to be cross with ds, he thinks I am

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

we have a reward system so many stars means a prize from my treat selection. ds got enough chose a prize and said what he wanted next. it doesnt work like that I said, somebody else might pick it before you so pick the thing you want most. as predicted someone else got to it and picked this other thing. he is now stomping around with a right face on him being grouchy with everyone.grr

We use star charts and rewards with dd but the reward is a trip to the bakery for her to choose a cake. If she gets something big then it is split between snack and pudding.
Dd gets stars for getting dressed in the morning - and occasionally bonus stars for something excellent but rarely do we end up at the bakery more than every 10-14 days so its not too expensive or unhealthy.

Not sure whether it would work so well with an older child.

could do with youngest not sure if would with older two. trying to think of things to do together as rewards without being costly is hard x

In my experience they need to know the nature of the prize or treat for it to be a true motivator. Especially true of autistic kids and toddlers.

right need to change the system somewhat i think then everyone knows what their aiming for