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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD Pox problems

8 replies

AllTheMadmen · 23/03/2013 23:37

The season of the Pox is upon us.

I have Ds bday party next Sunday.
I am aware that a small group attending has had siblings come down with it. They are all really pleased, it was all fine no complications and now its over. However I know they will be bringing other siblings to the party, who may be in the incubation period now, and may come down with it soon meaning at the party they there is a chance they will be infectous, and I know some other ladies coming have NB's and have had siblings who have had it quite badly.
The two groups vaguely know each other to say hi, but probably not to disclose that one side has had CP quite badly. Also one lady is quite panicky about her baby anyway as had probs with others.

My problem is, if it was that these DP were the DP of DS friends I wouldnt bother with them anyway as its always quite angsty and they are not my type.

If I tell the pox lot not to come, they wont understand that, as they are all relaxed and assume everyone wants it, they dont get the incubation thing and think the other sibs prob wont get it, and if I tell the other side, they may think I am a tittle tattle and they may not actually give a fuck, although one def will but wont pass it on.

However, if i dont say anything, ie that some dc may be infectuous when they come, and on the other side someones kid gets it badly, I will feel morally responsible as I was the one in the middle who knew both sides!

My DS have both had it so not a problem for me, or should I just not bother and let what wil be will be, the kids may not be infectous anyway?

OP posts:
AllTheMadmen · 23/03/2013 23:38

My problem is, if it was that these DP were the DP of DS friends I wouldnt bother with them anyway as its always quite angsty and they are not my type.

sorry meant wouldnt bother if they werent the dp of dc friends.

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aldiwhore · 23/03/2013 23:56

I would simply send a text saying "Just to let you know that there have been some cases of pox recently, feel I have to pass this info on now I know!"

Then leave the decision making to others.

Perhaps also ask that if anyone decides not to come they let you know asap.

Don't make it a bigger problem than it is.

I waited and waited and waited for DS2 to get chicken pox after DS1 had it, I cancelled playdates and all sorts, he never got it. By the time I brought him out of quarantine, the rest of his friends had it anyway. Nothing wrong with making people aware but I'm much more on the relaxed side of things now.

AllTheMadmen · 24/03/2013 00:00

Yeah I have thought of that Aldi but I risk the pox side sayin that I am making a big deal of it and upsetting them.

I was relaxed too but I know one lady has a NB and I know she knew someone who got it badly and had awful probs with it.

I have to say though I would just quarantine as well, much easier if its at school going round you know about it - but this lot - they dont seem to care to let anyone know, someone could be preggers too.

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ProudAS · 24/03/2013 18:19

Risk probably not massive and there is no expectation to keep kids off school when siblings have had pox so try not to worry. There is a high likelihood of siblings getting the pox but chances of asymptomatic sibling being infectious at time of party much lower.

I think you should say something to other lot though and ask them to be discrete about it. If parents whose dc have had the pox think you should knowingly put pregnant woman at risk without saying anything that's not your problem.

fuzzypicklehead · 24/03/2013 18:34

I would just be quite clear to everybody that there's a chance siblings might be infectious and let them decide to give the party a miss if they're worried. You're not all that fussed about not seeing the parents, and it sounds as though there will be plenty of kids about anyway.

DontmindifIdo · 24/03/2013 18:42

Send the text saying that there's been some cases of chicken pox to all going.

If anyone thinks you are making a big deal of it, so what? If they say anything to you, whisper than you think one of the mum's of the other guests is pregnant, you're not sure so thought it best to make people aware so they can make up an excuse why they can't come if they don't want to 'out' themself as pregnant. Most of the "it's no big deal" types still accept it's best to avoid pregnant woman, or more, give pregnant woman a chance to avoid them...

DontmindifIdo · 24/03/2013 18:43

BTW - you shouldn't not invite the pox children's siblings, just tell people this is the case, then people can make their own decision about the risks.

AllTheMadmen · 24/03/2013 22:30

Thanks all.
I will prob send a text saying I think the pox is going round, it just seems a shame that the people who dont mind or care about spreading it will probably dominate the party group and those that are scared wont come, and they would hopefully be considerate but they miss out.

oh well!

Sad

ps there is another lady on chat, really wanting help about deciding what to do with it, wish everyone was so considerate when thier dcs have it.

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