WIBU re: couple hogging spare seat on plane

[eslteacher]

It's a trivial one, but whatever!

So DP and I took a 9 hour flight the other day. Tickets suggested we would have adjacent seats, but due to a weirdly out of synch aisle numbering system on the plane, we ended up being an aisle and a row apart on a plane set out like this:

ABC DEF HIJ

So he was in C and I was in D, but not on the same row. Could just about talk, but with much straining, shoulder-tapping and leaning backwards/forwards into the aisle, and with the noise of the plane and people coming down the aisle all the time it was all very awkard and uncomfortable.

Anyway, there was a couple in seats A and B on the same row as me (in D), but when the plane doors closed no one had sat in C. Perfect, I thought, DP can move into that seat. As I leant forward and said this to him, the man of the couple immediately moved onto the spare seat, and started piling their bags and coats onto the empty seat now bewteen them. The woman tapped me on the shoulder while I was mid sentence to DP, and said very firmly that they would be keeping the seat for themselves so as to be 'more comfortable' during the flight. I smiled and explained our predicament with the weird numbering and how we'd like to sit together, thinking they hadn't understood, but they just kept shrugging and broken recording me with 'no, we're keeping the seat so we can make ourselves more comfortable', while adding more and more of their stuff onto the spare seat.

At this point another random lady sitting in front on them got involved and told them they were being selfish, but they just blanked her, closed their eyes and pretended to go to sleep.

I wanted to get the air hostess involved, but DP (who reeeally hates arguments and is massively non confrontational) said he wouldn't be comfortable sitting next to them anyway now and he really didn't 't want to have to make a big scene to get the seat. So, much to my anger they ended up getting to keep their seat, while I was left to seeth with rage during the whole flight.

So anyway, since I had 9 boring hours to reflect on this I did wonder at one point if they had just as much right to the spare seat to be 'more comfortable' as we did for the purpose of sitting next to each other. AIBU in thinking they were selfish, or were they being no more selfish than us?

{grin] Exactly Linus.

Oh FFS.

It was a budget airline. I presume the lady at check in thought she was putting us together, since in fact she gave us tickets for the same row number in adjacent letters. It was only once on the plane that it became clear the row numbers were out of synch across aisles for some weird reason. The plane on the way (same airline, same model of plane) didn't have this issue, the row numbers matched up.

I did ask the air hostess if there were any pairs of spare seats together, there weren't, only a few singles. We could have gone round enquiring if other people next to singles could have switched, but we weren't that set on sitting together to do all that.

I guess that I keep coming back to them being selfish because they already had the advantage of sitting together and wanted the extra space on top of that, whereas we weren't sitting together, neither did we have any extra space. I assume had the situation been switched, they would have wanted to sit together (since yes, they talked plenty throughout the flight, leant on each other to sleep etc) and would have felt entitled to having the seat in that situation too. So I see them as being selfish by not doing the whole 'treat your neighbour as you would want to be treated' thing, because I would have acquiesed in their position.

But from this thread, I see that a) quite a lot of people adhere to dog eat dog as opposed to treat others the way you would want to be treated, and b) even people who don't do the whole dog eat dog thing don't see there being a clear right or wrong thing to do in this situation. Which is fair enough and why I started the thread.

And yes I KNOW that this is a trivial issue (as I said in the OP) anbd hardly the great moral question of our times. And of course it was no massive torture to sit apart from DP, just a bit annoying. As another poster said, probably the reason it got to me was because I had 9 hours to dwell on it.

Well I think they were selfish. Yes it is great to have that empty seat but it is also nice to be seated with your travelling companion.

It reminded me of a flight I was on once. Quantas from Bangkok to London. Row of four seats. Me in on in aisle and a nice elderly lady the other end of the row. She was lovely and we chatted away about various things and her family etc etc as you do, through the meal service. After the meal service I went to the loo and when I came back she was stretched out asleep on the three seats in the row leaving me with one! Obv I was only entitled to one but I have to say I was dumbfounded! One of the stewards noticed and was equally shocked. He asked would he wake her and ask her not to take up all the spare seats but I said to leave it. He did keep me supplied with gin and tonics all the way through the flight as he reckoned I deserved it!

I would have sat there seething the whole time - a whole bloody 9 hours as a captive seether, would have been plotting revenge- but I can be a bit of a seether. Did I mention I can be a bit of a seether?

If there was a seat next to me on a long haul flight, I'd be amazed if someone else thought they could have it without a good reason (child, scared partner, etc).

Did you treat them as you'd like to be treated? They wanted the seat and so did you. You wanted them to give it up, they wanted you to give it up. So you can't complain really.

Sorry, I would have done exactly what this couple did. I hate being squashed on flights which is exactly what happens when you go from sitting two in a row to three in a row.

