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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a little glum about this?

18 replies

ditavonteesed · 29/03/2013 18:46

I know I am really, dh is going out for the day tommorow, 2 trains away with his friends and wives/girlfreinds, the sort of thing we would have done together many years ago, but havent since dd1 was born and she is 9.5yo, anyway a couple of weeks ago when it was mentioned we thought yay I could go as well we have a bit of money since I started work, I phoned every single person I know and I cant get a babysitter. The last time we went out was the begining of december, I miss out, I know how selfish and childish that sounds but the kids have been hyper all day nd I am tired (thats my defense) So AIBU?

OP posts:
Costypop · 29/03/2013 18:49

Yanbu, I bet your DP would much perfer you come along. It sucks sometimes

HollyBerryBush · 29/03/2013 18:55

As much as there always seems a hard core against it - this is where the introduction of sleepovers is a godsend.

You invite 3 other children to stay - reciprocal invitations dictate you get 3 childfree Saturday nights in close succession.

knows these things, taps nose Wink

Original poster
ditavonteesed · 29/03/2013 18:57

I am so looking forward to brownie camp, will be my first 2 consecutive child free days in 9.5 years, oh I am going to be a slob.

OP posts:
ParadiseChick · 29/03/2013 18:59

I pack my two of once a month. I genuinely have no idea how people cope without a break!

Original poster
ditavonteesed · 29/03/2013 19:01

where to? I can hardly send them to a hotel on their own, although I am sure they would love that. My parents have them overnight about once a year, but then it is from tea time until 8.30-9am so hardly a break

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 29/03/2013 19:05

FWIW, we had no family (early GP deaths) and had our first totally childfree night in 17 years a couple of weeks ago. Didn't know what to do with our selves!

I've got two out tonight, was hoping the third was off as well, but he's brought a mate to kip over instead >sigh<

It is difficult to maintain a relationship and your sanity when you really get no down time or 'couple time'.

Original poster
ditavonteesed · 29/03/2013 19:09

its fine really, think I am a bit pre menstral. he goes every year and its fine, I think its just becasue the kids have been a bit full on today and they wont ever let me sleep, dd1 woke me up at 6.30am this morning, then I went for a nap this afternoon and dd1 came in to show me something, then dd2 had a massive tantrum so i gave up.

Holly what did you do?

OP posts:
PurplePidjin · 29/03/2013 19:20

Why does your P get to go while you get stuck home again? Why doesn't he stay home so you can go?

Original poster
ditavonteesed · 29/03/2013 19:26

Its his friend, I would go if it was my friend, we do go out sometimes with friends, just never ever with each other. :)

OP posts:
ohmentalnessisme · 29/03/2013 19:29

Where do you live? If you're anywhere near me I'll gladly have your dcs for the day.

Original poster
ditavonteesed · 29/03/2013 19:44

thank you that is very kind :) but I am just being grumpy.

OP posts:
BumpingFuglies · 29/03/2013 19:53

Poor you Sad

I love the word "glum" though Smile

Can you have a lovely meal/wine/chocolate when the kids go to bed, just for you? Thanks

Original poster
ditavonteesed · 29/03/2013 20:02

glum is one of those perfect words, there is nothing really wrong, I have no problems just a bit gloomy about something, I could so watch trueblood dvds and have wine couldnt I? that would be nice

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 29/03/2013 20:05

What did I do?

Well, we really had our own lives and interests - I have no chance of dragging DH to a museum or church yard (I like history!) anymore than he would be able to drag me to a football match, but we used to use those Sun deal holidays, and everyone relaxes on holiday - you lose the kids onsite for a couple of hours and you have your together time. When the children were very small (say primary aged) all our friends were in the same boat so we had a lot of BBQs at each others houses just as a mean to get out and see other adults.

DH always goes off on a golf holiday with his mates, I have girly weekends, generally slobbing out - we don't do anything exotic.

I'm not naturally that gregarious, where as DH is, I frequently used to pack him off to weddings and the like with me on the grounds of no baby sitter - although I'm shortly going to lose that excuse!

RatPants · 29/03/2013 20:05

Where are you Dita I'd happily give you a night off too. Lack of babysitters sucks.

HollyBerryBush · 29/03/2013 20:08

oops *without me ... etc

Original poster
ditavonteesed · 29/03/2013 20:14

that sounds lovely hollyberry. I think part of my problem is that none of my friends had children, all I ever wanted was children and I wouldnt change it for the world, love my house and geneerally cant be bothered to go anywhere. We went out for dhs birthday in dec and went to a lovely pub with some friends, thats about the level of my excitement. I will sort something soon, my parents will babysit, its just that they are a bit party animal ish and whenever I ask them they already have something booked.

OP posts:
BumpingFuglies · 29/03/2013 20:18

dita I think you hit the nail on the head! Do something nice for you. You'll get there, you have a great attitude.

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