · 05/04/2013 19:48

My husband does this, I just say 'fgs, I don't want to hear you eating' and that's enough to stop it for that meal, but unfortunately not enough to break the habit. But yanbu, it is gross!

LindyHemming · 05/04/2013 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chattymummyhere · 05/04/2013 21:57

I had ago at dh for this yesterday!! Bloody awful and with cake! How can cake be so loud??? Lots of certain sounds do this for me eve puppy's suckling or lapping water can make me squirm and leave a room.

I must admit I am a sniffer though I can't help it if I try to blow my nose I end up in agony and have to stop before the job is done, it seriously feels like my head is going to explode and gives me a migraine. Sorry...

Mummyoftheyear · 07/04/2013 06:46

Where do you stand on nose blowing at the table? I find it so fealiksive - the idea of snot coming out while I'm eating - that I'd take a sniffer over a blower at the tad any day! Lol
Rather have neither!

ChairmanWow · 07/04/2013 08:26

Boak at snot rockets. That's a dumpable offence right there.

I am married to a noisy eating, tea-gulping sniffer. Who snores. And does farts so rancid they strip your nasal hair. And it drives me fucking mental. He wolfs his food down like he's in a race, which I find particularly offensive when I've just spent an hour in the kitchen cooking it. He gulps his tea down when it's scalding hot and usually finishes the cup in 4 noisy, irritating gulps. I have managed to train him to eat in a vaguely civilised fashion when we're out but that's as far as I've got.

He is also very lovely and a brilliant dad. Sometimes I wish he wasn't so I could LTB and find someone who doesn't have the manners of an ape.

M0naLisa · 07/04/2013 08:29

This is a bug bare of mine. I find myself telling my 5 & 6 yr old off for it.

M0naLisa · 07/04/2013 08:30

And I tell you what I can't stand!!!

People chewing gum like their a teenager. You know mouth open and all you can see if gum and tongue!!!

FFS just close your mouth.

Someone was doing it at the checkout in front of me the other day!!!!

M0naLisa · 07/04/2013 08:30

Children screaming - high pitched murdering scream. I could commit murder when a child does this.

AmberNectarine · 07/04/2013 08:34

Oh god, mine is ok when eating, but he does this clearing his throat noise that will be a major factor in any future divorce. That and how noisily he spits when he brushes his teeth. How does he do it do loudly?

Oh god, have just looked up Misphonia. That is me. The sound of tearing cardboard makes me feel physically sick.

Maggie111 · 07/04/2013 08:38

He will never change - it's far too late now.

My DH went through a ridiculously noisy eating phase - or I went through a phase of being overly sensitive to it. As I ate less I would finish first and have to sit there hearing him chomp... Urgh, I told him I couldn't bear it, it was making me sit and I left him to eat on his own a couple of times - or I sat much further away!

Fortunately that phase didn't last very long and his eating doesn't bother me any more.

carabos · 07/04/2013 08:52

chairmanwow the gulping and farting are related. Apparently what happens when air is swallowed while eating is that it goes into the system but the nitrogen can't be processed and comes out in the nausea-inducing farts.

I looked this up in despair because my DH's farts are so rank that they wake me up. The answer is proper chewing and charcoal tablets.

GirlWiththeLionHeart · 07/04/2013 09:05

My dp does this, he said its because he can't breathe through his nose so has to eat with his mouth open. Can't really argue with that but it pisses me off

TaggieCampbellBlack · 07/04/2013 09:09

I strongly suspect I will kill DH for his eating.

It actually really upsets me. I get all rising panic inside and have to leave the room.

NuhichNuhaymuh · 07/04/2013 09:14

My DH, sounds like a horse eating oats when he eats crisps, he takes AGES to eat a packet too.

ChairmanWow · 07/04/2013 09:39

carabos thank you. I know what you mean about the farts waking you up. It's like someone has dumped a landfill in the bed sometimes, the fumes are so bad. I've tried on the gulping front to no avail. Charcoal tablets here we come. I hope they're rank too.

Original poster

MyPlugInBaby · 08/04/2013 08:40

Misophonia - that suggests it might be my problem rather than his but yes that does sound right.

Seems it isn't just my DH then. Oh well I don't feel so guilty for nagging now.

Don't get me started on farting though, he has IBS so I'm understanding of that, but don't see why he has to push one out loudly and then ahhhhhh in satisfaction?!

OP posts:

E320 · 08/04/2013 10:41

What is that old adage? Women marry men in the hope that they will change, men marry women in the hope that they will stay the same.

mrsjay · 08/04/2013 10:44

my DH is a coffee slurper I have daydreams about poking him the eye with a hot spoon
Yanbu I am very food noise phobic I saw a woman on tv who was so bad with eating noises she had to put in earphone and listen to her music to feed her baby I so get that i cringe . My step dad is the worst I hate being near him when he eats or drinks

Pandemoniaa · 08/04/2013 11:46

I'm not at all food noise phobic. But I can't stand eating at the same table as people who trough their food down like pigs. It's just plain bad manners.

DP is a very well mannered eater as it happens but it takes him forever to eat a sodding meal. Which I find just as irritating as someone who bolts their food. DP's inability to eat a meal in less time than it takes to raise a family is made all the worse when we're in company because once he gets into a conversation at the table, all hope is lost. I strongly suspect his parents insisted on every bite being chewed into sub-atomic sized particles. But why?

Bimbledorf · 08/04/2013 12:01

Both my husband and I suffer with this and constantly kick each other under the table at the disgusting sounds coming from respective pil for example. It helps but also makes me laugh inappropriately! I heard my dd chastening ds for eating Cheerios loudly in her ear the other day, I could hear the blood boiling rage in her voice when she said it. Poor kid it's quite an affliction!

quesadilla · 08/04/2013 12:06

I absolutely hate this. I used to work on the other side of a desk from someone who ate with her mouth open and I had to discreetly engineer a desk move. I literally couldn't keep calm enough to do any work. Noisy eaters, can I ask: why is it so difficult for someone to just keep their mouth closed when they eat? Can't you just keep repeating in your head "close your mouth, close your mouth." It is probably the most revolting habit ever, with the possible exception of public farting or hawking up phlegm. What about it is so difficult to grasp?

freddiefrog · 08/04/2013 12:11

DH does it with crisps. He's ok with everything else, but the way he eats crisps makes me rage

Rustle rustle CRUNCH CRUNCH rustle rustle CRUNCH CRUNCH ...

Aarrrggghhhh

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