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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that at aged 11, 15 and 17 they can make their own tea once in a while?

31 replies

freddiemisagreatshag · 21/03/2013 18:12

Chicken goujons, oven chips and corn on the cob.

You would think I was asking them to cook some cordon bleu dinner.

I have to work. I have something that needs done. Tonight.

So, am I the only mother to ever ask her children to cook their own tea?

OP posts:
cory · 21/03/2013 18:16

I think that sounds quite reasonable. Unlikely that you will be reported for slave labour on that one. Wink

UrbanPrincess · 21/03/2013 18:17

No, I think it's perfectly reasonable for them to do their own dinner on occasion. I presume you cook for them most of the time and do their washing, ironing etc so it's not like you are making them do everything.

My 14 yr old can put a meal together so I don't see why your older 2 can't.

HearMyRoar · 21/03/2013 18:17

I could and occasionally did cook dinner supervised when 11. I cooked most of my own food at 15 and by 17 had moved out of home so obviously looked after myself by then.

So no I don't think you are being unreasonable to expect them to be able to sort our some dinner between them.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs · 21/03/2013 18:17

Yanbu. My 13 yr old ia currently cooking dinner and my 10 yr old ds2 makes a mean chilli! :)

expatinscotland · 21/03/2013 18:18

Ask? WTF? Mine are being trained up to cook for themselves and they are 4 and 7. I have mates with 11-year-olds who cook full meals not just for themselves but their parents as well.

Why on Earth have you left them so unprepared to look after themselves and expect others to skivvy for them?

Leave them to it.

Original poster
freddiemisagreatshag · 21/03/2013 18:19

Ha! I am so for showing them this thread. Grin

I AM NOT THE EVIL MOTHER INCARNATE.

(I do all the washing and ironing and cook most of the time)

The 11 year old is doing more than the other two put together. Which is disgraceful.

OP posts:
Original poster
freddiemisagreatshag · 21/03/2013 18:19

They CAN do it. And they do do it, occasionally. But tonight they are whining.

OP posts:
hattymattie · 21/03/2013 18:21

YANBU - my 16 year old does a great indonesian chicken thing with rice and can also do spag bol/chili. Cooking skills are essential - from time to time I opt out on a Saturday and let them take over. They should be able to do oven chips.

I tell them that I'm not the slave labour Grin

StuntGirl · 21/03/2013 18:21

Let them whine. It won't help it cook any faster ;)

Original poster
freddiemisagreatshag · 21/03/2013 18:25

Saturday lunchtime I don't cook, nor do I cook Sunday teatime, but most evenings in the week I do cook for them. Mostly because I work from home and so it's easier for me to do it and have it prepared than for them to come in and start to it.

The 11 year old has now taken over and is bossing the other two. She just told her brother to "shut up it's not hard" Grin

OP posts:
TheFallenNinja · 21/03/2013 18:26

Not once in a while, it should be regular.

expatinscotland · 21/03/2013 18:27

It's really not doing them any favours to skivvy like this. I was living on my own by 18 and really glad I knew how to look after myself because I'd been taught to and then left to it.

It's hard work, and takes way more time to cook with kids all the time, bake with them, having them shadow you on chores and 'help', but it pays off in the long-term.

GreatUncleEddie · 21/03/2013 18:27

Your 11yo sounds great. My 14yo cooked exactly that meal last week while I was out collecting his brother, if that helps?

HearMyRoar · 21/03/2013 18:31

And while you're at it they can do the washing occasionally as well I should think. I did pretty much all my own washing at 11, though I never bothered ironing and still don't. Ironing is for losers :o

pansyflimflam · 21/03/2013 18:33

My 11 year old and she just did a jacket pot and tuna and veg for everyone. Should I give her the number for childline now? I am not even working I am just lazing around MNetting..... [slack trollope]

Original poster
freddiemisagreatshag · 21/03/2013 18:39

The older ones CAN do it, they are just lazy.

They do know how to work the washing machine, and can put it on, but tbh I just do it as I go along because everyone doing their own washing means DS would put one shirt in or DD1 would put one dress in.

DD2 is quite the bossy little madam Grin I am impressed with her

OP posts:
HugeSigh · 21/03/2013 18:40

my 12 year old cooks once a week. Normally something similar to what yours are doing or a curry with a jar.

Tonight DS and I are ill so she has cooked pie, ash and peas. The mash was a bit lumpy but still a great effort!

I think it's important for her to help out a bit.

BackforGood · 21/03/2013 18:42

I can help too - My dc (16,14, and 11) have had to cook one evening meal a week each, every week, for the last 2 and a bit years.
The type of 'bung it all on an oven tray and not have to do anything other than lay the table' meal you describe was what my then 9 yr old started with, but they can all cook a proper meal now.

Tell them every week Grin

CAF275 · 21/03/2013 18:45

My DS (14) does a mean fry up, amongst other things. DD (9) also likes to cook, but not nearly as competent as DS yet. I occasionally (OK, once a fortnight Smile) just cannot be arsed cooking so it's a DIY dinner. Kitchen usually looks like shit afterwards, but that's what tomorrow morning is for...

lljkk · 21/03/2013 18:49

My mom stopped cooking when I was 8yo. We were all expected to get our own. We all had sandwiches, bowls of cereal and snacks as main meals for years.

No harm done, to be honest, but nobody expected proper cooking, either.

StuntGirl · 21/03/2013 18:53

I wish I'd been given more responsibility like cooking as a child/teenager. I'm an awesome cook now but would have been nice to learn those skills earlier!

Startail · 21/03/2013 19:20

My 12y DD isn't very fond of cooking, but DD1(15) will quite happily.

RedHelenB · 21/03/2013 19:24

Mine love to cook tea ( 13 & 11)& regularly sort themselves & little bro out. They are being unreasonable

HugeSigh · 21/03/2013 19:28

Backforgood - that is the best advert for having more kids I've ever seen! Also, you can get them all hoovering etc once a week and it isn't slave labour if they only have to do it once :)

Sadly at 3 DS has a while to go before he's upto cooking dinner but we have just cracked the washing in the hamper thing so we're getting there!

Yfronts · 21/03/2013 19:40

My 8 year old cooks backed beans on toast quite happily

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