to think that if you phone someone, the onus is then on you to initiate conversation

[FarleyD]

.. and not to do what my BIL does every single time. Conversation goes like this:

Phone rings, I answer:

Me: "Hello"

BIL: "Hello"

Me: "Hello?"

Long awkward pause

BIL: "Hello"

And so on, and on and on. Drives me mad. I have no problem asking what he wants, but that's not the point. All very trivial in the grand scheme of things I know, but he's been my BIL for about twenty years now, and he still doesn't know how to converse properly.

I answer the phone with "hello rebecca speaking" If it's one of my inlaws and they aren't forthcoming I then say "do you want to speak to x?" although they'll often just say "Is x around?"
If they don't want to speak to my husband I say "what can I do for you?"
If every time he phones you have long drawn out going nowhere conversations as you say in your OP then stop the waffly crap and ask him as soon as you know who it is if he wants your husband and if he says no, ask him what he wants.
Yes of course you say hello first but there's no need to prolong the waffly pleasanteries if he obviously isn't into them.

My dad used to have a friend who wouldn't say anything when he answered the phone A couple of times my dad didn't say anything either and they stayed on the phone for ages in absolute silence! I think my dad was always the one to give in as well