To not understand why people are so obsessed with how/ what I feed my baby?!

[PurpleBlossom]

DD is 5 months old and ebf. I'm sick of random relatives telling me what I should be feeding DD and need a rant!

-When she was two days old I was told (by DP's Aunt) that breast milk was not enough and I needed to top-up with formula.

-BIL mocked me wanting to do BLW.

• My Mum is sure that formula before bed will help DD sleep better.

-MIL is insistent that DD needs baby rice and this is why she has stopped sleeping through.

Do people really think that DP and I are so thick that we wouldn't notice if DD was starving?! It's up to us what we feed our baby and when. Her weight is perfectly average and she is thriving, surely this is what matters?

And yes I AM sure that she doesn't need any 'cooled boiled water' GO AWAY!

AIBU to tell the next well meaning relative to stick their advice where the sun don't shine?!

YABU to get so wound up over the advice/thoughts of well meaning people.

Just smile and nod...it's the only thing that'll keep you sane.

It's also marginally better than absolutely no-one giving a shit I suppose.

what she needs is a bit of rum on a dummy, then she'll sleep through.

*runs away

Worra irl I do do the smile and nod thing, I'm not a nut honest

It just gets so wearing to be constantly questioned and made to feel like shit. Intentionally or not.

my sister gave her kids baby rice from 6 weeks old 'to help them sleep' i think it's disgusting to put your needs above your dcs like that but she didn't listen

ds didn't sleep through till around 5 months and now at 16 months can be a pain but hey ho but at no point did we think to give him anything other than milk.

ignore advice that is not healthy or right for you.

That poor baby needs a full Sunday roast and a pint!

Do what Worral said. It's easier in the long run.

say 'ok I'll give it a go' then when you next see them tell them you had to rush the baby to hospital and got a bollocking from the docs and they referred you to SS and they've taken the baby from you, and all because you followed their advice.

Then when they come round hide the baby in a cupboard so they don't rumble you.

I think it's time I went to bed.

You also have to remember that most people who gave birth before around 1995 - ish would have been given completely different feeding advice...and maybe they don't realise how much it's all changed.

I gave my DS1 baby rice at just over 6 weeks old on the advice of my GP and my HV. He was also on 3 baby meals a day by the time he was around 3 months old.

By the time I had DS2 and DS3, it had all changed completely.

Waffly

It's only because your mum and MILs generation were told to wean babies at 4 months or 15lbs.

That was how it was when I had my DC too - I was surprised how the guidelines had changed when my DD had her children.

They think they are being helpful, that's all.

Just tell them HV and GPs have advised you differently - hopefully they won't argue with that!

Yes do what Waffly said!

wafflys advice is brilliant!

Waffly I may do just that.

YABU. Why are you even bothering to engage in discussions with ANYONE apart from your DP about how you are feeding your v. small DD?? No need to discuss or explain any of your decisions with anyone!

YABVVU to tel 'Well meaning relatives' where to 'Stick their advice' though.

They are just Relatives who Mean Well. Think about it. People who love you all, and have your best interests at heart. Not dictators or control freaks. Just relatives offering gentle suggestions and trying to help whilst watching you stressing out about learning how to cope with your PFB lovely new baby.

It's so hard, isn't it? But honestly, you will be grateful in the future when you find out how much these people can help you as your baby grows up.

Chillax - and best of luck! .

YANBU

I've just got back from the in laws after 2 days of similar. It does get you down doesn't it?

Omg i once had a total stranger on a bus tell me that DD (4 months at the time and EBF) was 'thirsty' for water as she was playing with my water bottle (as babies do) so i feel your pain. Trust me it doesn't stop at that. Get prepared for everyone from the guy at the post office to your cleaner to be not only giving advice (she really should have a vest on) to making ridiculous observations (omg she's as tall as a 4 year old!!) to downright interfering (you need to have a baby boy now! Now! NOOOWWW!)
Sometimes i wonder if it's just me who seems to have a tattoo on my head saying 'what do i do with my child!? Please direct me as I may look like a grown woman but in fact am incapable of making life choices'... But it seems i am not alone...

Oh and p.s. in case you didn't get the tone YANBU - obv
It's very condescending but like others have said- just nod and smile and know that there is at least one person here who finds it equally as irritating

Abby the lady working on the self-service till in Sainbury's told me DD should be wearing a hat.

Why do people do this??

Because they mean well.

Throughout history 'elders' have passed on their 'wisdom' to youngers

Even if they didn't friggin ask for it

But you don't have to take anyone's advice ever.

..and when you are a grandparent and the weaning advice has all changed completely you'll be tutting !!

..and do try to remember that these 'no nothings' have successfully raised several children!!!

But no one said they know nothing... Just that that was their children- and these are not.
When i ask for advice from my mother or grandmother, the best they have given is 'she's your baby. What do you feel she needs?'
But they always suggest several options just in case i may not have considered it- only when i ask though...
I think that's the most tactful way to be when talking about other people's children.

YANBU. What abbyfromoz said. It's all very well that they mean well, but if they don't reel it in after you've told them politely "thanks but no thanks" it becomes very wearing indeed. And as for the random hat-adviser types, argh.

And if weaning advice changes in years to come based on further research, I hope I'd be supporting my children to do the best for THEIR children- i.e. what modern science indicates is the best thing to do.

Weaning, sleeping on their back and so on advice doesn't change because it's a kind of fad or fashion like wearing stripes or spots- it's based on the latest medical research! Kids today are better off than they used to be and more healthy because we now know more about this stuff. Three of my aunts didn't reach late childhood because my GCs didn't have the benefit of things we have and know today. Thank goodness my parents appreciate that this kind of knowledge moves on!

No advice but my dm was obsessed that I should be giving my ds cooled boiled water at 4 days old!

With the help and support of mumsnet I ignored her!

That's the tip of the iceberg but people interfere so much when someone has a new baby! It was a big shock to me that people had so much to say about what I should and should not be doing as I wouldn't dream of passing comment or even noticing what someone else was doing!

I used to hate the 'feeding again already?' 'Hungry, again?'. Bracing myself for it this time . Yes I am feeding a lot aren't I?