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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to vent

2 replies

totallystumped · 23/03/2013 18:18

Just got off the phone from my DCs grandmother (Their Dad's mum, probably easier to call her MIL even though we weren't married) She's a not totally unpleasant old soul, even if she is a bit Hyacinth Bucket (showing my age).
Kids Dad dropped all contact with her at the end of Jan 2012, which really upset her.
I have no contact with him at all but I've been able to reassure her that he was still alive because I was getting money through the CSA. He handed in his notice in Jan. CSA haven't traced him yet. Due to a combination of cowardice and hope I didn't call to tell her this, when she didn't call me I figured he'd gone home cap in hand (would not be the first time) and she didn't want to tell me. He's not gone to her's and when she enevitably ended the start of call pleasantries with have you heared from? I had to come clean. I am SO angry with him for the way he's treated them and TBH frustrated and guilty with myself for not being in a position to help.

FIL is in the early stages of altzeimers but was never fully on the ball following a stroke while in ICU after a Coronary Bypass 13 years ago

MIL is very visually impared due to wet macular degeneration and now has degeneration of the hip which is limiting her mobility.

SIL who lives in the house has history of depression and isn't much help.

I live an hour and 2 trains away (I don't drive)

I look at my lovely pair of kids and pray this isn't genetic, but I really want to shake their dad and aunt

OP posts:
SquinkieBunnies · 23/03/2013 19:17

Vent away, it all sounds very stressful.

AgentZigzag · 23/03/2013 20:46

It's lovely you feel so much for these people, but you have to get rid of the sense of responsibility you have for your ex's behaviour! Smile

By asking you where he is, your MIL isn't saying she thinks you're anything to do with him any more, just that you're the person most likely to know because of the CSA etc.

They must know you've gone above and beyond what would be normally expected from an ex of their son, and I'm sure they're grateful for it.

Just keep doing what you're doing and try not to think too much about things you can't change Smile

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