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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off that DH has gone out while kids and i are ill?

37 replies

princessj29 · 21/03/2013 20:55

I have chronic sinusitis which is making my head feel like it's going to explode. I also have a temperature of 40 as well as fluid on my middle ear which is making me dizzy and sick. Saw doctor yesterday and she said I'm not getting better because I don't get any rest. I usually co sleep with our baby but can't tonight because of my temperature. She has a bad cold and wakes about ten minutes after I put her down. I feel so dizzy that I barely feel safe to hold/rock/feed her. 5 year old has a temperature and what seems like the beginning of a sickness bug. She's been up 4 times already. Despite seeing how terrible the three of us feel, DH has gone out. He has a cold and has text to say he'll stay at his friends house so he doesn't wake us with his sneezing...! He added that he won't go out tomorrow like he had planned though. However, 5 ye old is at her dads tomorrow and baby is breastfed and has never been seen to by him at night so he may as well go out as he'll be no help to me. AIBU to think he should have stayed/should come home tonight?

OP posts:

ScottyDoc · 21/03/2013 21:56

Eggy I think your comments could be a lot better written and less aggressively dramatic. If I was in OP's exact situation and probably exhausted and emotional, it would pretty much make me feel 100 times worse seeing a comment like 'have you always been a doormat?'

Think before you say things, that's all. No need to 'worry' on my account thanks.

EggyFucker · 21/03/2013 21:59

I think very carefully about what I say, and the context in how I say it, cheers

Scotty, you are projecting. You might allow your partner to treat you badly, but then "make it up to you", but it isn't healthy to promote that for others.

Creameggkr · 21/03/2013 22:01

Well how fucking kind of him to stay at a mates in case his sneezing wakes you up!! Mi am also flabbergasted and if it were me I'd be wearing his gonads for earrings.

Smartiepants79 · 21/03/2013 22:03

Ok so he is being a dick.
Most of us are at some point or another.
When you are tired and ill it is difficult to summon the energy to argue your case.
The thing is that over the course of a long term relationship these things tend to even themselves out. We all have our stupid/selfish moments when we just want what WE want and sod everyone else!
Right now he has made a really bad call, he should NOT have gone but unless this is something that happens every week/time you need him I wouldn't say it was a 'red flag'.
He owes you big.
Tomorrow try sitting him down and explaining just how abandoned you felt and how upset and angry you are.
I also agree with handing over the kids and sleeping!

EggyFucker · 21/03/2013 22:06

princessj, you have a lot of shit going on in your life, going off your other threads

your partner should be supporting you in this

instead, it seems he is part of the problem

ScottyDoc · 21/03/2013 22:09

I wonder if you had ever considered Eggy that sometimes, for whatever reasons, people act like dickheads, and that actually many do regret it sincerely afterwards and have a lot of making up to do to whomever they hurt?

I shan't waste my breath anymore though. You DON'T think carefully about what you say, you accuse me of 'projecting' and you come across as a bit of a neurotic nightmare in my opinion. Good evening to you.

EggyFucker · 21/03/2013 22:14

You are entitled to your opinion, Scotty.

Fairenuff · 21/03/2013 22:15

This wasn't just a mistake, an error of judgement, a minor mishap. This man cheerfully walked out on his wife who was exhausted and in pain, his baby who is also ill and not able to rest and a five year old showing symptoms of coming down with the same illness.

This 'man' (who professes to be too ill himself to care for others) trotted off for a piss up with his mates.

And the icing on the cake. He's doing her a favour. Wahey!! Better hang on to that one, OP, he's a Keeper.

Come on, people. Do you seriously believe she should suck it up?

MammaTJ · 21/03/2013 22:16

Why did you not let him know before he was drunk that it was not ok?

Some women never fail to bemuse me with their lack of assertiveness in their relationships. I hate to blame the victim but some do beg to be victims!!

EggyFucker · 21/03/2013 22:16

Have a peep at OP's other current threads, folks

Stuff like this doesn't happen in a vacuum.

Creameggkr · 21/03/2013 22:23

I think that the op is pissed off with her husbands behaviour so that's what this thread is about. The fact that some people would find this acceptable is irrelevant.

Amykins · 22/03/2013 06:37

Hope you are feeling a bit better today OP.

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