To think that Facebook really exposes those people who have narcissistic tendencies?

[CelticPixie]

For the record, I like Facebook. I like how it allows me to keep in touch with friends and relatives who live a long way from me. What I don't like is how certain people ( and it is always the same people) seem to use it as means of feeding their narcissism. I rarely update my status unless I have something to say, and then its usually something light hearted. I know for a fact that no one else would give a shit if I was "Pissed off" or if I'd "just had egg and chips for tea" or if I was going to have a "lovely night out with the girls". I never, ever respond to status' like this because I feel I'd just be reinforcing these people's deluded sense of how important and interesting they are when they are nothing of the sort.

Sometimes I just want to reply saying something of the lines of "who gives a shit?" And the worrying thing is its usually the people I've always liked a lot and got on with in real life saying this stuff?

AIBU to think that they are just narcs?

In fact is that not what we are all doing on MN. Posting mundane shit, reading the mundane shit of others and then commenting in it .

FB is free PR. If you don't use it to promote yourself in a good light, you're missing a trick. But, people who write "my life is perfect" are not portraying themselves in a good light. They are not, however, as bad as the attention seeking missiles/ "my life is shit" brigade who everyone loathes and despises.

I think the perfect status is either a link to a genuinely good article/ website like "parenting with crappy pictures" (not a boring intellectual one you want people to think you read, but really you didn't) or something amusing but lightly self-deprecating.

ONLY mention your kids when they've done something naughty. "So proud of Jocasta who got 100% in her spelling test and then saved a puppy from drowning" is only slightly less nauseating than the "Today I asked Charlie if he wanted some chocolate, and he said "only if it's organic fair trade, mummy". bless".

PS I now have "600 million people like me like this. Are you taking the piss?" going round in my head

Arisbottle expect i dont post pi tures of my frigging cake from costa coffie

Who gives a fuck we all know what cake looks like i dont need to see a picture

Its destroyed so many people i once witnessed a arugument unfold between to dear mates of mine plus some randoms they havent spoke since

Also i have to delete a friends oh for making a rascist slur and the thing that was worse is serval people i know actally joined in with similar comments i think people forget this is a open forum

And dont get me started who thought they were being funny only to be sacked due to pictures posted or comments made about bosses or cliants

But your problem mother hen is your daft friends not FB.

I liked a cake in a cafe photo this morning. I love a cake photo and like to see my friends having fun or relaxing in the holidays .

I think my problem is that I just cannot imagine ever wanting to share with the world that I've just had a cake / bought a fabulous nail varnish / am so proud that my child finished a jigsaw. I mean, who gives a shit about any of this other than me? The rise of social media is great in many ways but it also allows people to become stars in their own dramas and maybe that's not always a good thing when you find yourself in the audience.

Also agree that the people you always knew were arseholes are the ones who turn out to be the worst offenders.

Arisbottle

Well i guess we all have diffrent views i just think its a bit self asborbed i hardly have any oictures of my ds up there i also would never talk about mine and oh relationship on fb

And i just think apart from a few tribes in the amazon we all know what cake from costa looks like

OP:

I agree. Come check out some of my fb friends. Million pictures of themselves, changing their profile different everyday... "Yep, you've changed soo much today ~ wow, another GREAT picture of you!"

I love starring in my own rosé tinted drama.

When my friend posted her cake this morning she was not posting a picture of a cake because I had not seen one before but she was saying, after a hectic term and running round entertaining over the bank holiday she is now relaxing . I like my friend and therefore am pleased for her.

My Facebook is filled with pictures of my children and our pets . I sometimes post if my DH is being especially wonderful.

I am happy to admit that I am dreadfully common and a show off.

What bugs me is this status:
Status writer: Im well pissed off and angry cant believe Whats happened.

Responder: Whats up hun

Status writer: Il pm you now.

I mean Whats the point of posting it on fb if you only want a few people to know. But I am nosey.

You could always comment with this link OP.

I'm struggling to see how any of this affects me.

tethersend

I disagree with you, OP. The most (genuinely) narc person I know has a whole other persona on FB. You wouldn't be able to pick out their true behaviour and attitudes from their FB posts, so much that sometimes I wonder if we were in the same room as each other during the incident they post about.

In fact, one of the key features of NPD is the ability to put on a social veneer which hides the true nature of the person.

YWBU if you suggested that FB reveals how self-absorbed people can be though.

I find it baffling, tbh. I can't even muster the enthusiasm to post about my egg on toast, etc.

I love a cake status.

Surely nothing is as narc as posting a photo of your kids holding a sign which says 'If we get a million likes mummy and daddy will buy us a puppy'. Yuck. I like to imagine them only getting 999,999 likes. 'Sorry darling but mummy did say it has to be a million'

Regarding the "I love my perfect hubby" type of updates. I was friends with someone like that, always saying how wonderful her OH was and how happy they were and then he went and ran off with someone else.

smirk thats a shame

Why would you smirk at someone's husband leaving?

cos I felt like it

You sound lovely, would you like to be my FB friend . I do endless twee updates and post pictures of my pets, chickens , knitting , baking or children .

lets do it

True Narcissists and silly boastful people are at very different places on the continuum.

Narcs live in hell actually, whatever The Great I Am facade they wish to present. They would also like to drag everyone else into hell with them.

Sorry, no insights into Facebook, don't know anything about it!

The most annoying FB friends/relatives are ones who say 'my hubby Jasper is the most handsome amazing man in the world'. And yet Jasper will probably be sat next to wife as she writes the post. Seems insecure to me. However I love pictures of cakes people have made or proper news.

Yes, Formica! I like it when you get
"My hubby is the best ever I love my lil family"
And then a comment a second later
"Aww me and little man love you too babe xxx"

And you just know they are both sat there together and she's gone LOOK AT MY STATUS. Why don't they just tell each other? Oh I know why because no one would witness and "like" it. I'd love someone to write a book about the psychology of Facebook.