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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 5 year old DS see me naked when coming out of the shower?

63 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 03/04/2013 19:29

My DH said today that he thinks I should no longer walk about naked in front of our children. Please note that the only time they see me naked is when I come out of the shower and when changing at the swimming pool. My sons are 5, 3 and 9 months old so I don't think there's anything wrong with them seeing me naked, in fact it should be seen as totally normal IMO!

The conversation came up when we were having an argument about them watching a 12 movie which DH thinks is fine despite lots of violence in it, so he said that if that's inappropriate then so is me letting them see me naked!!!!! Shock wtf?!

AIBU? what age do you start covering yourself up from your kids esp boys?

OP posts:
beautyfades · 03/04/2013 19:50

UANBU!

mrscog · 03/04/2013 19:50

Just out of interest those of you with DD's do you think you'll be happy being naked in front of them forever? Obviously different with DS's, but my Mum was always very open about nakedness etc. and even now (I'm nearly 30) I'd happily sit and chat to her in the bath or vice versa, it's unlikely to happen but as a concept I'm completely comfortable with it. Just wondering if this is unusual...

WoTmania · 03/04/2013 19:51

YANBU your H IBU - it's fine and normal (and how else are they going to know what a 'normal' female body looks like?).
And five is really very young....

MrsSpagBol · 03/04/2013 19:55

mrscog I am 31 and if I am chatting to my mum she often runs her bath, strips off and gets in without missing a beat.

I used to find it cringeworthy (teenagehood) but I have to say, now I

  • admire her confidence
-admire the fact that she has been so open as it has made me less uptight about my own body and I really do think it's very important for girls to see a normal woman's body not just the photoshopped stuff in magazines.

I totally totally hope I can be confident enough to do the same with my baby girl.

ChasingDogs · 03/04/2013 19:55

I'm nearly 30 and my mum still swans naked betwixt and between the bathroom and spare bedroom when she visits.

I may have to point her in the direction of this child-led parenting stuff so that she gets the general gist. I've been asking her to stop for years and for some reason she just gets really offended.

Well, I say "asking her to stop". I think screaming "MY EYES! MY FUCKING EYES!" gets the point home more efficiently, but she just makes out that I'm being unreasonable Sad

Iwaswatchingthat · 03/04/2013 19:56

My mum was really coy in front of me and it used to make me feel more embarrassed than if she had just been naked. Really awkward. Diff generation maybe.

Smellslikecatspee · 03/04/2013 19:56

So sex = violence.

That would worry me more

ModreB · 03/04/2013 20:00

DS3 is 13yo, and still sits on the bed chatting when I am getting dressed. DS2 is 20yo, and comes into the bathroom when I am in the shower to brush his teeth. It's not an issue. DS2 & 3 are always told "I have nothing on". Response "Oh, what" Confused on their part.

DS1 on the other hand, is 22yo and has run away from any nudity, mine, my DH's, his brothers, since he was about 6yo.

The child will absent decide themselves when they find it not appropriate!

FierceBadIggi · 03/04/2013 20:02

You are right and he is wrong.
Imagine trying to change all those kids at the pool while completely covering up?
Mind you I don't stand around naked long around my 5 year old, as he tends to point and shout hysterically "your bum! I see your bum!" Etc.

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 03/04/2013 20:08

Hope you are now reassured that your H is being a twat!

Lueji · 03/04/2013 20:09

Mine is 8 and I haven't started covering up yet.

I'll stop when he stops entering the bathroom when I'm there. :)
I reckon teenage years. Maybe.

I didn't with my younger brother either.

trinity0097 · 03/04/2013 20:51

My parents never stopped being naked when between bedroom/bathroom and sleep naked too - and I'm 34 now! They cover up when they stay with us so that hubby doesn't have to see them in the buff, and likewise keep their bedroom door closed when we stay with them.

CocktailQueen · 03/04/2013 20:56

My dc are 9 and 5, and both are totally comfortable with nudity, both theirs and mine! I like it :) 5 is far too young to worry about that imo.

Greenkit · 03/04/2013 20:56

My Dh said to me a couple of months ago that I need to cover up when walking around. I might nip to the loo in the night with just my knickers on or come out the bathroom with a towel wrapped round me.

My children are 16 (girl) and 15 (boy) I have never worried, nether have they really.

Maybe its time?

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 03/04/2013 21:02

My ds1 will come in to the bathroom and chat to me when i am in the bath or shower and all five see me naked or with just a towel and its not an issue.

Ds1 was at dd's birth when he was 11 so a bit if nudity is nothing in our house.

Loulybelle · 03/04/2013 21:03

I walk around naked infront of my 5 yr old all the time, she dont care at all, i dont her feeling ashamed of herself in her own home.

ToomuchWaternotWine · 03/04/2013 21:05

Your H is being an arse. Firstly it's good and healthy to be comfortably naked around young kids. Secondly a 12 film is not suitable, and no amount of deflecting onto another subject can lessen that.

maddy68 · 03/04/2013 21:08

Bloody hell mine have always seen me naked (and its bit shears a pretty sight) my youngest is 18 now too. Don't think he he mentally scared by it (although I guess he knows what a 'real' woman looks like lol

allagory · 03/04/2013 21:09

There is a point (probably 7) when I think children want you to cover up. Imagine if it was your parents walking to the shower and you get the picture. They can't even say "pants" without giggling, FFS! How are they going to cope with full frontal nudity?

allagory · 03/04/2013 21:09

That's the kids. My parents are fine with saying pants.

Loulybelle · 03/04/2013 21:12

Also my 28 year old best friend and her 60 yr old mother still talk to each while one of them is in the bath.

My mum probably saw alot of my sister when she was in labour with 3 of her children, and probably sees my little sister naked at 13.

Your husband is just an idiot, nudity and violence is not the same thing.

Mistressmiggins · 03/04/2013 21:13

My view is I'm naked in my bedroom or en suite. Kids know if they don't want to see me naked, don't come in my bedroom. They are 10 and 8 and not bothered at mo.

catgirl1976 · 03/04/2013 21:16

DS is too little for me to have had this issue but I have always assumed if he became uncomfortable that would be the time to stop.

I still see my mum naked (if we go swimming etc). I suppose I would feel less comfortable seeing my dad naked (eye bleach) but I agree hiding bodies away is not healthy and your DH is being U.

complexnumber · 03/04/2013 21:48

"WHO WILL BUY THIS WONDERFUL MORNING?!!!"

LaUNCHES into the ballroom

UnnamedFemaleProtagonist · 03/04/2013 21:55

My dd is 11 and still has no problem with our nudity (only while getting dressed, not parading about). She even showed dh her teeny tiny growing boob that she is exceedingly proud of. This is totally normal to me. Hiding ones body is repressive and dangerous for the future IMO.