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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she doesn't have to do this

6 replies

HerrenaHarridan · 25/03/2013 21:50

My besf friend is graduating this year (woohoo!)

It's been a real slog to get where she is while raising her 10yo dd and I'm side-split tingly proud of her.

Her parents have a very unamicable split and in the 10 years I have known her have never been in the same room together. She wants to have at least one pic done by the photographer who the uni have invited (to have more done costs extra as do print packages for more than one shot) so she is concerned about how to get the family shot she wants and to try and prevent stress, unpleasant surprises etc has included a note in email with dates saying she either wants to shot to be all blood family who turn up or just her and dd.

I have told her that she shouldn't pander to family feuds on a day that is once in a lifetime and all about her (to us) and should just say I want these people in my graduation pic and if any one wants to opt out or not hang it on their wall because so and so is in it tough cookies.

Am I being harsh and unnecessary, should I suggest said warring parties are on the edge so they can snip each other off?(only half joking)

OP posts:
HerrenaHarridan · 25/03/2013 21:51

Besf! Wtf auto correct that's is not a word!

OP posts:
SquinkieBunnies · 25/03/2013 22:13

She needs to be upfront and very serious with both parents, tell them what she wants and stress to them that it's her day and not about them, they will need to suck it up and do what she wants or stay away from the graduation. If they can't do it, it'll just be her and her son. I hope they can be adult enough for her to get one nice picture for her.

EverybodysSootyEyed · 25/03/2013 22:19

My in laws had a terrible split and dh graduation was he first time they had to be civil to each other in over a decade. Turned out fine. Fil even invited mil to the expensive restaurant he had booked for dinner. We had a lovely evening!!

EverybodysSootyEyed · 25/03/2013 22:20

My point being that she shouldn't stress and just tell them in a matter of fact way

HerrenaHarridan · 25/03/2013 22:20

Me too!

You forget that dvorced parents don't just have to deal with sharing their child for the next 16 years, weddings, graduation, grandchildren etc

*big sigh

OP posts:
MsAkimbo · 26/03/2013 01:09

YANBU.

They can suck it up for the big days and go back to hating each other on a regular daily basis thereafter. It's what families do.

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