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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that a dinnerlady doing playground duty won't necessarily see every incident unfold?

18 replies

MDA · 23/03/2013 10:07

Quick background, I am a dinner lady at my son's school, a recent thing, I have been doing it for about 6 weeks. I really enjoy the job, the children are lovely, its a great insight into school life and whilst it doesn't pay much, it doesn't take up all my time, an hour and a half a day, and its tax free (under the tax threshold) so I thought I'd give it a go. So far so good.

I really like the children and the school is lovely. My boss is the head dinner lady, and she's been there a very long time. She's very nice and very conscientious, though she has a slight tendency to repeat herself and state the obvious, which is just her management style I guess. I always take on board everything she says.

Yesterday there was an incident in the playground. The rules are that there are no "touching games" but some boys were apparently playing bulldogs and someone got kicked in the cheek. It was dealt with by another dinner lady, who didn't witness the incident. I didn't witness the incident either, in fact, nobody did. There are 4 dinnerladies doing playground duty in a fairly large area, there is a football field and grassy area to patrol as well as 2 areas of concrete playground plus all the flushing children out of classrooms and making sure nothing dogey is happening round the side bits. Yesterday was eventful in terms of incidents, I had various first aid things to deal with from skipping rope mishaps and little ones falling over etc plus a banged head from a child who tripped over his shoelaces and bumped his head on a wooden table.

Once we'd finished packing up the dinnerhall, the head dinnerlady wanted to speak to me about "the incident that occured in the playground". I assumed she meant the banged head I dealt with, but it turns out she was talking about the bulldog/kicked cheek incident, which I hadn't heard of till that point.

Apparently one of my colleagues said that I was the closest one to the incident and I should have seen it. This has made me feel quite indignant, and I dealt with so many incidents yesterday that she didn't see, some of which she was "closest" to. In practice its not who is closest but who is facing that way as to who deals with the incident, or witnesses it. You can't always hear; the acoustic is that of hundreds of little noise streams echoing around plus yesterday was incredibly windy which made it harder to hear. I feel she was passing the buck a bit...she dealt with it, but didnt manage to find out exactly what happened, so just said to ask me as I should have seen it.

I don't stand still at any point during playground duty - the only time I stop walking and turning my head this way and that is if I stop to talk to a child or do first aid type things. Otherwise I am constantly pacing around and looking this way and that. Its not like I'm propped up against a tree picking my fingernails or yapping with teachers or anything.

To be perfectly honest, if I am going to be "at fault" or blamed for not seeing something simply because I am dealing with something else or looking in a different direction (I'm not psychic, after all) then its probably not the job for me...but do you think its reasonable to apportion blame in this way? As parents of school children (many of you) what are your views on this? I'm not actually sure where this will go but I have a feeling I'm going to get a lecture about pacing up and down and patrolling on Monday when I go in, and I don't really feel I can do much more than I am already doing. I find it frustrating that since I started, I get the same old stuff day in day out from my manager, all of which I am doing. In fact, I observe my manager and my colleagues in order to check my own "style" of patrol, and I am doing everything they are doing. I guess I feel like I cant' do anything right but its possible I'm being a bit paranoid.

AIBU?

OP posts:
corlan · 23/03/2013 10:13

YANBU - your manager is passing the buck.

You cannot possibly see everything that goes on in the playground or a classroom. The kids are smart, they check to see if anyone can see them before they get up to no good. The really smart ones send someone to distract you and keep you chatting so they can commit their evil deeds!

nipersvest · 23/03/2013 10:13

i can safely say, that yes, staff on playground duty don't see every incident. my dd was attacked by another child at school, at playtime, in a place that should have been on full view to the staff, and yet none of the teachers, TA's or other playground staff saw it. another child intervened and pulled this child off dd and went to get help. dd had bruises all over and finger marks on her throat Sad.

the school spoke to all the staff about being more vigilant, no-one was singled out even though each staff member out there has a certain part of the playground they are supposed to police.

MDA · 23/03/2013 10:22

Thanks for your responses so far. I actually think that we need another couple of dinnerladies patrolling than what we have, for the size of playground we have - but they have such trouble recruiting, not many people want such a "small" job and it is basially minimum wage, plus breaks up your day.

And then I think, well no wonder they have trouble recruiting and retaining staff when you feel like you are always in the wrong and not doing enough when you are doing all you can...

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 23/03/2013 10:24

We have 6 MDS for 1,000 pupils. I doubt they see everything either! That's the blessing of CCTV these days!

bochead · 23/03/2013 10:27

No sadly you can't see everything & it's unrealistic to expect you to. It's one of the key reasons my escapologist son had a 1:1 assigned to him for the lunch hour.

