To think ultra fashionable people come across as insecure?

[PancakeFace]

I do like quality clothes in good fabrics and take pride in my appearance to a certain extent, but as I get older (I'm now 33) I am more comfortable dressing down... I'm not sure if this is because we don't have much money, but as I get older I'm starting to see fashion as a bit lame tbh, and people my own age who follow it or who are obsessed with looking cool as pretentious... AIBU?

I always dress well but I wouldn't consider myself fashionable...what do you mean by that anyway? I have an individual style (I like to channel looks...the 40s, 50s, 60s etc). Clothes and accessories amuse me and it doesn't hurt anyone else.

If you want to dress up..or not...it is your choice. Nothing to do with being insecure. I am a confident person. I just like to look different and good!

Some women I know comment on my outfits, saying stuff like you make me feel plain and under dressed..etc etc.. Err I dress for myself!

And I am 51!

I have a real problem with anyone who judges someone else 'insecure' without having heard it direct from that person.

YABU. It doesn't mean they're insecure, just have different interests to you!

Depends what you mean by "fashionable." I think people who invest a great deal of time and money in this season's whatever are a bit sad at any age tbh. Just so blatantly about being a victim of marketing and being a bit of a sheep having to rely on the opinion of some overpaid tosser who works for a fashion house. But I think dressing in good quality stuff and taking pride in your appearance in a way that is right for you is a sign of strength and self-respect.

Are you talking about personal grooming and dressing well or fashion, because it sounds like you have thrown in the towel as far as looking good is concerned

It depends on what you are talking about really. People who change themselves and their clothes constantly to keep up with changing fashions perhaps, people who enjoy dresses and heels, or just paying attention to their appearance and clothes, definitely not.

There's nothing insecure about looking after yourself. There's a lot to be said however for people who dismisses anyone who doesn't wear jeans and a t shirt 7 days a week as insecure.

Maybe you are projecting your own feelings of insecurity onto these people. Would you like deep down to be a bit more stylish yourself?

Agree with quesadilla. There's a distinct difference between fashion and style. True style never dates, you wear the stuff because you think it suits you, you like it and consequently it makes you feel (and look) confident. Which is the best accessory ever!

Being fashionable and only wearing things because they're "in" just makes you look like a bit of a sheep with no imagination.

You can be stylish and not be in the least bit fashionable, is essentially my point.

I agree with you to some extent. I don't think people look especially "better" when they're dressing more fashionably, wearing makeup and so on. They just look like people with makeup and more uncomfortable clothes and shoes Most people generally look OK as they are and there's no need for extra expenditure of time and money. If they actually enjoy spending their time and money on appearances that's up to them, but I'm more interested in whether they're nice people or not

IMHO the default amount of makeup and fashion-sense should be zero, with people being good enough just the way they are. If you're not interested in fashion/makeup/appearances then it means you value natural, normal looks. It shouldn't attract loaded remarks along the lines of "not bothering to make an effort" or "giving up".