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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

HR ringing me at home when I am off sick

69 replies

Spudoolickay · 26/03/2013 10:01

I was off sick yesterday. I followed the procedure and let my manager know.

Unbeknown to me, my manager had taken some leave. I received several phone calls from HR on my home number asking me to ring my 'plus one' (who sits in the same office as me).

I had followed the correct procedure and done everything right so why was my plus one getting involved and why was he getting HR involved? He has my personal mobile and could've just called / texted me himself if he needed to. But surely he should trust that I have sorted things out and informed my manager. I feel very checked up on.

Would I be unreasonable to speak to my 'plus one' about this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Spudoolickay · 26/03/2013 10:42

Yes I probably am blowing it out of proportion.

OP posts:
Tigglette · 26/03/2013 10:42

It sounds like you ignored a message to call your plus one, in fairness that's not your managers incompetence.

Original poster
Spudoolickay · 26/03/2013 10:45

I still don't think that it is right that I am getting calls from HR about one day off sick because my manager did not follow procedure and my plus one felt the need to get involved.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 26/03/2013 10:46

I would get in direct contact with HR and not go through this plus one person. I would say you were calling to clarify the position as there seems to be some misunderstanding about your sick leave.

Viviennemary · 26/03/2013 10:48

Just to add I understand your anxiety. Sometimes the harder we try and be good employees the more we are messed about. I blow things out of proportion myself.

PurpleStorm · 26/03/2013 10:49

On the one hand, your manager really should have told you to call the plus one when she sent the first text, not now. But on the other hand, you did get messages from HR asking you to call your plus one - did you? That's not clear to me.

I would talk to the plus one, explain that you thought that you had followed the correct procedure, and ask him if you should be copying in "I'm off sick" texts to him or other key members of your work team in the future. Just in case this whole situation arises again.

lilackaty · 26/03/2013 10:50

Could it be that your 'plus one' realised that you weren't there (if your manager hadn't passed on the message) so asked HR to check on you - maybe he felt it was more professional than doing it himself?
I guess your manager forgot to pass on the message and is now trying to cover herself by telling you that you should have called your plus one.
I am a bit confused - did you actually call your plus one yesterday when you were asked to? But if it isn't usual policy, then you shouldn't be getting calls from HR, no.

ElvisIsKing · 26/03/2013 10:51

Also be careful taking sick days too close to your due date iirc your employers can force you to start your maternity leave if it's within a certain period

meditrina · 26/03/2013 10:51

You didn't know your manager was off. So no-one at work knows you'd notified an absence. They do notice that you haven't arrived, and because your absence record is fine, they are worried about you.

Plus one asks HR to establish your whereabouts, because if you have gone missing it might be good to get someone looking for you sooner rather than later. Remember the criticism MI6 came in for when they did not even begin to ask questions about their poor murdered staff member's absence for about a week?

PurpleStorm · 26/03/2013 10:51

Also, does your plus one also take on some of your managers responsibilities when your manager is on emergency leave?

If so, that would explain why your plus one felt the need to get involved when you didn't turn up for work and no-one knew where you were (because your manager didn't pass on the message).

Original poster
Spudoolickay · 26/03/2013 10:52

The other thing that is more than meets the eye about this is that I did not call my plus one yesterday but I DID go into work (because I felt so checked up on). The amount of work I actually did was minimal but I was present in the workplace because it felt like they were going to sack me if I didn't show up (yes I told you I blow things out of proportion).

I know I was unreasonable to do this but that is the type of person I am - unreasonable.

OP posts:
annh · 26/03/2013 10:54

Actually you didn't follow procedure because having notified your line manager and being told he/she was on leave did it not occur to you that you needed to notify someone who was actually IN work? Frankly, if one of my colleagues didn't turn up to work and was uncontactable on their phone, I would continue to try to contact them not because I was harassing them but because I would be genuinely concerned that something had happened and they were unable to get to a phone.

