To ask how to go about setting boundaries in friendships?

[LadyWoo]

As I've never managed to get the hang of this, and as a result lots of people seem to walk over me. Each time I try to set some boundaries the friend I'm setting boundaries with cottons on and ends up falling out with me, eg a friend that I stopped answering the phone to because she was phoning up every night and wanting to talk for hours, taking up all my relaxation and family time each night.

Help!

The first thing is to look at what you want compared to what they expect, and then care a little less about what they think of you.

You do put yourself out for your friends if they need help, but that's not the same as being at someone's beck and call not wanting to offend them.

What does it matter if that person stopped talking to you? You didn't want to spend all that time on the phone and if she was only happy with an all or nothing friendship then that wasn't the friendship for you.

You wouldn't say stay with a DP because having one which made you unhappy was better than no DP at all, it's the same with friends.

Be confident that you're the best person to know what you want to do with your time, you don't have to be shitty saying no to things, but you do have to say it sometimes.