Please help find a dress for my brother

[aPseudonymToFoolHim]

:)
Thought that might grab some attention. The brother in question has lost his mind decided to buy his girlfriend a dress for her birthday WITHOUT her input. So it falls to me (and now YOU) to find something suitable.

Her favourite colour is red, so he has so far only been looking at red or black.

She is mid 20's, young and fun, fresh, doesn't really wear makeup, shoulder length straight hair, and he describes her as "She's got big hips a smallish waist, and smallish bust. She wears size 12 if that's any help" (I know!)

As a guide, he has so far offered these for approval (but what does he know anyway?) ASOS black

Debenhams black

and this because "orange is nearly red"

So please can you help me help him? And make sure he doesn't get dumped for a terrible affront

She may even prefer a jumpsuit jumpsuit

I do think it is risky- can he not take her shopping em route or even ask hotel concierge for help (if it is that swanky they will help).

He could buy several, present her with them at the swanky hotel and then she could choose the one she likes best. He could then take back the ones she didn't like.

That would take away a bit of the risk.

So not a good idea.

That last dress would be very unflattering on anyone who isn't stick thin. Actually I don't like any of them.

Persuade him to take get shopping. This could be a disaster!

I've got big hips and even when I was skinnier those hips made buying clothes REALLY tricky. A lot of dresses don't suit as they are too tight around the hips. It's so uncomfortable to squish yourself into them! I am not sure this is a fantastic idea to be honest. And I have to agree with your mum, I would think about a hat as well ;)

Oh and I would be mortified if I had to return a gift like this because it doesn't fit over my gigantic well curved hips. It's one of the areas I don't feel happy about anyway, without having to make it more humiliating.

tell your brother to stop treating her like a doll and let her be the person she is

Why not present her with the trip as a suprise and then give her x amount of cash to go to town and get a dress and have a pamper?

1. she loathes shopping
2. she's very boyish in her ways
3. it's a surprise in the most swanky hotel you've ever seen, that he's intent on getting her a dress.

And that right there ^^ is 3 very good reasons not to buy her a dress.

Get her a voucher if you must and let her do some internet shopping...otherwise let her wear what she wants.

I don't know...

I'd usually agree that it's a terrible idea and it shouldn't happen, but DP did something very similar for me for my 21st and I loved it. The dress was stunning, not something I'd probably have looked for myself but I love it, and I'm very pleased he chose it.

I think if he sticks carefully to styles she's worn before, and perhaps takes one or two of her own dresses as back ups, it shouldn't go too wrong.

I think it would be ok if he presented her with a few to try on and the option to return them all. He should definitely take one of her existing dresses as a back up.

Well, ignoring the fact for a minute that I am not mid twenties.....

I have a small bust and big hips. I would not wear any of those dresses you linked to as I don't think they would necessarily flatter.

I have to agree with others. Buying clothes for someone else is a BIG risk which could ruin the whole occasion for her.

Assuming she can wear one of the dresses she wore on previous occasions - can he not get a piece of jewellery, silk scarf, bag that would co-ordinate?

gig I love that jumpsuit! (for ME!)

worra

Nina "tell your brother to stop treating her like a doll and let her be the person she is"

i think, having read this, he may now see sense be swayed by your advice to step away from the idea :)

Thank you all :)

If my bloke bought me a swanky dress of his choice to wear to a posh place, I would feel at best, insulted that he didn't fancy me the way I am and at worst, that he was a control freak who was trying to change me into his Stepford blow-up doll. That she is a jeans and no make-up type woman makes it even more ill-advised.

It's a lovely but v misjudged idea. It smacks of seeing women as things, not real people. I hope he will be swayed by our advice - the surprise at the hotel sounds good enough without overegging the pudding.

I second OxfordBags.

No no no. The odds of him buying something she hates is high, and she will feel like he is trying to shoehorn her into his idea of the perfect woman. I would hate this and I love wearing dresses and getting glammed up. It would just feel very controlling.

And here I was ready to tell you about the time when me and my best gay friend decided to find him a dress to wear for a performance. He got admiring looks in both H&M and Topshop, truth be told. The dresses showed that he was well endowed, so it was quite a show....

He also probably doesn't realise that for some dresses you need the right kind of underwear - strapless bras or ones that have criss cross straps or a low back. If she doesn't happen to have the right underwear when he springs this on her, she's hardly going to want to sit in a posh restaurant with her underwear hanging out, is she? Plus she might not have the right shoes etc.

And no, it's really not as simple as walking into a shop and grabbing a size 12 off the rack. The last dress he suggested would look appalling on anyone with large hips, orange is a very dodgy colour for most people, and you would need a strapless bra for it.