I also think your issues with your "plus one" (which is a very bizarre term and not one I have ever heard before in this context) have clouded your judgement and caused you to dig your feet in when a very simple call could have resolved things. It must have been blindingly obvious when you got the calls from HR asking you to call him that no-one had notified him that you were ill. Now you have actually created and issue where one didn't exist before!

PurpleStorm · 26/03/2013 10:55

Did you see your plus one when you went into work?

Lottashakingoinon · 26/03/2013 10:55

Oh dear Spud going into work after you had called in sick was more than unreasonable: it was plain daft. Anyone who is minded to check up on you for suspicious reasons (not saying this was the case, in fact it sounds very much like it wasn't) would take this as proof that you were not really ill to start with!
In your place I would have a friendly chat with the plus one and say how there has been miscommunication all round and try to draw a line under it.

Original poster
Spudoolickay · 26/03/2013 10:56

Maybe I am being too harsh on my plus one - maybe he had a genuine concern for my welfare, but I am very sceptical of this. He does tend to work me like a dog. It is him who sets me my work and he wants me to do more and more and more. My immediate manager is purely there to deal with the admin of managing me - sickness, approving leave, career management etc (none of which she does)

Elvis - for < 1 day sick they can make me start mat leave? That seems crazy but now you mention it I have heard that myself.

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Graceparkhill · 26/03/2013 10:57

I agree with Meditrina- I think they were concerned about you. If your manager was off then presumably his/ her manager ( the plus one person) was extra busy so perhaps asked HR to give you a call to check on your well being.

It sounds a very lax organisation to be honest- not your fault obviously.

In my experience you have to phone in and speak to someone and thus have your absence recorded.

Original poster
Spudoolickay · 26/03/2013 10:58

No I didn't see the plus one when I went into work

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CarpeJugulum · 26/03/2013 10:58

I would send an email to your plus one setting out the situation, and asking him to clarify what should happen.

So "I needed to be off, I advised xxx (manager), who responded that it was fine and that she was off as well". Then say that you assumed that xxx advised him accordingly and until HR tried to contact you, you were not aware of any issues.

Then pose the question of "in the event that I contact xxx and she is off, who should I then report my absence to?" (You could also be slightly passive aggressive and point out that you are rarely off so therefore may not be fully aware of procedure Wink )

olgaga · 26/03/2013 10:58

As Purple points out, no-one knew where you were. Obviously they wanted to know why you were absent!

Why did it take "several calls from HR" to clear this up? Why didn't you just call your "Plus One" straight away? You must have realised your message didn't get through.

annh · 26/03/2013 11:01

Oh dear, why on earth did you not make a phone call to the manager rather than go into work? What did he say when you turned up? You are obviously feeling very stressed at the moment, is this normal or are pregnancy hormones coming into play here and making you see problems where perhaps none exist?

Original poster
Spudoolickay · 26/03/2013 11:01

The first and second call they rang off (I was in bed, didn't get the phone). The third they left a message.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spudoolickay · 26/03/2013 11:02

My plus one was not there when I turned up yesterday and is not here yet today. He is rarely here, and when he is he ignores me except to set me work.

Yes it is a very lax organisation.

OP posts:
minouminou · 26/03/2013 11:04

I think it sounds like they were worried about you, hence ringing off twice to start with.

Tigglette · 26/03/2013 11:04

I know if I'm off unexpectedly my own manager wouldn't have access to my staff files with contact details for my team and so would need HR either to provide that information to her to to make the call to me themselves. Given how careful organisations need to be about information sharing, I'm thinking my HR would be more likely to call directly.

Arrange to have a chat with your plus one, explain there's been a breakdown in communication and move on from there.

Original poster
Spudoolickay · 26/03/2013 11:11

I doubt HR would be worried about me tbh - they don't even know me I'm just a number.

I think I'm more annoyed that my plus one couldn't just ring me directly, he has my mobile number. Why did he need to involve HR at all? It may be a lax organisation but the benefit of this is that generally within teams things can be sorted out without the need to involve external areas (i.e. HR).

It feels like my plus one was trying to bear weight down on me or something.

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