To be really angry that my H is working late when it's the first time in a year that we are child free

[BunnyLane]

I am so gutted to be honest.

My H has a very demanding job. I always support him and am used to him working late all the time. He enjoys his job and is very good at it and I am happy that he's finally in a place where he wants to be.

However we never have any time to ourselves. We go out roughly 3 times a year. On our anniversary, his birthday and sometimes on my birthday (it's 1st Jan so a pain in the arse date) I don't blame him that we don't go out as I am the one who doesn't feel comfortable to leave or DD with a babysitter I only like to leave her with a member of family or if we go out during the day with a close friend.
My family is far away and his side of the family hardly ever help us out so we only get a chance to go out on a special occasion.
So tonight our DD is at a sleepover with one of her close friends for her birthday. She's very independent and I know that she'll be very happy there so there's no worries that we'll have to get her later on in the evening or anything like that.
I am really pissed off that he won't leave work at a decent time so we could just go out for an hour and have a glass of wine and a chat just to get out of the house for a change... Have some grownup time together...
Am I just being a needy, sad person? Cos that's how I feel at the moment...
I probably just should've organised a girly night out instead of hoping he would take this opportunity...

Sorry it's so long...

I don't think YABU, but does he know what you were hoping for? I know if it were my bf, unless I spell it out he just doesn't think along the same lines as me.

I'd be pissed off too as we also get little "us" time - in fact I have been close to tears when almost stood up and instead of dinner and a film we just about got in for the start of the film and settled for a bugrer afterwards.
I had been like an excited teenager all day, but DH "had" to work late at a meeting and was relying on a lift back to our town from his boss because he would have missed his train.

Not his fault but I was sad and cross

can you order in a takeaway and watch yr fave DVD instead?

Sorry. Tired. Not sure my second sentence made much sense

Well, you go out without children three times a year more than we do.

Although I can understand your disappointment, especially if you have been looking forward to go out.

How old is your DD? Do you not have friends you can swap babysitting with? If DD is old enough to go on a sleepover why can't she be left with a babysitter?

Did you tell him and make and arrangement?

Is he breaking an arranged date with you,or are you disappointed he didn't seize the chance for a night out?TBH, I think if he has made the assumption that you wouldn't be going out,that's understandable considering you never go out unless DD is with family.

If I plan something or need DH to do something I make sure to give him notice. I could not leave work ad hoc either. I block stuff out in my calendar.

He did know that I wanted to go out and did say that he'll leave at 5 but as usual there was an urgent last minute meeting and then something else...

SnotMeReally that how it ends a lot of the time with us I can really understand the feeling...
I think a take away and a movie will have to do...

I think Im just angry as I honestly don't expect anything every time he says he'll be home for dinner I don't even bother hoping any more and just thought that an opportunity like this hardly ever comes along and he might actually make the effort to come home...

Oh well shit happens

We did make a plan and he cleared his calendar but things come up as there's deadlines...

I think what gets me is that if he clears his calendar for something he planned with his mates it always goes ahead if it's something we plan for ourselves there's almost always a late meeting...

Stop being so low maintenace.Seriously.It isn't doing you any favours.

Start using a babysitter.If your daughter is old enough,and independant enough,for sleepovers at friends...she is well able to be left with a babysitter.Set a date (that isn't one of the 3 times a year),and go on a date with your husband.No excuses.From either of you.

HildaOgden you are right and I know I'm being stupid abou the babysitter

It might be time for me just to say that we set a date and stick to it for a change