Nanny spotted reading magazine whilst child at playbarn

[zebedeethezebra]

AIBU to be annoyed at my nanny for reading a wedding magazine whilst 3 year old DS is at a playbarn, or do all nannies think it is reasonable to behave like this??

She was spotted by one of my friends the other week. I don't mind her having a coffee or something whilst she is there, but I expect her to keep an eye on DS, not have her nose buried in a magazine. Particularly on the money we pay her.

[ppeatfruit]

You can generally see the L.O's in the play places if not I'd make effing sure I could.

[ConfusedPixie]

YABU. When at softplay I let my charges run wild. They know I do spot-checks and will play with them in short bursts but for the most part they play alone now. It's great! It's the only time I'm with them that they get to be really independent! We go once every two or three weeks. We'd go more frequently if I didn't get so bored whilst there

Also, this:
"I'm assuming the reason you are annoyed is that as you are a decent employer and abide by the law, you are already providing her with regular breaks and lunch breaks and this incident was not within her break time?"

Let us have our five minutes rest!

[Locketjuice]

YABU

[Notafoodbabyanymore]

I was a nanny years ago, and on the odd occasion I took one of my charges to a soft play, I would sit with a coffee and magazine and enjoy the peace from the normal round of cooking, cleaning and ironing. If I could do all those things whilst supervising my 4 charges at home, why couldn't I supervise one in a safe, enclosed space whilst reading a magazine?

I am now a mum of a 3 year old, and would do exactly the same thing with her. She's old enough to play independently, and come find me if she needs me.

YABU, and your friend is a bitch.

[TrinityRhino]

excuse me op but you are appearing rather a lot unhinged

[SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker]

YABU. That is unless you are willing to come home and give her ten minute coffee breaks and a lunchbreak like any other employed worker. This is how nannies get their breaks.

It is good for your child to have a little independent time in a safe environment where they can easily find the adult who is looking after them.

It is very very good for your child to see adults that are important to them enjoying reading. Not sure how strongly I can emphasise that. It is why some schools have an 'everyone reads in class' period during the day. It isn't because teachers are lazy fuckers who want an extra break, it is so they can model behaviour they want the kids to aspire to. A pre-reader really needs to see ALL the adults in his/her life enjoying reading every day.

It is not good for your child for your nanny to feel like she is being checked up on.

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

Yep, have her shot...........

Seriously, you need to get a grip. What do you want her to do - spend the time staring at your little darling and not take her eyes off at all?? Do you never read a mag whilst looking after your kids?

You don't mind her having a coffee though....what a kind employer you are

[Sparklingbrook]

Poor Nanny.

[NeverKnowinglyUnderstood]

HMMM I think it is very interesting.

Having run a couple of playgroups, I have seen childcarers sit with a magazine and totally ignore all that is going on around them to the detriment of the children they had been supervising... if your nanny was doing that YANBU.
However, there are lots of childcarers who have a cuppa and chat or read a magazine and are totally aware of what was going on in the room Yabu.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I usually discourage MNers from divulging personal information on here OP but can you tell us who you are so that all the nannies on here can avoid you like the plague? It'll save a lot of time next time you are recruiting

Really hope your nanny is a MNer too.

[pinkyponk67]

Soft play centres are an accident waiting to happen, having had 3 kids of my own I have seen countless pre school kids have accidents/get into fights etc when not supervised by their parents. I don't often go to them now except the smaller ones and i wouldn't sit and read a magazine in one when looking after my own child. Even if you could guarantee your kid would be perfectly behaved, you don't know who else is in there with them.

[Goldmandra]

If you trust your nanny you need to allow her to make these small judgements about the level of supervision your child needs.

You need to believe that she has checked out the playbarn in terms of the safety and cleanliness of the equipment as far as is reasonable and is aware of the procedures in place to prevent a child from leaving unaccompanied.

You need to accept that she has talked with your child about how to behave in a playbarn and that she has imparted this information at a developmentally appropriate level for your child because she knows him well enough to do so.

You need to trust her to have made sure he knows where to find her or to call out if he needs her and ensured that she will be able to hear him if he does.

You need to accept that she has made a judgement about how long she can allow him to play between checking on him or making sure she can see him from where she is sitting and to be professional enough to be doing that.

If you trust her to have done all those things you should allow her to do her job and perhaps a have a few minutes which aren't down time because she will still be vigilant to the needs of her charge but could perhaps be a breather in the midst of a busy day.

If you don't trust her to do those things you need to rethink your childcare arrangements.

If she were discovered watching tv while he played alone in the bath or chatting with her mates while he was round the corner playing at the side of a busy road I could understand your friend reporting back to you but this is rather OTT.

[Youcanringmybell]

yup YABU.
Everyone is entitled to a coffee break and as long as the child is safe and happy.

[shewhowines]

good points gold

[FingersCrossedLegsNot]

Do you permit your nanny to go to the toilet? Does she bring your dc with her to the toilet?

[RandallPinkFloyd]

YADNBU, she should be flogged immediately.

Flicking through a magazine that contains only pictures whilst your child plays a few feet away in a room made almost entirely out of foam?

Disgusting behaviour. She'll be going out to the bin next you mark my words.

[Sparklingbrook]

Perhaps tell the Nanny to stay in in future. No fun at the Playbarn for your DS.

[Soupa]

Majabiene, yeah never had one of those. Jobs.

IME soft play is like lord of the flies, I would be watching out for them. Of course it could have been appropriate to the situation and the friend an idiot but it could be that the nanny was inattentive. I used to know some who used these places as some kind of childcare that didn't involve them. The friend could have been being helpful some nannies are shit some incredible. The op should have a good idea of whether hers is ok.

[Floggingmolly]

Would she have been allowed to get into the soft play bit with him even if she wanted to? (and who in their right mind would want to?)

[JuneChurch]

You just can't get the staff these days.

I bet she buys pasta too.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Ha totally unreasonable.

I take it you don't take your kids out much then? All parents, gps, cms, nannies can watch kids and have a bit of a flick through a magazine. OMG I really don't believe some people.

Hang on, wind up, troll perhaps.

[shewhowines]

No, unfortunately probably not. Quite a few helicopter parents have agreed with op

[Megatron]

When I read the heading I actually thought this was a joke thread.

If she was ingrossed in war and peace then I may see your point but flicking through a magazine is hardly the same thing so YABU. Unless of course your DS is normally terribly badly behaved and needs someone watching his every move.

[LadyBeagleEyes]

The thing is, I'm sure she probably was watching him.
You can look through a magazine, particularly a wedding one which are mainly just nice pictures, drink coffee, even talk to others and watch your child at the same time.
It's not rocket science.

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

'Particularly on the money we pay her.'

Stealth boast ahoy