to be so irritated by the noise DH is currently making in his sleep that I keep 'accidentally' waking him up to make him stop?

[smeeeheee]

I don't really need to ask to be honest. I know I am, but in my defence it's the same sound a giant herd of wildebeest drinking from a watering hole in the serengeti would make, right nest to my head. It's not even real snoring - at least you know where you are with snoring. It sounds like he's snorkeling. I don't know what he's doing, how is it possible to make that much noise without waking yourself up? Baby constantly kicking me in the bladder and generally having an all night party in my uterus isn't helping either. GAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

next, not nest. My fury has apparently affected my proof reading skills.

Totally unrelated but might make you laugh
I once found out a boyfriend had cheated on me. I found this out whilst in bed. I may have got out of bed not very carefully and sat on his broken toes. He made an awful noise but didn't wake up

DH makes a relatively quiet noise repeatedly when he's asleep, and there's no fucking accident about the way I'm forced to go about getting him to open his mouth!

It's chinese fucking water torture on top of tortuous sleep deprivation, that's illegal surely?? (I really believe this in my rage filled at the injustice state )

Lots of sympathy about getting a bladder booting, someone kicking you from the inside out is never going to be a comfortable situation

YANBU, in fact I kick DH when he's making noises like a blocked drain pipe in his sleep. I'm up with reflux (30 weeks pregnant) have two ear plugs in and I can still hear him. Superdrug foam earplugs are the best BTW.

DH has sleep apnea and when I kick him, it is born out of deep love as I don't want to drown in his own fluid and when he stops breathing I DO NOT for a second think 'ah peace at last'.

OH GOOD GOD he's now added in some kind of bizarre and disgusting whistling noise, I think through his nose. If he lives through the night, it'll be a miracle. The thing is, when I prod him to get him to turn over, he harrumphs, turns, then finds a new and even more disgusting noise to make. The bump also now appears to be doing his stretching exercises with my ribcage as well as the 'kick Mummy in the bladder' trick. I think they're in cahoots.

I've had stereo snoring from DH (cold) and DD (4 weeks old) this week so I feel your pain!!! Sod "accidentally" let him know you bloody well mean it and you need your sleep for you and the baby. Failing that, there's always the sofa! For him, obviously

I think kicking him every time the noise gets above a certain level is perfectly reasonable. I hate it when my DH makes the bed vibrate & find kicking is the most satisfying (if not most successful) option.

3 YO DD2 has been ill and in with us this week so I've had her and her Dad snoring on one side of me, but her snoring is so cute and like listening to the rain gently pattering against the window as you drop off.

DHs puts me into an irrational murderous frame of mind.

How long would I get for clocking someone over the head with a table lamp?

agent I'm very jealous of your perspective on your DD's snoring. I just hear a watered down version of her dad! OP rhythmical kicking in time to the wildebeest should do it!

I've somehow managed to spin it out from the times you listen out for them breathing when they're really small

I've never looked on it as a plus point, so, thanks.

OMG this is my life!! Including being kicked in the gut!! OP, are you me?