about BIL digging a grave for PIL's terminally ill dog

[PurpleStorm]

PIL's dog has developed kidney failure. It's currently on a variety of medication and painkillers, but the vet has told PIL's that the dog probably won't last much longer.

PIL's are doing their best to make sure dog is comfortable, but are currently undecided about whether to take him to the vet to be put down. Their view on this seems to change from day to day.

Anyway, today, DH was talking to his sister on the phone. Apparently BIL went round to PIL's house today, when PIL's were out, and has dug a grave for the dog in the back garden. It wasn't clear whether BIL had discussed this with PIL's in advance or not.

AIBU to think that this is a bit premature on BIL's part? The dog's still alive, after all.

Well they can use it for a pond if the dog lives so yabu

Sensible to do it now if he can in this cold weather. If the dog dies and the ground is frozen it could be days before you can dig a grave again. Dog will stink by then. It's not as if he's trying to bury the dog alive.

How does he know that PIL aren't going to want the dog cremated?

Very presumptuos

It's practical I think, especially if the dog is medium to large as it is going to be a fairly big job and you don't really want a dead dog hanging around too long.

I hope he checked with your PILs first though, it would be unreasonable if they came home to a surprise grave. It isn't going to hurt the poor old dog's feelings though.

Why not find out if he had discussed it before deciding he is premature. They may have asked him to. I think its very kind of him.

Reminds me of the undertaker asking my bereaved mother whether she would be wanting to go in the hole with my father at some point in the future as it would affect how deep they dug it

I can't imagine that it hadn't been discussed before, you'd have to be pretty strange to just dig a big hole in someone else's garden ,how would you know where to put it ,or as someone else said whether they were having the dog cremated.

It's just when DH was telling me about it, he said he didn't know whether BIL had talked to his parents about it. PIL's haven't discussed what they're going to do with the dog's body after it dies with DH, they've only been talking to him about how the dog is now.

It's a fair point about needing to get PIL's side of the story before knowing whether BIL was behaving prematurely.

I think it's a thoughtful thing to do.
I'ts practical and the dog is dying.
The shock and grief of losing a beloved pet is enough, it's a gesture, maybe a bit clumsy, but a kind thought.

It's very practical, and potentially more sensitive than it seems.

As it is really not a huge amount of fun to say goodbye to your dog and then immediately come home and start digging a large hole in frozen soil.

If someone had done this when my dog was terminally ill earlier this year without asking they would have been using the hole themselves after I had used the shovel on them

What a horrible shock for your poor PIL

Really, MsInga?
I'd be grateful. If anything ever happens to my beloved dog, as Grendelsmum said, the thought of burying him would be too much to bear.

It's a good idea if they want it buried in the garden.

We had our dog cremated (mass creation rather than expensive, individual one) because we didn't want a medium size dog in the garden. Really worried about what would happen if we decided to do some landscaping or moved house.

I would be fuming.

We have only had one pet buried and that's because a neighbour picked him up from the roadside adn buried him before finding us the next day. All the others have been cremated.

When our cat was terminally ill, we happened to have builders with a digger working for us.

I asked them to dig his grave on the croft. He didn't die for another six months.

I was very glad I had his grave ready. It was January, filthy weather and I was so heartbroken that I don't think I could have coped with battling through frozen, stony earth.

I think it's a very practical thing to do, provided the pil's wanted the dog buried in the garden that is.

i cant imagine coming home to a grave for terminally ill dog, i think its an awful thing to do, most people dont bury dogs in there garden do they? everyone i know has there pets cremated and scatter them somewhere special.
I cant understand how anyone can say its a practical thing to do when the dog is still alive for gods sake!

It's a perfectly reasonable thing to do if he discussed it with them first.

It's a perfectly unreasonable thing to do if he didn't discuss it with them first.

So YABU to start this thread when you don't have that one critical piece of information.