I'm also a really nervous flyer and like to be able to squirm and have books, laptops etc easily to hand. I know that's really mean of me but on a nine hour flight when I'm feeling like crap I really don't have it in me to care much about other people wanting to chat. (I would care if it was parents wanting to sit with their children).

I think they got there first, fair and square. If they had moved as requested, one of them would have ended up squashed into the middle seat, next to a stranger (which everyone knows is the most rubbish place to be if you have a row of 3).

On a long flight, most people end up plugged into the entertainment or read for most of the flight anyway, so being a few feet away from Mr Euro wouldn't bother me.

I'm amazed at the number of Mumsnetters who would have selfishly clung on to this spare seat as a handy place to keep their bags and coats knowing that it meant another couple on the same flight were unable to sit together. It was a 9 hour flight, not a quick jaunt to Europe. Am really surprised.

Yanbu, and all bags etc are supposed to be kept in the lockers to prevent flying missiles in an accident !

Row of three, a couple sat either side of an empty seat. You and OH sat separately across an aisle, both couples eyeing up the empty seat.
They're thinking great, we can still be sat together but sit a bit more diagonally and have a bit more leg room without reclining seats too much.
You're thinking, great OH can ask them to move up and sit straight across from me.
It would be nice if they did that but who in reality wants to sit in the awful middle seats for 9 hours? Neither of you were owed it, they were technically more entitled to it seen as it was closer to them. So yes it's annoying for you but that's just your bad luck and they're good fortune

I think perhaps we all place different importance on sitting together. It's happened to me on a number of flights, it's 9 hours, not days. the poor bloke has to live with me for years, I'm sure the break wont kill us. As I generally listen to music, read a book or try to sleep its pretty irrelevant where he sits.

I personally wouldn't have asked the couple to be squished up so my OH could sit opposite me, I would have been conscious we were comfortable as in aisle seats, while one of the other couple would have had to be quite squished up. Economy seats are not known for generosity. Guess we all think differently. I would have felt a bit selfish Restricting their comfort for something so minor, so different strokes for different folks.

I'm not sure I would be bothered about not sitting with dh on such a flight either, but these two did want to sit together and asked, presumably nicely. It takes a special sort of arrogance to point blank refuse and think you are entitled to have the spare seat just because you are closer to it.

Mimisunshine, the spare seat was on the aisle, not the middle seat. But they then moved into it, using the newly-spare middle seat for 'comfort' space.

Also am surprised by the preference for aisle seats, I generally prefer a window so you can lean against the wall to sleep/doze/read. Agree that middle seat is the worst of all though.

I guess we should have said at check in that we wanted two seats together, though again I think the check in lady thought thats what she was giving us. By the same token, I guess the other couple could have asked for two aisle seats together if one of them being in the middle seat with a stranger on the other side was such a problem.

YABU. Middle seats on a long flight are rubbish. It would have been selfish of your DH to make someone sit in a middle seat just so he could sit next to you.

I was once squashed in the middle seat on a 9 hour flight. The lady on the aisle seat popped a couple of sleeping tablets, covered herself in a blanket and slept for almost the entire flight.

My bladder nearly burst before I had to disturb her so I could go to the loo.

It was the most uncomfortable flight I have ever been on.

And technically if the empty seat was actually the one between them then your Dh still wouldn't have been next to you.

I don't think I'd give up an aisle or a window seat for a 9 hour flight which you wanted one of them to do.

Ah sorry, see it was actually the aisle seat. But yes one of them got to the aisle seat first so they'd still have had to have given it up for your Dh.

Viva, the empty seat wasn't between them. They had window and middle seats. The spare seat was on the aisle, directly across from mine in the next row.

I think yanbu.

But then I think its rude to recline on short flights and know that many on here think its their right as they paid for their seat no matter how inconvenient it is for the person behind with a baby on their laps [remembers own thread a couple of years ago]

There is something about plane travel which seems to bring out the worst sort of 'I'm alright Jack' behaviour in some people.

Sorry, X post.

They were really selfish. Very surprised they didn't just move over tbh at your request. I'd have asked the flight attendant if it was possible for your DH to move, if nothing else just to annoy the selfish couple more!

BTW - had that issue with seats once before flying to New York. Was really odd. But we didn't know beforehand and had actually prebooked our seats beforehand (we had also checked in online) but the seats were changed, for all 7 of us, when we got on. It was apin as the 3 children wanted to sit together, but then the flight hosts wouldn't let them as there was no supervising adult sat directly opposite - because of the strange seat numbering and their mess up with seat allocation!

think I would have spoken to the air steward. The other couple are not entitled to 3 seats as they only paid for 2.

I hate anything like this though.