to want to meet my 14yo DD's boyfriend ..............

[whatishappening1976]

before she goes out alone with him for the day?????

He is from her school and is 14 too but I know nothing about him at all. Except for the fact that he has sent her a few messages that contained things I am not happy about. (Like she can ride his rollercoaster, with the rollercoaster being his 'cock')!!!

She is not happy about me taking her to meet him, even though I said I will just say hello and am taking DS to the cinema so have a reason to be in the area where she is meeting him.

So am I being unreasonable to want to meet him??????

*YABU. Sorry.

when is this day out? was it today?

she's only fourteen. meeting the boy to vet him won't make the slightest difference, you couldn't discern his personality or intentions in a few minutes.

but you can set limits about where your daughter can be and when.

monkeyfacegrace - not everyone's dd has grown up at 14 and some parents would rather they weren't that grown up at 14.
And not all 14 year-olds would be able to 'work it out themselves'. Some may get in too deep and not know how to sort things out.
Also, it's illegal to have sex with someone of 14, so your example isn't exactly to be recommended.

Make sure she has a way to "get out" of the date if she feels she needs to..perhapps a draft on her phone she can message to say she neeeds you to call about family emergency. Other than that I have to say, as the mother of a 13yo ds who has just informed me he asked a girl out last week, I feel you are not considering that he may be just as nice as your dd. He, like my ds, may well be more thinking of an old fashioned date rather than an excuse for a sexual encounter. Give her some space, make sure she feels empowered enough to stay true to HER desires, but let her go...it's sad but has to happen!

Yanbu. But, IME, my mother monitored my phone calls, hunted me down when I went out, and always "hung out" with us when I was dating as a teenager. And she would always debrief me at the end of the night about what she liked and didn't like about him and how I'd surely end up pregnant and broken-hearted so I may as well end it.

It sounds like the lines of communication are open between you two? Or was the rollercoaster cock a discovery on your own? (not judging as I grew up in Soviet Russia)

Hello

Monkeyfacegrace! Seriously, so if your kid is 'shagging' at 14 that is fine?

Date seemed to go well, she is still smitten and said that he was a perfect gentleman. 'Roller coaster' discovery was on my own but by complete accident! Logged onto her fb as it said on mine she was chatting and it was way after her bedtime so wanted to check before I punished her!

Am feeling more chilled out about it now, she seems really happy and we have talked lots about respect and what she feels comfortable with. Also stressed that she can talk to me about anything and never to keep things from me even if she is worried I will not be happy, I would always try not to judge and to just support her the best I can!

Fingers crossed now I guess!!

Well done, 1976 i think u did a great job xxx
and im sorry all but it is illegal to have sex under 16 so don't quite know why people thinks its ok!!!