to think that this definition of 'dysfunctional person' is sad and wrong?

[allaflutter]

a single childless woman I know, in her 40s, said :
'I tend to go out to dinner with my dysfuntional friends who are single, no kids, there are only a few that I know, so my options are limited regarding socialising in the evenings'. She mentioned that this included women and gay men, though possibly she just doesn't know single men of her age - and she does not date. Then added 'I fully admit I'm dysfunctional'.

So "no family/or at least ltr = freak", basically.

Aibu to be taken aback, or is this really a general view?

What it was saying is that she only likes to go out with people she has something in common with - doesn't it?

It's a bit of an odd state of affairs describing the reason you're friends with someone is because they're 'dysfunctional', I would think it's more unusual to describe other people like that and prefer 'fucked up' personally

but I'm wondering whether people generally view single childless women of 40+ as dysfunctional, obviously without telling then openly? She didn't mean those who've NEVER been in proper relationships, just no husband or ltr or kids at 40+.
er, 'fucked up' is hardly better!

I suppose it depends on how they have arrived at 40+ with no children.

One in five women now choose to be childless, presumably through making the choice to have a career.

On the other hand, as your friend doesn't date and surrounds her self with similar types of women, perhaps they are 'dysfunctional' in that they have psychological issues with relationships, men and children in general?

The fact that she doesn't date would be ringing my bells. If she wanted to date there are many means to do so, if she chose to. But not meeting men of her age is a lame excuse.

So I deduce she doesn't want a partner or children and thinks of herself as 'dysfunctional' because she is bucking society norms.

I think it was an off the cuff remark, not meant to be taken seriously.

I think a self depreciating comment made to one who may judge her and post about her comments on a well known forum!

People speak tongue in cheek all the time. We have just had a rather serious minded friend staying and DH had to keep saying 'that was a joke'- you don't realise how often you do it, until someone doesn't realise it is light hearted.

How could you possibly have interpreted this as anything but a tongue-in-cheek remark? :(

Stop looking for perceived offences - there is no mumsnet medal to be one, no matter how many old ladies you antagonise on buses.

Won, not one.

Dysfunctional- behaving or acting outside social norms
Perhaps that's how she perceives her life. I think she was just being a bit flippant though, and freak is not what she was implying at all.
I couldn't care less how old a woman is or whether she has children or not, but as a woman who waited to have children until I was older I would say that society does judge that "abnormal" if I'm to go by the hundreds of times people asked in suprise why I didn't have a child at my age.

Agree - definitely flippant, although there might be a hint of sadness behind it.

She's joking about liking to spend time with people who haven't followed the most traditional route in life.

Sounds like one of those defence strategies by someone who is anticipating criticism or judgement at every turn who tries to get the knock in first before the other person does. It is a bit depressing that people feel they have to knock themselves like that. I can sort of understand it actually: when I was single I felt like that too. But I think it's unwise to talk about yourself in such pejorative terms because you tend to end up believing your own negative publicity.