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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu - if you saw someone fall over would you go and help them up or would you leave them?

85 replies

HepzibahFlurge · 28/03/2013 15:12

I have bone cancer in my entire left leg and have difficulty walking but love taking my dog out onto a field behind my flat. I Usually let her off the lead to run after a ball which she loves but I know that if my dog is off the lead and sees another dog she will run to it to try and play. Therefore if I see another dog I will automatically put mine back on the lead as there is no way I can run after her. She is a well behaved dog on the lead and has been to training classes.

The other day out walking I saw a couple with a puppy off the lead. Straight away I put my dog on the lead. The puppy came running over and started pestering mine. We had been out for a while so I decided to go home. Their dog followed me and still kept pestering after mine. The puppy's owners kept calling her to come to them (which she ignored) but didn't come over and take her away

I went to turn to put my poo bag in the bin as my dog pulled on the lead in the opposite direction. This caught me by surprise and I fell over flat on my face into a pool of mud. This is the first time my dog has ever done this to me

The fall was heavy and winded me and I started to cry. What upset me even more was that still the couple did not put their dog on the lead and worse didn't come over to help me out of the mud and just stood and laughed. I begged for help to get up as I couldn't get up but they ignored me. Luckily I fell on my non -cancer leg as could have done myself serious damage. At this stage I was lying on the ground with my dog sat next to me and their puppy jumping on me.

Luckily my mum had arrived to visit me and ran to the field and helped me up. She got hold of my dog and the other couples and shouted 'Come and get your dog'. Eventually they came over but with no questions about how I was and no offers of help. They took their dog and walked off (Still with it off the lead). I went home and cried as I was shocked by the fall

Both me and my mum were shocked that people would not help a person up when they fell over. I know it was my dog which made me fall so will need to think about where I walk her in future for my safety

Would you help someone up who fell over? or would you leave them and laugh?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 28/03/2013 17:17

I fell over in the snow and really hurt my coccyx. All the drivers queuing at the junction were pissing themselves laughing.

lisad123everybodydancenow · 28/03/2013 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarredfromhavingStella · 28/03/2013 17:19

Of course I would help as that to me is basic kindness, the couple were a pair of twats that were clearly dragged up rather than brought up in the correct manner.
Hope you're ok OP.

diddl · 28/03/2013 17:19

I am shocked & saddened by this.

I understand some people might be wary that it was a trick.

But in this case, having seen it happen-what is wrong with them?

Also, as a dog walker, I feel that I "know" the other dog walkers that I see iyswim.

We were out in the car, just left home & saw an elderly woman who we knew by sight on the floor.

We obviously stopped the car to help-especially as there was no one else around!

whois · 28/03/2013 17:20

OP that's awful! And not normal.

I fell off my bike a few weeks ago and about 5 people came running over to help.

BellaVita · 28/03/2013 17:21

Of course I would help someone.

LynetteScavo · 28/03/2013 17:24

What is wrong with people? Have they watched too much "You've Been Framed"?

If someone falls over you help them. It's human nature...surely? Or am I living in some parallel universe? Confused

limitedperiodonly · 28/03/2013 17:30

No! I can't believe they did that. You poor thing.

I opened this thread because I fell over a couple of months ago and badly bashed my face - blood everywhere. So many people stopped to help. I was so embarrassed and shocked that I refused all help.

I got a taxi and the driver wouldn't take any money. He wanted to take me to hospital but I refused. I wasn't drunk btw - which is what I kept saying over and over again. Smile

I wish you'd met my people instead. Hope you're okay.

MrsKoala · 28/03/2013 17:32

when i first met dh we went to the gym, on the way in i said 'if you fall face first off the treadmill i wont help you as i'll be laughing'. DH looked really hurt and said 'why wouldn't you help?' i said 'because it will be funny' and he said really sadly 'no it wont'. i said 'oh come on, you wouldn't laugh if you saw someone fall over?' and he said 'no, i'd help them'. i felt Blush and realised he was right, i had lived in hard areas of London too long and been quite jaded. i felt awful and totally changed my attitude. i also loved dh even more :)

feeldown · 28/03/2013 17:35

When my friend and I were about 16/17 we were getting the bus home one day. A lady who was known for being "the village alcoholic" stumbled off the bus after us and sort of sank to the ground, just lying there.

I admit that my friend and I were absolutely horrible and just ran across the road, laughing. We were both fully first aid trained, both worked with children, she wanted to be a nurse and I wanted to be a teacher - I cannot fathom why we didn't help. No excuse covers it. I can only think that we were so taken in by prejudices and it felt normal to laugh at her.. We did look back, and a chap was helping her whilst glaring at us.. I told my mum who was very disappointed in us!! I've felt bloody awful about it since about five minutes after it happened, and have never quite forgiven myself!

