To be a bit careful when making conversation with clients?

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

I told this to a friend of mine who is also a cleaner and she thought I was ridiculous, so I thought I'd ask you fine people.

I have this idea that I should never comment on the possessions/things I see in someone's home when I'm cleaning. I mean, I sometimes say "I really love this conservatory... I can see why you like to spend time in here" or something like that. I mean that I try not to talk about their possessions.

I try not to notice their things, beyond the amount of attention it takes to clean them. Obviously, I find myself idly wondering about the people in photos frames I'm dusting, or things like that. I just try not to dwell on them to any real extent. A couple of days ago, I was dusting a family photo and I realized there was an extra child in a few of them (looked very much like a sibling and the photos were all a few years old) and found myself wondering where the fourth child had gone and then pushed the thoughts out of my mind. It's none of my business. My friend, on the other hand, said that she would maybe ask about it. "I recognize Sue, Mark, and Billy, but who is that little girl?"

Not only do I think the answer may be awkward, I also am just hesitant to ever reveal that I notice and think about the contents of their homes. There have been times I have been too tempted to resist. Once was when I saw a framed certificate signed by King Edward along with the OBE medal... I asked the lady of the house if that was her father's honour and she happily talked about it. I justified this to myself by saying that she had clearly meant to show it off.

Another time, though... I was just cheeky. I noticed a book on a nightstand that I had just read, myself, and really enjoyed and wanted to ask what she thought of it. She was very happy to discuss it with me but I still think that I was wrong to do that. The temptation was just too great!

Anyway, what would you say about someone like a cleaner (or any similar trade) commenting on things like that?

I think you are right.

I am a carer and commented on how nice a lady's necklace was, a couple of weeks later, it went missing. Luckily it was found again, one of the other residents had, um, borrowed it, but I felt just because I had commented, I was under suspicion. I wasn't, not even for a second, but really regretted having made that comment.

'BUT - the best thing you can do if you have a cleaner is to not be home when they are there! So much easier!'

I don't mean, don't be there so you never have to talk to them! I mean, it's easier after the first couple of times to be out so that a cleaner can get on with their job without feeling the home owner is breathing down their neck. I used to clean homes for extra cash. I'm just talking from experience.

My cleaner is wonderful like this, I don't see her that often although we leave each other a note, we're face to face maybe twice a month at most.

She does comment on some things, such as we got a new sofa, she tells me its lovely, she has mentioned books we've been reading or films. We've discussed the schools or little odds and ends around the house, she noticed we had a fridge magnet from a place she had also been to.

However she helpfully doesn't bring up the fact that DH someone has obviously spent a night on the sofa, family photos, the shocking number of empty wine bottles or my new box of Vagisil.

Pretty much anything that you wouldn't be happy to discuss in a shop or with a neighbour or your boss, she keeps quiet about. I really really like her.

It sounds a positive attitude to have. Our home is our private space & to feel judged would be awful.