Was my partner unreasonable? Or am I just an annoying backseat driver?

[SongoftheSiren]

My partner drove me and a friend out for dinner (so we would be able to have a glass of wine with dinner)

We were driving on a long stretch of road where there are fairly recent (less than a year) speed cameras.

I could see that he was driving at 56 and the limit is 50. So I quickly said slow down because there are speed cameras. He snapped back that yes he knew, I then said the speed is 50 and he again snapped back with - yes I know and that's just the average speed anyway so stop being an annoying backseat driver.

There was an awkward silence. Think my friend felt uncomfortable.

I tend not to ever comment if someone else is driving as it can be annoying, but felt I should say something as I wouldn't want him to get points or a fine.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Nom,

If your in a car with a driver who is that unaware then they should not be driving nor should you be a passenger.

[CurlyKiwiControl]

Yanbu.
If its 50 you drive at fucking 50 arrrrrgh. Not 56. Okay people.
Its not fucking difficult.
If its 40 you drive at fucking 40. Not 44.
Its not fucking difficult.
and so on ... You get the picture.

[fluckered]

i think his OT reaction is due to a woman criticising his driving in front of another woman. its a man thing! dont think ywbu but i also hate back seat drivers. OP do you think he would have said that if you were alone?

[fluckered]

Curly are you honestly telling me you have never driven over the speed limit?

[ParadiseChick]

Ha in years gone by my friends and I would take a photo, using the flash, in the back of taxis to make the drivers think they'd been snapped!!

[CurlyKiwiControl]

fluckered certainly not intentionally. And I certainly would not need someone to nag me to slow down if was speeding and hadn't realised. But like I say its not really that fucking difficult is it to be aware of speed limits - the big signs usually help there, and if you can't control your speed you should not be driving.
And no I don't care for any excuses neither does my dead family memeber.

[CurlyKiwiControl]

Boils my piss.
I suppose all those that speed are good drivers. Oh they would never have an accident would they.
They can stop just like that
They are such good drivers they can defy the law of the land and the law of physics.

[WMittens]

He was a bit rude, but you were a little annoying - it's about 50/50 I'd say.

And anyone saying 56 in a 50 zone is dangerous - are you the bunch of bastards in front of me never going over 50 in 60 zones "because it's dangerous"? The people doing 45 in NSL that continue doing 45 through a small village with blind bends and parked cars on either side. I'd bet my bottom dollar that you think you're safe because you're "under the limit" and completely failing to assess the conditions around you.

You might be shocked by the teachings of police ADIs and Institute of Advanced Motorists mentors.

[WMittens]

CurlyKiwiControl

No one said anything about defying the laws of physics, but I'd like to see you demonstrate your understanding of the laws of physics to see if you actually know what you're talking about. Try pressing the brake pedal to the floor sometime and seeing just how quickly you can come to a stop when you need to. You might learn something about grip and traction, too.

[TheDetective]

I would never go faster than felt safe. Whatever the speed limit. That's the point.

Again. It is a limit, not a target.

Why would you go at 60mph just to appease other drivers if it did not feel safe to do so? I think most people would do that. Unless they were total reckless dickheads.

[SirChenjin]

I would tell my DH the same, and he would point the same thing out to me. Fortunately we are both adult enough and have sufficiently thick skins to withstand this onslaught on our driving prowess. We've even managed to stay together for almost 20 years, despite this.

FFS, there are some VERY sensitive people out there.

[TheDetective]

I had to do an emergency brake once. It caused a crash. Kid ran out on the road. I was doing 30mph in a 30mph. Dick behind was coming up at a lot faster speed. I stopped safely. He did not. He clearly couldn't stop quickly when he needed to.

[SirChenjin]

Anyone who thinks they can stop a car like that is an arse.

Seriously.

Try taking a look at typical stopping distances

[RockingTheBoat]

have sufficiently thick skins to withstand this onslaught on our driving prowess.

That's a really good point actually.

Someone isn't pointing it out to be critical - they are doing it as a favour to you.

And some people would plan revenge against them for that odd.

[CurlyKiwiControl]

I don't need to thanks wmittens

Seen it first hand how long a car needs to stop before ploughing into my 15 year old cousin killing him instantly.

Lived with the consequences long enough.

I agree with you for what its worth about doing 45 on a nsl road and continuing to do 45 through a villiage. I'm aware of speed limits if it was 60 I would drive at 60 - conditions permitting of course.

So less of your sarcasm thanks.

Oh and if the speed limit is 50, you drive at drive at 50. Its not fucking difficult.

You are not above the law, or are you? In that case I bow down to your supieriarity, you must be one of those good drivers I was talking about.

[AdmiralData]

YANBU - he could have listened and slowed down the first time you told him.

[SirChenjin]

Exactly Rocking - because we work as a couple we both help each other avoid fines and points. If we didn't, the family unit would suffer financially or worse if one if one of us lost our licence.

Not that we do speed, because we are not arses.

[TeddyBare]

YANBU he shouldn't have been speeding. Speed limits are set for a reason and they apply to everyone all the time.

[Vicky2011]

Such odd responses to the OP - and I would never claim to be a perfect driver and have bad points in the past. DH and I always warn each other if there is a camera coming up...in fact I think we warn about the camera without even checking the speed. We also warn each other if the speed limit is something that we think isn't "expected" - like an unfamilar bit of road which is dual carriageway but actually a 40, surely that's being helpful It's not in either of our interests for one of us to have points.

[WMittens]

SirChenjin

Can you tell me when those 'typical' stopping distances were set?

Stopping distance from 70mph was tested in 2008 in a Mazda 2 with one person in the car came out at 25m; your link suggests 75m.

Have a look at what else is being developed:

Drive to conditions, meaning at a speed that you can stop within the distance you can see, accounting for surroundings and grip conditions. Not difficult.

[mybelovedmonster]

Ooohh is that why people think it's OK to drive right up yer arse at 70mph?

[SmilingCrocodile]

Someone isn't pointing it out to be critical - they are doing it as a favour to you

That's very true.

It's like wearing a new dress and your DH says "Why are you wearing that dress? It looks ridiculous on you"

Therefore just being critical for the sake for it.

Or wearing a new dress and your DH says "Why are you wearing that dress? It's got a huge rip on the back"

You might already be aware that there is a rip in your dress, but regardless he is going to point it out to you as a favour to you.

[Floggingmolly]

Does he really think he just has to maintain an average speed of 50, in a 50mph zone?

[SmilingCrocodile]

Does he really think he just has to maintain an average speed of 50, in a 50mph zone?

I would lower my speed to 50 if I knew there were speed cameras. Why risk it?

[LorettaMasonPotts]

YANBU. You were being helpful and he shouldn't have been speeding.