Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

DH leaving the car running

47 replies

Goldmandra · 04/04/2013 00:39

DH has always had a thing about starting cars before he needs to drive off. He'll do it if he is worried the car might not start, if he's in the car but one of us isn't yet, if the car is iced over, etc.

We had words on many occasions about him leaving the car running to defrost and coming back into the house. He thinks that problem is now solved because his diesel company car now has a keyless ignition so he can lock it still running and walk away.

This morning he was leaving at 6.30 in his smelly petrol 'classic' car to go away with work for 2 days. He was worried it wouldn't start so went out before he was ready to go to check. Don't ask my why. It makes no sense as his company car was sitting there ready to be used if it didn't. He then left it running and came back in to finish his coffee, gel his hair etc.

By the time he came to say goodbye I was lying in bed seething and told him to just go and get the car moved quickly so he left in a huff.

We live in a link detached house and he parks in front of the garage so fairly close to the NDNs. Their bedrooms are at the front of the house and, for all I know, they may sleep with the bedroom window slightly open. I happen to know that a neighbour across the road definitely does.

AIBU to think he's being inconsiderate to our neighbours, if not to us when he fills the vicinity with diesel or very smelly petrol fumes, to say nothing of the noise, when most people are still in bed?

Or is this a normal thing to do and I am being over sensitive?

Not sure I should even be asking this because if it turns out IANBU I will be even crosser with him next time he does it.

OP posts:

PurpleStorm · 04/04/2013 06:58

YANBU.

It's completely unnecessary behaviour.

And as a PP says, if someone were to steal the car while your DH had left it alone on the drive with the engine running, you won't be insured for the theft.

Piffpaffpoff · 04/04/2013 07:05

YADNBU. We used to have a neighbour who would sit and leave their car running for about an hour on a Sunday evening, right beside our living room window to charge the battery. Pissed us off no end, so be in no doubt that your neighbours will probably b v pissed off with your DH for doing this.

lonahjomu · 04/04/2013 07:23

My husband does this in the winter, It warms the car up for the children. I've not got a problem with it, but it doesn't effect anyone else.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 04/04/2013 07:28

YANBU.

BlueberryHill · 04/04/2013 07:30

I only do it when it has been snowing / frosty to help me defrost them but I don't leave it running and it isn't near anyone's bedroom windows.

Does he rev it as well? I used to have a neighbour who did this, really early in the morning in a shit heap so it was loud, really annoying and inconsiderate.

YY to not being covered by insurance if someone steals it at that time. The keys are in it, you aren't near the car and someone can get in and drive it off. Oh, even if he locks it, someone can open a car door in seconds and drive off. Have a look on youtube, I'm sure there will be loads of people demonstrating how easy it is.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 04/04/2013 07:39

YANBU!

What a plonker. That car is going to go walkies one day.

LindyHemming · 04/04/2013 07:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CreatureRetorts · 04/04/2013 08:32

Yes DH has said to me it's better to get in and drive to warm a car up. If it's very cold, we use blankets for the dc at the start of the journey and chuck them off as soon as car is warmer.

dontwanttobefatandforty · 04/04/2013 08:37

I do this in the winter, why is it such odd behaviour? It clears the screen (saves wiping it and leaving marks all over it)

marquesas · 04/04/2013 08:44

If you live in the middle of nowhere, have money to (literally) burn and don't care about the environment then go ahead and engage in this kind of selfish behaviour, I'm glad I don't live next door to your DH - he sounds very inconsiderate but at least his hair won't flop during the microsecond it takes for the engine to start

Snazzynewyear · 04/04/2013 08:50

Friend of my parents did this, car was nicked and insurance invalid. They had to take the hit.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 04/04/2013 08:51

Yanbu
My XH does this. I can't bear it. He is convinced that you need to warm up the engine in diesel vehicles and won't listen to any other opinion. It fills the house with stinky smoke and the noise gets on my nerves. I try to moderate it when he's here so as to reduce neighbour irritation.

alwaysinhiding · 04/04/2013 08:57

Dh does this 2 cars we have had in the past didn't start on cold mornings so it's a fear thing partly. 2 neighbors do it too and I can tell whos leaving by the cars each morning. We are in Scotland it's frequently frosty so it help with defrosting as well I do insist dh stays near the car though

MrsWolowitz · 04/04/2013 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontwanttobefatandforty · 04/04/2013 09:09

those who say not to do it do you have cars that are steam free? My car when its cold is all steamed up on the inside and if I didn't let the blowers on it for a bit I cant drive, even if I wiped it it doesn't clear it enough to drive, so what should I do?

Toasttoppers · 04/04/2013 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

malinois · 04/04/2013 09:13

'Classic' car? Hair gel?

Leave the bastard...

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 04/04/2013 09:19

He does know there's alot of car thieves that like to go 'frosting' doesn't he? Obviously not so much of an issue with the company car. But with the classic (I'm going Audi Quattro btw!). Insurance co's also aren't too keen to pay out for it.

Its blooming annoying being on the receiving end of the noise, buy him one of them heated seats that plug into the cigarette lighters to replace his beaded one for his classic and tell him to pack it in

marquesas · 04/04/2013 09:20

donwant - if you open the windows a bit it should clear the steam.

I'm a bit surprised that OP's DH doesn't have a special windscreen cover for frosty nights which would avoid this problem altogether.

dontwanttobefatandforty · 04/04/2013 09:25

but I still wouldnt be able to drive for a bit, genuine question to those saying how rude it is to have engine running, I dont think some cars have a choice

EndoplasmicReticulum · 04/04/2013 09:25

Our neighbour does this but not a car, he is a midlife crisis man with a big revvy motorbike and he likes to rev for twenty minutes at seven o clock on a Sunday morning. Yes, it is annoying.

Original poster

Goldmandra · 04/04/2013 09:40

Does he wear those weird leather and mesh driving gloves with holes in?

I might have to buy him some for Christmas! Perhaps a pork pie hat too?

The beaded seat covers wouldn't fit on the very uncomfortable boy racer style bucket seats.

Euphemia that's a brilliant list. Did you copy and paste or do you just know all that off the top of your head?

I am now thanking my lucky stars that the motorbike is rusting away at the back of his mate's sheep shed so no Sunday morning revving going on round here

OP posts:

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread