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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel sad ds doesn't want to go and a bit cross with dh for enabling him.

31 replies

cloudy99 · 30/03/2013 12:14

So dh is quite a homebody. Although we do go out as a family he often likes to stay home. This weekend he has pretty much said he doesn't want to do much. We stayed home all day yesterday.
Today i have said that there is an Easter Egg hunt on and it would be nice to go. DS1 is keep but ds2 doesn't want to go. Dh also doesn't want to go.
So yet again i am out with ds 1 and baby whilst ds2 stays home playing computer games and watching tv. (probably not even in same room as dh so not as if they are getting quality time together.)
This happens at least once a month.
AIBU

OP posts:

Thumbwitch · 30/03/2013 12:17

No YANBU but why do you let him stay home then? Can you not manage 3 of them by yourself?

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 30/03/2013 12:18

Don't bleddy stand for it, come on, woman up and stride in there, point out you are a family and Easter is a time to be spent having fun together.

I have a dd who does this, she plays on time so I get revenge by taking ages when she wants to go somewhere and moans but enjoys herself when we get out and about.

Groovee · 30/03/2013 12:21

How old is he?

HollyBerryBush · 30/03/2013 12:21

I can see why - who wants to be dragged round a muddy field/park/woods/farmyard in this freezing weather?

I'd leave DS2 happily at home, warm.

diddl · 30/03/2013 12:24

Why should OP take all of them if one doesn't want to go & husband doesn't either?

Is once a month really that bad?

If you had said to your husband that you really wanted all of you to go-would he have done it?

If not-that's a problem imo.

If it's about him spending time with his kids-perhaps you need to send them all out & have time alone.

mercibucket · 30/03/2013 12:25

Once a month is not such a big deal. Limiting screen time would also encourage him to go outside. Ds1 is like this but every weekend. He is much more sociable when he takes iron tablets we have noticed.

mercibucket · 30/03/2013 12:25

livinginwonderland · 30/03/2013 12:26

i wouldn't want to go on an easter hunt in this weather either!

sydlexic · 30/03/2013 12:31

You wanted to go and went, they didn't and didn't, can't see the problem. Everyone has different ideas, why should yours be considered the right one?

digerd · 30/03/2013 12:33

Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable. DS2 is obviously like his dad and likes to stay at home doing his own stuff. DS knows his dad is in the house if he needs him and both are content the way things are.

YANBU to wish for a family outing and that all will enjoy it, but obviously 2 wouldn't enjoy it.

Don't worry about it. DH and DS are content doing their thing, and please enjoy the Easter Egg hunt, though the weather is very cold and not sure if appropriate for a baby.

PuppyMonkey · 30/03/2013 12:34

I'm with your dh, egg hunts - shudder.

JenaiMorris · 30/03/2013 12:38

Once a month? Goodness, I really wouldn't worry about this at all.

Original poster

cloudy99 · 30/03/2013 12:44

It's an indoor one otherwise wouldn't have gojust. .Ds is 7 and very stubbon and yes I can manage all 3. I do exactly that every weekday when dh at work and often on weekend when dh is out doing his hobby.
Sad thing is I am sure ds would enjoy it if he came. Especially as missing out on chocolate!

OP posts:

LadyWidmerpool · 30/03/2013 12:47

It's not that cold where I am. Perfect egg hunt weather. In a big coat.

AnyaKnowIt · 30/03/2013 12:56

So dh is happy to leave the house when its for his hobby? But wants to stay at home when its for an family outing?

YANBU

spottyparrot · 30/03/2013 13:00

We will hide Easter eggs around our house or garden depending on the weather. I think it's nice to stay home. I think yab a bit u. I can see why people like to stay home.

Viviennemary · 30/03/2013 13:01

I can understand why some people wouldn't want to go out in this freezing weather. We are all different. I've a friend and her idea of bliss is walking across a muddy field with her dog in the freezing cold and can't understand why I'd rather stay in. Each to their own. But on the other hand YANBU to want to go on a family outing. Could you not plan an outing that everybody would be reasonably happy with. Not easy I know!

QuickLookBusy · 30/03/2013 13:02

YANBU.

The dc are still young and you should be all doing family outings with each other. Fair enough, when they are older some dc would rather do things with friends etc, but at 7 he should be going out and with his family rather than in front of the a computer game all day.

QuickLookBusy · 30/03/2013 13:03

The Op has said the Easter egg hunt is indoors, so it won't be too cold.

cantspel · 30/03/2013 13:03

At 7 he has just broken up from school and wants to have some time to chill at home. Let him be and just take they younger one who wants to freeze in a muddy field.

LittleEdie · 30/03/2013 13:04

Guilt tripping them into going isn't going to make your dreams of a family outing come true though is it?

Original poster

cloudy99 · 30/03/2013 13:12

I didn't guilt trip. I asked ds and he said no. Gave him an opportunity to change mind and just left it at that.
He has had all day yesterday to chill. Will also be chilling tommorrow. Going to definately get out with whole family on monday though.
Still me and ds are enjoying a lovely hot chocolate as stopped at a cafe.

OP posts:

QuickLookBusy · 30/03/2013 13:15

When mine were that age cloudy and didn't want to go somewhere, I'd just jolly them along and really not give them an option to stay. I'd explain that they'd have time for TV etc tomorrow, so today they would be going out.

I always found they enjoyed themselves once they got there, especially if chocolate was involved!

Original poster

cloudy99 · 30/03/2013 13:15

Also baby has to come with me as breastfeeding.

OP posts:

livinginwonderland · 30/03/2013 13:16

well, there's nothing wrong with being lazy occasionally. he didn't want to go so let him be, no big deal. you don't have to do family stuff all the time.

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