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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DH is being mean regarding my brother's dog?

28 replies

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/03/2013 12:42

My brother has been depressed for a while and has had ill health. He got a dog a few months ago and it's given him a new lease of life.

He LOVES his dog....I'm not a very doggy person but I like them enough and see that to my brother, the dog is his best friend.

Anyway....I sent a text to my bro and my Mum today....inviting them for Easter lunch. Both accepted but my brother has just asked me if he has to leave the dog at home.

We have a Siamese cat and dear brother's dog is still a puppy...plus he's not properly trained yet and is a bit bitey and excitable...AND he's a terrier.

DH says no to my idea of shutting the cat upstairs....he says my bro can live trhough one lunch without his dog.

But I just feel like my brother is feeling delicate at the moment and that little things like bringing his dog, cheer him up.

the cat would be fine upstairs...I might have to put his litter tray on a load of newspaper in the spare bedroom...but he sleeps all bloody day anyway! He'll have his radiator bed...the dog can't open doors! AIBU to keep bothering DH about this?

OP posts:
Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/03/2013 12:43

Oh we also have 2 DDs and the youngest is a bit nervy around the dog....but it's not a bother really and my brother keeps the dog next to him mostly.

OP posts:
DiscoDonkey · 27/03/2013 12:45

If db is local then I think he could leave the dog for an hour or two. Maybe suggest you all take the dog for a walk after lunch.

It's great the dog has had such a positive impact for your db but it won't be healthy for him to become completely inseparable.

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/03/2013 12:47

He's about half an hours drive and will be coming with my Mum in her car so it's not like we can do the walk thing...

OP posts:
Callisto · 27/03/2013 12:49

If it is a puppy then your brother won't be able to leave it for much longer than an hour. And why do you not like that its a terrier? They are no better or worse than any other dog with the correct socialisation and training. All puppies are bitey btw.

I think you're DH is being U and inflexible.

Punkatheart · 27/03/2013 12:50

The doggy has had a great effect on him - which is a wonderful thing. Your DH is being selfish.

DiscoDonkey · 27/03/2013 12:50

I still think a couple of hours without the dog is manageable.

Emilythornesbff · 27/03/2013 12:51

Why does anyone care about the cat so much?
The bigger problem for me would be inviting a "bitey" exciteable dog into your home when you have DDs.
Could this be a good time to get the dog used to a cage?

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/03/2013 12:52

Callisto terriers have a big hunting instinct...DH is convinced the dog will "get the cat" Hmm

I agree Punk that the poor dog will be upset alone....he's not used to it.

OP posts:
Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/03/2013 12:53

Emily he's a pup....they're nippy when they're still being trained but if he gets too excited, he can go outside to cool off a bit...or we can send him out for a run around with my brother.

OP posts:
LastTangoInDevonshire · 27/03/2013 12:54

Why can't the dog stay in the car? Just go out to it every so often. Problem solved, surely?

This is what we have to do with our dog when we go to visit my sister.

SodaStreamy · 27/03/2013 12:55

I'd let the dog come but I'm quite soft.

Will your brother still come if the dog can't or is the dog his security at the moment?

DiscoDonkey · 27/03/2013 12:55

Does the dog have a crate? Could he go in the crate when inside?

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/03/2013 12:55

Soda I don't know...I honestly think he might not..or if he does he'll not be that happy.

OP posts:
Iggly · 27/03/2013 12:57

I wouldn't let a bitey dog near my children.

The excuse that he's a puppy Hmm just excusing the fact that a dog is biting you! Madness.

ENormaSnob · 27/03/2013 12:59

I wouldn't want the dog in my house either tbh.

And our terrier was terrible with cats.

Emilythornesbff · 27/03/2013 13:00

Ok. Then a cage or the car and all take pup for a walk after lunch.
The cat will be fine upstairs I agree.
But I still wouldn't want anything but the most strictly trained dog around my DCs.
My fil has Baskerville hounds dogs and when he takes them to anyone's home they are always in the van or garage or garden. They seem happy with it and he doesn't have to be without the dogs for hours.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 27/03/2013 13:02

I wouldn't want a dog in my house. I am sure your DB can manage for one afternoon or whatever without the dog.

It's all well and good that the dog has given him a new lease of life but he can't live his life around the dog and expect it to go everywhere he goes.

Original poster
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/03/2013 13:07

Dh is a dog person and he's just said "I don't hold with people getting precious about their dogs...it's not good for the dog" and I see his point. DB IS precious about the dog but I understand why....so I was trying to please him.

I've txt him and said no dog....but we will send the bone from the lamb home for him...he's not replied!

OP posts:
thezebrawearspurple · 27/03/2013 13:09

yabu, your daughter is afraid of him(no wonder, he bites, he's not as small and harmless to her as he is to you), your cat will have to be banished to save him from being pounced upon and then he'll probably piss and shit all over the place. I wouldn't let a dog like that into my house.

You're brother can survive one lunch without the dog. It's not all about him. He'll cope.

Emilythornesbff · 27/03/2013 13:11

Ah, you sound lovely though.
Sorry about dh not being well.

Floralnomad · 27/03/2013 13:16

Firstly I agree with your husband and secondly don't send a cooked bone home for the dog . I have a cat hating terrier and there's no way he could be in the same house as a cat .

DiscoDonkey · 27/03/2013 13:16

I totally understand why your db is precious about his dog and it is great they have made a true bond, BUT I don't think long term it will help your brother if he can only feel happy when the dog is with him.

CrazyOldCatLady · 27/03/2013 13:17

My PILs have a terrier and I don't allow it in our house. It's a known biter of children and it chases and terrorises our cats.

DiscoDonkey · 27/03/2013 13:17

Oh yeah unless your db wants shit city in his house don't send home a lamb bone! (Bitter e xperience)

TheCraicDealer · 27/03/2013 13:20

It's great the dog has had such a positive effect, but I would worry if he struggled to leave the dog for an afternoon.

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