Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to tell my ex husband he is a prize cock

39 replies

princessj29 · 20/03/2013 21:29

Ex and I haven't been together since DD, whos just turned 5, was one. I am now remarried and have another daughter who is 6 months old. He has contact every other weekend - no midweek contact and none during school holidays despite me having offered it. Last week he asked if he could have midweek contact tonight. He's probably had it five times at most since we split so, keen to encourage contact, I told DD she'd miss her after school activity today. She didn't want to, but accepted it. There's a fair in town so DD asked if he'd take her there after tea - there are many places to eat at/around the fair. He said he would. When he's taken her for tea before he's always been late so I was very specific about what time she needed to be back when he asked. We've had a busy few days and she really needed a bath so I said to be back by 6.45 which is reasonable considering she, and her sister, are usually in bed for 7.30.
At 6.15 he text saying they hadn't got to the fair yet and could he return her at 7.30 instead. I said no as it's too late, she needed a bath and he is so loud that he'd have woken my baby if she'd already been asleep. He returned her at 7.25! She was soaked through, shivering and half asleep. Turns out they'd driven 12 miles to collect his gf from work, then a further 22 miles past our town to him and his girlfriends favourite restaurant where DD doesn't like the food and so didn't eat anything. They then took her to the fair, another 10 mile drive, and she went on the water zorbing activity first where she got soaked but he let her Carry on going on other rides anyway despite her complaining she was cold and wanted to go home. Her lips were blue when she got here and she was absolutely shattered from lack of food plus too much driving around.
Younger DD was extremely tired and upset, elder DD was so tired she started crying at the prospect of having to walk upstairs and went to bed still shivering. She's been up twice already saying she feels ill and can't warm up and baby has only just settled. Before ex arrived DD and I filled an envelope with pictures she'd done at school for him as he has no involvement in her school life and so usually misses out. He didn't thank her or anything then on the way to his car DD saw him put the envelope and it's contents into our bin which is out for collection tomorrow :-( I have chronic sinusitis which isn't clearing up and the prospect of being up with the kids tonight just makes me want to ring him and tell him he's an absolute cock. I'm so tired and can't shake the illness because everytime DD returns from contact we have at least 2 or 3 unsettled nights due to nightmares from inappropriate films he's let her watch/games he's let her play. Apologies for the rant, realistically I know I won't call him. But AIBU to think he's behaved like an idiot tonight and to pull him up on it?

OP posts:
Loulybelle · 21/03/2013 00:06

Remember though, when your DD gets older, shes gonna always be thinking, yeah my dads a cock, because she will one day see it.

TWinklyLittleStar · 21/03/2013 00:15

Threads like these always shock me. How anyone could be so callous towards any child, never mind their own, is utterly beyond me. What a complete shit he is.

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 21/03/2013 00:21

i dont have children, but i have a 7yo nephew. the thought of anyone putting his pictures/creations in the bin break my heart Sad your poor dd.

what an utter cock Angry

kissyfur · 21/03/2013 00:25

Geez that man is a disgrace. Your poor DD seeing him throw her pictures away, that's made me so sad and angry for you both!

Cut contact she doesn't need a 'dad' like that

Greenshootsandleeves · 21/03/2013 00:27

I'd keep her off school tomorrow and let her cuddle up in a duvet with hot choc and dvds

It must be AWFUL to have to share your child with somebody who isn't fit to clean their shoes. I don't know how you put up with it Sad

margot1962 · 21/03/2013 00:30

Put your daughter first, which you are obviously doing.

Startail · 21/03/2013 01:03

Late isn't a crime, I'm no great stickler for bed time, but soaked, unfeed and freezing and it's been freezing her is a crime and YANBU

TalkativeJim · 21/03/2013 01:20

If he asks next week, simply reply -

'She saw you throw her pictures away.'

And leave it at that.

If it's on the phone, simply put the phone down after saying it.

If it's a text or email, reply with just that one sentence.

You don't need to say 'no', the sentence does it for you - and in a pretty useful way- it gets him on the back foot. Do you mean, you're angry about the photos, or that your DD is upset and doesn't want to see him? He won't know, but hopefully he'll be taken aback and embarrassed.

And see if he's got the gall to start an argument then.

Cabrinha · 21/03/2013 07:18

If baby is unsettled and co-sleeping, why not bring your older child in with you, if she needs a cuddle?

It sounds like a disastrous evening - although without the background, parts of it could be put down to things just going wrong (too long to get to places, her not liking the food - we've all been there). But in its entirety, with background - cock!!

Tbh, although everyone's talking about that, I'm more concerned that she's regularly coming home disturbed for days from inappropriate games and films. You need to do something about that - tell him, and get advice about stopping contact if he won't stop doing it.

princessj29 · 21/03/2013 12:13

She was up several times last night feeling ill, as a result was tired and emotional this morning. She asked if it's Friday tomorrow then said she's poorly and couldn't go to school - he told her last night its contact tomorrow and she knows he usually doesn't collect her if she is/says she is ill so is trying to get out of it. I have an extremely important meeting today and she had no actual symptoms of being ill so I sent her to school but she didn't even say goodbye :-(

OP posts:
InLoveWithDavidTennant · 21/03/2013 16:36

oh bless her Sad

sorry i have no helpful advice but shamelessly bumping so someone else can reply

Amykins · 21/03/2013 17:38

Your poor DD. What does your DH think of it all?

MyLittleMiracles · 21/03/2013 17:53

He sounds like a prize cock, and you are definitely not being unreasonable. For throwing them pics in the bin he deserves a slap ((((hugs)))) and hope you and your dd feel better soon.

AmberLeaf · 21/03/2013 18:41

Sounds like an attempt to show his gf what a great dad he is.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread