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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to want to tell a buyer on ebay for F*** off...

26 replies

oaks2012 · 22/03/2013 07:52

Ive been selling lots at 99p just to clear my flat and give new homes to unused things (and my experience of freecycle is not good).

The listing for something ended on Sunday. Under normal circumstances, I would have posted Monday morning - HOWEVER, I had a scan at hospital on Friday (was diagnosed with cancer end of 2011) and had to go back in Monday and Tuesday as they found tissue in my neck that shouldnt have been there.

I didnt bother taking the ebay item out to the hospital with me on either day - I posted it on Wednesday morning.

This morning - I find this message in ebay (sent yesterday)

Hi
Are u going to send me these?
I've had no contact from you at all???
If I don't here from you then I will open a case against you!!!

I am sending this back:

go away you impatient cow

Hello,

I have been in hospital.

They were sent on Wednesday morning - I have a proof of postage from the post office.

If you look at the listing - estimated delivery is within 6-8 working days. You won the auction on 17th, which makes estimated delivery between 25th and 27th March. Its the 22nd March today.

I dont think sending a message threatening to open a case against me because your item hasnt arrived before the estimated date is fair, or necessary.

Regards

I am annoyed that I am being polite to this idiot!!

OP posts:
Wheresmygalaxy · 22/03/2013 07:59

I could of wrote that myself OP as i have too many stupid buyers lately. The latest won an item off me on the 12th march, on the 17th and still not heard anything sent her a message asking if she still wanted it not a problem if she didnt, got this back "yer i still wanna buy it, i forgot about it cos me mum died, ill pay on friday".

So i replied that i hadnt expected the payment to take so long and i was going away on the friday for 2 weeks so it would be best to cancel as i didnt want her waiting ( and marking me down for slow p&p). Not heard a peep since.

I think the thing with buyers is they use other internets shopping sites, most use next day delivery so they expect that from all places on the internet even ebay. The clever ones do realise that you are a person and not a business shipping out daily, its just the minority who ruin it for the rest of us.

But your message was fair, even though i get so worked up and probably would of sent the 1st draft then regretted it. Good luck with the hospital stuff too Smile

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 22/03/2013 08:06

I would leave out the hospital bit.

People never believe that anyway.

They were sent on Wednesday morning - I have a proof of postage from the post office, which I can email to you if you would like.

As stated on the listing, estimated delivery is within 6-8 working days. For an auction ending on the 17th, delivery is between 25th and 27th March. Its the 22nd March today so you will certainly have the item within the stated delivery dates.

Regards

It basically says the same thing - you're stupid Grin but not in any way that could bite you in the arse.

Original poster
oaks2012 · 22/03/2013 08:11

Thats much more polite!!

Though I am not too bothered if she believes that I was in hospital or not the way I see it is that its the truth - so her believing it is neither here nor there though I do like the way you phrased the rest of i t.. Very civil... Maybe I should amend!

OP posts:
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 22/03/2013 08:19

What about neg feedback?

Feminine · 22/03/2013 08:20

I'm sorry oaks

I think this week must have been very difficult for you.

Then....bloody ebay on top!

I have had nothing but crap on UK ebay , so i admire your reserve in your response.

Original poster
oaks2012 · 22/03/2013 08:34

Only buyers can leave negative feedback - sellers cant..

You know what, all things considered, Im feeling pretty good..

I got up at 6 (my 2 year old has just emerged at 8.30! Early morning for him - he usually sleeps till 9!) and thought I have got a good few hours to get on with some stuff, and seeing that message really got my back up.

Though saying that, Im kinda over it now!!

I fume immensely for a short amount of time then its totally gone (unless Im pregnant, then I dwell on insignificant things for weeks on end..)

OP posts:
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 22/03/2013 08:37

I know. I meant what about her leaving it for you if you send any message she could get the hump about.

Some people are really unreasonable. I think ebay is really awful and so unfair on sellers.

tethersend · 22/03/2013 08:52

It's a tough one- although the buyer was very rude!

I'm finding more and more stuff just doesn't arrive and sellers are ignoring communication. I've had to open two cases in the past month, having only had to open one in ten years previously. Perhaps she's had similar experiences and taken it out on you...

Original poster
oaks2012 · 22/03/2013 09:18

Possibly. Though I have had things not arrive (actually I think its the postman delivering to the wrong address, which I have complained to the post office about on a number of occasions).. But I would always check when something is due, and after the estimated time has passed, I send a polite message - not threating to open a case in the first instance!!!!!

OP posts:
hopefloats · 22/03/2013 09:49

OP, it is not the buyer's fault that you had to have hospital treatement. Stay polite.

Original poster
oaks2012 · 22/03/2013 09:57

hopefloats There wasnt anything on my listing saying I would post the day immediately after the listing ended. My point was that it is what I would usually do.

I think I did stay polite?! Did I not? I think the buyer is the one not polite!!

OP posts:
Original poster
oaks2012 · 22/03/2013 10:00

By the way --- I just got a reply from my message to the buyer...

I am not emailing because they haven't arrived.
when you send something out on ebay you have to mark it as dispatched I no this as I'm also a seller!
This was not a threat you must understand that if its not marked as dispatched then how would a buyer no it has been sent??

OP posts:
spottyparrot · 22/03/2013 10:05

They will not believe that you were in hospital. I know it's actually true in your case but it is the no. 1 fake excuse used by people who haven't paid or haven't posted on eBay or who want to pull out of a transaction.

The email you received was not very polite. Some people are like that and I would just say that yes, it's posted and you hope they like the item.

Catsdontcare · 22/03/2013 10:11

"How would I buyer know if it's been sent"

We well if it turns up within the estimated delivery time then that's a good indication you dingbat? Stop being a panick pants.

Buyers piss me off

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 22/03/2013 10:43

Well, fair enough. It is good to mark things as dispatched. (not that that is proof of anything, but it does make people feel communicated with, which is important) So that's something to do in future.

lljkk · 22/03/2013 10:57

I think buyer is reasonable to expect you to mark things as dispatched (sorry).
I would have apologised for failing to mark item as dispatched and otherwise state I posted on Weds, per T&C in the original auction and suggest when I think it will arrive by.

Buyer was rude in how they asked you about it, though. Don't blame you for seething at that.

threebats · 22/03/2013 12:24

I sold a watch - got a message this morning asking me if I would pay for a battery for the watch as its only got 60% battery life left...
Sure, how about I pay for a service for it as well? And a clean? Want it re-sized also? No problem... And lets forget about the postage I knocked off for you so you had it delivered free...
Some people are idiots and think they can almost threaten you with negative feedback if you do not comply with their demands.

But always stay on the right side of polite as there is nothing worse than the dread you feel when you have a message/email from a person and there has been a conflict - you look at it, ponder it, have to make coffee before you open it and you feel like sh*t for the rest of the day. I have had a lot of buyers message me in an almost fury over something not arriving when they expected it - one nicely worded message back to them and an apology and a hope you have a good rest of day/weekend usually does the trick. Unfortunately, for others, there is no hope - don't take it personally, don't worry about what they say about you on feedback - its really, really not worth it. Don't leave feedback for them until they have for you :)

What's the weather like where the item went to oaks? Because if its bad there, the package will probably be delayed.

applepieinthesky · 22/03/2013 12:52

You should have marked it as dispatched which would stop buyers messaging you asking if you have sent the item. There was no need for them to be so rude though.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 22/03/2013 12:56

I'd just say in repsonse 'point taken' and mark as appropriate, (fingers crossed it does arrive in time and intact).

Hope you are all right btw you don't need extra stress in your life, good luck.

SuburbanRhonda · 22/03/2013 13:23

"I no this"

That's what would piss me off the most.

tethersend · 22/03/2013 13:31

As an aside, I just called one of the sellers and they pretended to be their own brother and claimed the seller was in hospital.

I probably came across as completely heartless, but if I had a quid for every time I'd been told that, I'd be MINTED Grin

Obviously in your case it's true OP, but please be aware that us buyers are very sceptical! Hope the problem gets resolved Smile

LilQueenie · 24/03/2013 01:13

You dont have to click the despatched button. Not a lot of people do. I bet this seller is an unregistered business seller or something. From experience the know it alls often let themselves down big time via their own listings. Take a look at the ebay community boards.

LittleEdie · 24/03/2013 02:22

I never bother to say something's dispatched.

Chocovore · 24/03/2013 09:06

I always mark the item as dispatched and also 'contact seller' to let them know it has been posted. You are marked on communications by the buyer so this is just part of the selling process.

They were rude though.

Hissy · 24/03/2013 09:27

Ignore her, you've fufilled your end of the contract.

should have sent her a dictionary though, just so she'llno in future