To want one bloody sibling to babysit

[ghoulelocks]

Sister A has her head screwed on so text her to babysit and offered pizza, she's happy to do so.

but then the usual happens...

She goes home and Mum sees it as an opportunity to see grandchildren so she insists on joining, so strict times are now wanted for leaving/ coming home (9pm) (sister A doesn't care and as we're taking 3 month baby with us it can be unpredictable, plan is to go when she sleeps and have her in carrycot). Bloody bet baby will settle 40min before Mum wants to leave! And Mum dictates she drives all, despite my sister being willing and able to travel alone...

Then Mum tells sister B (head not screwed on: in addition to lack of common sense unpredictable MH and previous incidents with dc in danger) who wants to come.

So Mum says it's unfair if they all come without sister C (who is a mess maker of highest order)

ARGH

So now my meal out will involve major fridge raiding, mess/cups etc to tidy and hyper toddler when getting home and strict hours to adhere to. Sister A is reasonable but gets pressured by the rest who inquire where she's off too.

AIBU to cancel meal? They'll be annoyed but I'm fed up. It's all 'it's not fair' from my mum every time you try to have just one round rather than an invasion force, I'll have them all round at times. Add in my Dad and two brothers and my small house and every visit is mayhem.

It's like never growing up when it comes to them! I could have written something in this vein 15-20 years ago only with a location change.

Hire a proper babysitter! They are under no obligation to babysit for you on your terms so you can go out.

that's the whole point...I don't want them to babysit.
Sister A is paid for her time and 25 so I would think old enough to decide....

Hire a babysitter,meet family,go home,pay babysitter. Sorted.

OP I think expat meant that a proper babysitter is not going to demand their own terms etc...

Say no to your mum

Just because she wants something and whines that 'it's not fair' doesn't mean you have to give in

Just say thanks for the offer but dear sis 1 has offered and I think it would be best this time if she babysat alone for a calmer atmosphere, then repeat, repeat and ignore any moaning. Job done.

As May said, say no.

Sooner or later you will have to no may as well do it now.

No, it's too much of a carry on with 3 of you, I am just having DSA. Hang up.

Pay a professional babysitter.

but a professional babysitter will want specific times etc, so not as convenient as sister A

you need to say no thanks

Why don't you just say no, I won't be back by 9. If that's going to be a problem - don't come. I have arranged for X to babysit, not all of you.

It's like you all feel that your mum must be obeyed. That's not the case. You don't have to come back when she says. You can tell her to not come because you won't come back at 9.

Just stop asking your sister, get a proper babysitter. You are as much a part of this prolem as the others if you keep asking sister A knowing what will happen.

Sounds like all of you need to grow up. YA all BU.

Hi

I would tell your mum there are going to be no strict times and u will late. Even better let toddler stay with granny.

Either tell your mum and other sisters 'no, that doesn't work for us, we'll visit you another day'.

you could agree to your mum's daft demands and ignore them - it's surprising how slow service can be at times [evil grin]. Or your sister needs to learn to lie 'oh, just off out to see the girls' (technically not a lie if she's seeing you and dd). I presume at 25 she doesn't have a curfew and does otherwise have a social life so that would give you flexibility without being imposed upon by others.