To detest self-styled Facebook gurus

[PicassosSausage]

Some of the people I know on FB come up with some awful, trite bullshit, which they seem to think is deep, insightful and clever, worthy of entry into the most uplifting quotes of the year. It isn't, morons. And it's usually littered with mistakes and shit grammar.

Examples:

Knowledge is our greatest weapon. Arm yourselves. A book can be be every bit as sharp as a thousand knifes (sic). I look to you, my friends, for signs that you are making positive changes in your lives. Your choice, your destiny.
-????

There are people that come into our lives suddenly, people that come into our lives gradually and then there are those people that have always been there.
-NO SHIT! AND??

Just laying here thinking about life and all the incredible things I want to achieve. And I've made a promise to myself, right here, to do it all. You're dreams reveal the light within you. Go and get them. Believe. Don't settle for second best.
-BUT SETTLE FOR APPALLING GRAMMAR?

And while they are dishing out these pearls of wisdom they are usually make a fuck up of their own lives so why should I listen?

And I also hate people who describe people as. 'My rock' or the ones who post twee pictures of kissing bunnies with 'like if you love being. Mummeeee' beneath. But that's for another day.

totally agree! and 'share if you love you're kidz' or 'A mother's luv is the best'. I could actually scream!!

Hide
Block
Delete
options are endless.

So if you have such little regard for their thoughts or the way they express them, why are you FB friends with them?

Because they are often nice and normal in person

am getting fucked up of these FB AIBUS? firstly you choose to log onto FB, then choose to add or accept friends and even then if you dont like what you see you have the options to do something about it. i dont get it!!

Sigh

I hate Facebook gnus.

I like them. They can be cheerful and beat the hell out of 'sum ppl r such fakerz u no who u r' 'y wat happnd hunni?' 'oh ill mssg u hunni'

^^hahahaha. Yes.

YADNBU I just hide their posts. Your examples did make me chuckle though.

settle for appalling grammar HA!

I like them. They can be cheerful and beat the hell out of 'sum ppl r such fakerz u no who u r' 'y wat happnd hunni?' 'oh ill mssg u hunni'

I want to shoot these people!

I do like the one 'Just laying here thinking...' because you just know they will do fuck all with their lives because they spend all day 'laying about thinking'.

I don't get too many on my wall.

I hate them too

I hover over the defriend button but IRL they are not such overt nobbers as they appear on fb

My favourite was "like if you wish cancer didn't exist"

For real? Who likes cancer? No one. But it's not going to go away because of people clicking on a facebook list

I hate hate the new trend of leaving 'letters' on Facebook pages.

Something like;

Ten Downing Street Page

Dear Mr Cameron

I'm just a ex-solider who lost all his toes, I have a wife and 3 children. I have 3p in savings and a chicken.

Or

I'm a really old and fail person whose worked for a hundred years carrying bricks.

If I was an immigrant then I would get a free house and £50,000 a year on arrival.

371,000 likes.

Disclaimer Obviously not an attack on actual soldiers or old people

Did they pass a law that Facebook is mandatory? Or that reading that shit is?

No? Well, there you go then.

No I agree Tee I now delete anyone who shares bollocks as above.

Was just venting.

If we never complained then Mumsnet would be a ghost town

I have 3p in savings and a chicken

I can't breathe for laughing!!!!!!!

Cancer likes/shares, immigrant crap...FB is full of sheep sadly.

But the 3p and a chicken made me laugh so hard

Meh, the only one that really bothered me was a friend wrote that she didn't want to live in a world where children weren't smacked. I had to read it three times to make sure I had read it correctly.

I have a few American friends who post a lot of bible verses. I have another FB friend who only posts 'funny' photos of cats. Ok, I lied she does post rabbit pictures sometimes and there was once a duckling.

I have come to the conclusion most of my FB friends are bonkers.