What I'm trying to say, is that I sort of hope they realise that they should have helped you, and will do in the future - I'm forever offering to help people now, more out of want to do it though than simply guilt.

VerySmallSqueak · 28/03/2013 17:38

I would help.

I was horrified today at some people laughing at an elderly man in a shop because he was confused and not understanding what the shop assistant was saying.
I didn't find it funny,poor man.
Luckily he was unaware - but the strangest bit was that the main culprits looked like they were only 10 years or so off possibly being in his shoes.

The last time I needed help in public with a bad asthma attack when I was alone,I was lucky to find some very kind people looked out for me.

limitedperiodonly · 28/03/2013 17:41

What I meant was that they probably thought I was pissed because it was about 9.30pm. They still tried to help me though.

Thewhingingdefective · 28/03/2013 17:41

They sound utterly charming! Hmm

I think most people would be decent enough to hurry over and help you up, make sure you're okay etc.

I think you we're very unfortunate to encounter such a pair of inconsiderate bastards.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 28/03/2013 17:42

How shite. I can also cite an example of someone not helping - i slipped and fell banged my, head and saw stars, in the park a couple of years ago. Man walked past and ignored me.

It is enough to make y ou lose your faith in humanity.

BUT

I think we find it so appalling because it is ou t of the ordinary. Thenvast vast majority of people would help. I is a shame that even one person would not, but I try to remember the ones who do, and would, not be depressed by the ones who don't.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 28/03/2013 17:43

Bad ipad typing

FryOneFatManic · 28/03/2013 17:46

I'd help someone up. I've done this in the past. And wasn't the only one offering to help.

The couple in the OP are ignorant twats and not typical of people I know around here.

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 28/03/2013 17:48

I would have helped. I stopped my car next to a couple the other day when then man had tripped off the kerb, but they were alright. I did stay in my tent last year in the aftermath of a road accident on the road next to the campsite, but I could hear lots of people shouting and phoning 999 etc and felt that if I joined it wouldn't help, just be getting in the way. All my friends (about a dozen) had left their tents. I'm still not sure if I did the right thing staying out of it. Confused

fieldfare · 28/03/2013 17:52

I'd absolutely always help someone. I would like to think that someone would help me in that kind of predicament too. I'm sorry for your experience OP, what a pair of idiots.

milkwagon · 28/03/2013 17:53

What utter dicks. Honestly, most reasonable members of society would stop and help. Sorry you had to go through this. I've lost count of the amount of times I've stopped to help people. I'm a great believer in karma so they'll get their comeuppance.x

limitedperiodonly · 28/03/2013 17:54

My friend had a fit on the Tube into work and woke up lying down on the platform with vomit on her coat and the doors of the train closing and everyone staring at her. They'd dragged her out and got back on. Confused

She told that story because I was with her when I fainted on the platform at Holborn station and came round to find an off-duty nurse helping me and lots of other people looking to see if I was okay.

Surely, most people are all right, aren't they? Hmm And I wasn't pissed that time either Grin

Glittertwins · 28/03/2013 17:55

I hope karma comes back and bites them hard. I would have helped you without question. I've seen someone fall hard off a bench onto concrete, called the ambulance and waited until it arrived when out with toddling twins. The lady had had an epileptic fit which is why she fell. She really hit her head hard. I saw her later when she was leaving the hospital as I was passing and asked how she was.

saintmerryweather · 28/03/2013 17:56

I never ever want to be the sort of person who could ignore someone who was crying and begging for my help.

thegreylady · 28/03/2013 18:04

How horrible-of course I would have helped.An old man fell off his bike outside a shop we were in recently and we called the ambulance,stayed till it arrived then I pushed his bike home for him and dh stayed with him till a relative came to go to hospital with him. That wasn't being 'good' it was being human I think.

ZZZenEggain · 28/03/2013 18:09

how awful. I am sorry this happened to you. I don't know what those people were thinking. Of course I would have helped you to get up. I would have thought most people would do that. Please don't feel you cannot walk your dog anymore because of this. Do you have your phone with you so you could call for help if you needed it?

limitedperiodonly · 28/03/2013 18:12

Mind you, my friend was mugged in Victoria at 3pm and was crying in the street and everyone ignored her.

Maybe some people have watched too many films like The Silence Of The Lambs where the distressed person is really trying to kidnap them and skin them alive.

Why you'd feel threatened when it's broad daylight or crowded and all you have to do it call over: 'Are you okay?' I don't know.

That doesn't explain your twats OP, who just sound weird, but maybe it explains some other twats.

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