AIBU to have two birthday parties for toddler (one for my 'odd relatives' and one for nursery friends)??

[2013amiunfair]

I wont go into details but my family and DHs family do not get on very well (they just clash they have different ways of life), I have made some friends from DDs nursery (she is 3) and she has been to a couple of their parties. It is her birthday coming up, the thought of the two sets of relatives plus the nursery friends fill me with dread, it feels like it would be a room of people who do not get on. Is it normal to have relatives over for dinner or something and then a little party for her nursery friends? I also have a nearly one year old, would this be a strange set up for a first birthday party too? It is really starting to stress me out as I cannot imagine my poor friends having to sit around with my strange relatives (that sounds harsh but you do not know them, think chain smoking, swearing, drinking, smoking weed at their own childs party!!)

For the one year old, two cakes?

We had grandparents round on the actual birthday, friends at the weekend, because that made most sense for us and gave us time to spend with different groups of people. Worry and stress did not enter into it. Never mind guessing what other people might think about you do, just do it, tell them whats happening and try to enjoy the company of each set of guests as much a you can.

I don't plan on having birthday parties until they're demanded. Too much like hard work.

Hope all goes well 2013! X

We don't have relatives round for birthdays at all. To me, it would seem weird inviting adults to a childs birthday party - obv some peoples families help out at a party, but thats different to being invited iyswim