To have thought engagement parties were a thing of the past?

[Nirvana1999]

I've just received an invite to an engagement party at the end of April. I didn't realise people still done this? Infact I've never been to one before.

Also attaching a note saying no gifts but if we would like to donate something towards their wedding in July 2014 then it would be gratefully accepted. Not even in begging poem form :O

AIBU to think just fuck off? It will cost me a fortune to attend the actual wedding next year, I'm not getting involved in this "party of the century, that's cost nearly £1000" . That's a direct quote from FB btw...

Asking for money towards wedding = instant fuck off.

Invites to weddings asking for money = instant fuck off.

YANBU

Asking for money is not good.

Maybe you should find a really naff, cheap tea towel and send it to them.
Or better still a dustpan & brush from the Pound shop.

I remember engagement parties 30 / 40 years ago (I didn't have one) and guests would bring small gifts like tea towels for the bride's bottom drawer.

The bride would be grateful too - wages were less and the cost of goods was much higher proportionally.

it is ok to have a celebration but I don't think it should involve presents. The presents will be given at the wedding and everyone invited to the engagement party will probably be invited to the wedding

They are beyond cheeky asking for a contribution towards their wedding. I've no objection to engagement parties but do object to this asking for money. YANBU.

It would be more honest to sell admission tickets.

Is her husband British? In some cultures engagement parties are still strong. I have been to few in dh's family (Greeks) and i think Asians do them aswell. And Turkish.

We had a party when we got engaged about 17 years ago, we've been married nearly 15 years and are still very happy but then we didn't ask for money at either the engagement or the wedding.

Really Holly ? I went to one niece's 18th last year, am going to the next one in a couple of weeks, and ds's friends are already talking about what they are all going to do as they all turn 18 next year.

Now you mention it though, I've not heard of an engagement party for 20 - 25 years.

Proper cheeky.

If they're that cash strapped then surely they'd just put the grands worth of engagement do towards the wedding.

Personally I don't see anything wrong with engagement parties. I had one, and friends do too, but it's always an informal meet up with some drinks, and no presents expected. It's just a nice time to catch up with friends, which for us was drinks in the park on a nice sunny day.

The begging part is rather vile though.

Same as merry, we had an engagement party when we got engaged in 2009. It was brilliant but it was really just a house party. we ordered pizza and asked everyone to bring a bottle and we ended up with 50 people in our one bed flat. Next morning we found some of our glasses and tumblers on various garden walls up our street! Had about a case of wine left over afterwards which was v helpful during the wedding planning process...

I did get a few engagement gifts randomly but they were posted by family members so nothing to do with a party! Asking for money for the wedding is seriously suspect I think.