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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to give up running my own business to work in a pub?

20 replies

Mimstar · 21/03/2013 10:50

I am a bit confused and could do with some outside opinions!

I'm 24 have one DD, who is 4 and is now in school. I left school, went to college and dropped out with no qualifications due to having something terrible happen to me which put me in a 'bad place'. When DD was born, I decided that actually I wanted to do something with my life with the aim of running my own business so that I could work from home around DD.

I got experience writing for a local magazine and I won a prestigious poetry award. This then led to working freelance for a national publication, within 6 months of deciding to give it a go. From that I started to do digital content for a big online retailer, which in turn led to doing marketing copy and other administrative things and now I do business development full time and have some really good clients, one being a big designer label.

I do all of this from home, and it is going well. But I get very lonely, I'm a sociable person and being at home all day, even working, is taking it's toll a little. I worked at a pub in the next town when I was younger, and as they have just expanded they said they'd love to have me back. It would be 10-2, 7 quid an hour weekdays.

I like the idea of being back around people, having people to chat with etc - I mentioned it to DH who thinks I am insane. It would be less money, and obviously I would have to make arrangements during the holidays and if DD was ill. He thinks we have 'the best of all worlds' with me working from home, and he works long hours in the city. It's not even a matter of the money, as we don't rely on my earnings they are a bonus. My mum thinks I'm daft to give up a 'career' which I can work around DD to be a waitress/barmaid for a low wage. My friends think I'm crazy too.

DH suggested I find a hobby instead. And I guess I am probably being ridiculous to chuck everything I've worked for away...I guess I just want to hear what everybody else thinks.

OP posts:

TroublesomeEx · 21/03/2013 10:55

I don't think I'd give up the business for this. I think that your loneliness is giving you a hefty big pair of rose tinted spectacles!

Do you have any hobbies/interests that take you outside the house? Could you look at doing something like that instead? It just seems like madness to give up your own business when it's going well and you enjoy it to work in a pub.

I suspect that it's a decision you'd come to regret in a few years. But I do understand the need to get out and spend time with other people. I think finding another solution to that is the answer.

Original poster

Mimstar · 21/03/2013 10:58

Thank you folkgirl - that is basically what everybody in RL has said too! I do definitely have rose tinted spectacles on, especially as people who work there are old friends.

I suppose it is a bit mad, and I'm quite an impulsive person and sometimes I need that reigning in a bit I think. DH says that when it came to having to organise school holidays/manage things if DD was ill, I'd be kicking myself and I suspect he is right.

One of my friends was actually a bit cross with me, she told me 'it's not fair to take a job that somebody might need just because you fancy a chat during the day'

Maybe a hobby is the way to go.

Thank you.

OP posts:

NotKathyReichs · 21/03/2013 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emsyj · 21/03/2013 11:00

I worked for myself from home for a bit and I hated it - it was so lonely, and I missed the structure of having to get to a set place at a set time etc. I sold my business and got a job. Financially we are better off now as my business was still in the fledgling stages and I wasn't taking any earnings from it, but I do understand what you mean.

Could you get some part time hours at the pub that you could combine with continuing your freelance work? Do you enjoy your freelance stuff?? If not, ditch it. I ditched a lucrative career because it made me miserable and I've never regretted it. If you like it, find a way to get your social interaction needs elsewhere - hobbies, sports, one night a week behind the bar....

Original poster

Mimstar · 21/03/2013 11:00

Thanks NotKathy - that's it, I love the social side of working in a pub, and it's a real community pub too. DH wouldn't be happy with me working evenings/weekends as that is the only time he gets to spend with me & DD and he's not too pleased about losing that time with me when we don't even need the money and I can work from home. I just miss it, I guess.

OP posts:

Snowme · 21/03/2013 11:03

Work one day a week in the pub and keep the day job.

Bramshott · 21/03/2013 11:06

I think your business sounds great, and that you need a hobby.

Like you, I work by myself, from home, and about 6 months after DD2 started school I found myself feeling really down and lonely. I love my job, but I miss the face to face interraction with other people.

Since then I have tried to take more opportunities to get out and about - I've joined a yoga class, a book club and a choir, and I try to make time to have coffee with friends/attend school events, even if at the back of my mind I feel like "I don't have time, I should be working". Everyone thinks that working from home is ideal (and in many ways it is) but I certainly needed to recognise my own absolute need to see and talk other people several times during the week.

Good luck!

Original poster

Mimstar · 21/03/2013 11:09

Thanks everybody, really helps to hear other opinions!

Sounds exactly the same Bramshott - DD started school in September and at first I enjoyed the novelty of having more time to work, peace and quiet. But now I am starting to feel lonely, and I like the idea of going out to work and having a start and finish time, coming home and forgetting about it!

But yes, it would seem that a hobby is what I need instead. Am I under-estimating how stressful juggling holidays/illness would be?

OP posts:

kalidanger · 21/03/2013 11:09

Could you think about renting a desk somewhere? www.independent.co.uk/money/spend-save/dont-want-to-work-alone-rent-a-desk-instead-1924574.html

Personally, I would never give up a good job and being my own boss for pub work. Perhaps for an office job doing the same thing but not for minimum wage. Talk about one extreme to the other!

kalidanger · 21/03/2013 11:09

www.independent.co.uk/money/spend-save/dont-want-to-work-alone-rent-a-desk-instead-1924574.html

Noren · 21/03/2013 11:13

Could you expand your business to be a bit bigger, so that you can take on staff and thereby have people around (and even make more money!). It does sound like you definitely need to get more of a social life - your DH will have to accept you need a more evenings/weekends to socialise in.

Bramshott · 21/03/2013 11:16

Actually yes, thinking about it Mimstar, it was at almost exactly this time last year (maybe a little later) that I ended up bursting into tears all over a friend when she asked me how things were going!

BitOutOfPractice · 21/03/2013 11:18

Hello!

I also work for myslef, from home (doing something similar actually!) and, also being a sociable person, I also sometimes feel lonely.

However, I would, under no circumstances give it up to work in a pub. You would be insane.

Firstly it would be a crying shame to waste your talents. Secondly, you have no idea how stressful and difficult childcare is. Thirdly, I think you would very quickly be bored.

Some suggestions...rent a desk in a shared office...make sure you get out and do something every day (gym? class? volunteer)...

Original poster

Mimstar · 21/03/2013 11:21

Ah, thank you everybody for the advice. Whenever I post on here I'm always overwhelmed by how nice and wise everybody is

Okay - I'm being silly. And it's really nice (a shame, but nice!) to know that others feel similarly. I should probably focus on expanding and maybe taking on an assistant, that's a good idea.

I will consider hobbies, maybe just visiting said pub for the weekly pub quiz karaoke

OP posts:

Snog · 21/03/2013 11:27

If you don't need to work for money but want to be available outside school hours and in the school holidays why not volunteer?
This could be a way to a good social life, keep your CV going and do something worthwhile all at the same time

Original poster

Mimstar · 21/03/2013 11:37

That's a good idea Snog thank you! I will look into that

OP posts:

BitOutOfPractice · 21/03/2013 11:45

I don't think most organisations would want someone who wants to only work certain weeks of the year snog - then the OP still has a childcare problem surely

cozietoesie · 21/03/2013 12:03

Mimstar

I've worked in pubs many times and the reality of day to day graft is different from maybe working at weekends or busy times. You'd be daft to throw away a good occupation for it especially for less money.

Volunteering is a great idea - but also, why not put yourself forward as a relief staffer to the pub managers? They'd likely bite your hand off for the offer because good relief staff are the very devil to find. (Most people want permanent full time jobs and aren't prepared just to fill in when someone doesn't turn up.) You might enjoy that

TheCraicDealer · 21/03/2013 12:08

What about looking at renting office space from another company or sharing an room with another firm? It would increase your outlay, but you'd have adult contact all day, everyday and would always have a manned office at your disposal. There are a couple of businesses in our buildings that do this and seems to work well.

LadyApricot · 21/03/2013 12:16

You can join catering companies or festivals and do temp bar work. That's what I do and it's the highlight of the month if I'm working!
I have no social life otherwise and I get paid for it. Why not work as normal and do it on a casual basis? They will provide travel for you too.

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