What you can do though is build such excellent relationships with the kids that they act as your eyes and ears to help avert serious incidents Wink

headinhands · 23/03/2013 10:44

You were being scapegoated. The Head MDSA wants to be seen managing her team and will have forgotten about this incident right after she spoke about it. You know you're doing all you can. You won't see everything. Even a teacher and a TA in a room with 21 kids won't see everything.

complexnumber · 23/03/2013 10:52

From what you have written I don't think you are being blamed.

If your manager was told that you were nearest the incident, of course she should ask you if you saw anything.

Of course, if your manager then went on to demand why you didn't see anything, that is completely different.

MDA · 23/03/2013 10:59

You might be right...I just have a feeling I'm going to get a big lecture on Monday about walking around, looking everywhere, which is already what I do...I guess I will have to wait and see. I feel like every day I turn up at work I get briefed on what to do like its still my first day...she says 'now I want you walking round the playground, looking everywhere like an owl'! Yes yes okay! That's what I do!!! Ah we'll...

OP posts:
comedycentral · 23/03/2013 17:12

I think someone is passing the buck! It sounds like you are doing enough.

FWIW I am a parent and I don't think children should be supervised every minute of the day.

auntpetunia · 23/03/2013 18:34

Just be ready with a list of things you did see and dealt with..... Did anyone see all of these.

say you where being a vigilant as all other staff but like you said in your OP you have so many children in such diverse spaces it's impossible to see everything.

Can I ask how many kids in school, are you MDS's allocated a specific area of the yard to watch? So 1 on footy pitch, 1 on 1st aid, 1 on the yard and one floating /flushing out. If not then suggest it

Someone is definitely passing the buck, don't worry about it . As you're new they are pushing you to either make sure you know what's what or possibly trying to push you out.

coughingbean · 23/03/2013 19:02

COMPLETELY off topic but are you my next door neighbour?! Grin

SandStorm · 23/03/2013 19:09

I would imagine the head MDSA needed to have all the information to hand that she could get so that she could report it to the class teacher so that when little Johnny's mum comes in at home time or first thing in the morning the teacher has all the available info to hand. It doesn't sound like she's preparing to grill you about anything.

Happymum22 · 23/03/2013 19:14

Don't worry about it- you are doing your job. It sounds a huge area to cover and she should assign you all different spaces to watch.
The reality of the playground is 99% of things will go unseen, games can switch from innocent fun to someone getting hurt or upset in seconds.
Children need to learn to be resilient and cope with disputes. Bumps and grazes get patched up and children will learn to be more careful.
If an obvious bulldog game was going on you would have seen it (if it is the same as my day!) because of the long lines of children opposite each other and loud chanting!.. So clearly it was a smaller incident.

My kids came home moaning of arguments/injuries and my reaction would never be where was the teacher? arguments I encouraged them to deal with alone, rise above it and get on with life and injuries I hoped my children went to a teacher.. i never expected a teacher to prevent it happening!

If she places more blame remind her of the area you are watching and fact there is no delegation of areas to watch.

Happymum22 · 23/03/2013 19:14

PS she sounds so patronising!!

Lovelygoldboots · 23/03/2013 20:45

I am in a very similar position to you op, MDS just started, love the job and work with another who moans about everything I do. She says she is the senior MDS. She has just been there longer than me. Ignore, ignore, you are doing your job. You cannot have eyes in the back of your head. Don't let her ruin it for you. Being an MDS is a lot of fun I think but there is alway one that is a crochety old bag.

MDA · 24/03/2013 10:25

Thanks Lovelygoldboots! Nice to see another dinnerlady on here!!!

Coughingbean I don't think so - my neighbours don't know I'm a dinnerlady I don't think!

OP posts:
coughingbean · 24/03/2013 11:46

Ah mine told me lat month she had just started Grin

Fairenuff · 24/03/2013 12:07

Some of what you wrote isn't clear to me:

the head dinnerlady wanted to speak to me about "the incident that occured in the playground". I assumed she meant the banged head I dealt with, but it turns out she was talking about the bulldog/kicked cheek incident, which I hadn't heard of till that point

So far so, good. But then you don't say what she actually said to you.

Apparently one of my colleagues said that I was the closest one to the incident and I should have seen it. This has made me feel quite indignant

Why would this make you feel indignant, did the boss actually say that she thought you should have seen it happen?

I work in a school and if someone asked me 'Did you see it happen because you were the closest' I would just say 'No, I must have been looking the other way, or I might have been attending to first aid'.

What was it about this discussion that made you feel indignant? It sounds to me like she was just trying to establish who saw what, so that she could pass the information to the teacher, who could then explain to parents.

The best thing would be to ask the child who was hurt. And then speak to those that s/he said were involved.

It sounds like standard clarification to me, not sure exactly what it is that has upset you tbh.

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