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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have been a bit annoyed about something this therapist said?

3 replies

ethelb · 23/03/2013 13:30

Right it was 10 years ago, I was 17, and I am over it. But having spoken to some other therapists since them am i right in thinking this therapist was out of order.

I was 17, having panic attacks and had been referred to a therapist by my GP. I was eligible for free therapy as i was under 18. I had an initial appointment with a therapist who asked about my background. I talked abou the problems I had been having and eventually she mentioned that I was wearing a cross around my neck and was my family religious. I said yes, they were Catholic.

She asked if this meant that I came from a very strict, judgemental background where I wasn't allowed to say how I felt and asked if that was making me unhappy.

I said no, my family are actually quite liberal, my father is an atheist.

She then asked if we talked about sex and contraception.

I said yes, a bit, my family acknowledge that I may be sexually active, talk about the emotional and physical aspect of sex and relationships and my mother (v embarrassingly) asks if I understand how important it is to use condoms.

The counsellor then said that she thought I must be unhappy due to the conflict at home and inconstancy of my parenting as 'how could I know what was expected of me in a catholic household that was inconsistent in its views?'

I said no I don't think that has anything to do with it, as I am just v miserable as I have few friends and feel like I am under a lot of pressure to do well. (BTW I now think I just had a chemical imbalance as I had a v hard adolescence mentally). I didn't go back and started counseling with the sixth form service which helped a lot.

I am unreasonable to think she was projecting her own views on to me a bit too much? And wasn't really listening to what I had to say? And was a judgemental cow bag and therapists shouldn't be?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/03/2013 13:44

Like any other person in any other job there are good therapists and there are bad therapists. I'd move on and put it down to the latter...

poppypebble · 23/03/2013 14:21

I don't think she should have said those things to you. She shouldn't be telling you why you are unhappy, she should be helping you work it out for yourself.

I once saw a counsellor through Occupational Health who told me that accepting God into my life would cure my PTSD. Cogito is right, there are good and bad therapists as in any job. Unfortunately, people seeing a therapist tend to be vulnerable, so not always best placed to see that the therapist is poor and move on.

b4bunnies · 23/03/2013 16:03

she was wrong to do that. and, from a counselling point of view, she was looking for those 'easy answers' that just don't exist.

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