I hope I'm not being a vulture, I don't think I am but interested in opinions.

[SolidGoldBrass]

I have had celebrant training, though I have mostly conducted weddings, but know the basics of funeral officiation as well.
At the end of last year, a friend of mine died, and I mentioned to a mutual friend that I could do funerals, and was available if wanted. The family were pleased, and took me up on it and all went well.

Now another friend (more of a friend-of-a-friend but someone I have known for a long time) has died So I emailed a mutual friend and said that I didn't want to intrude but if they wanted the service done by someone who had known her, etc...

What do you all think? Is it intrustive to suggest doing this, or are people likely to find it comforting and helpful to have an officiant who knew the deceased. (BTW if I knew the person was, for instance, religious and regularly attended religious services, or that his/her close family were, then obviously I would stay well out of it.)

I think you did a nice thing. I have been to a funeral recently where the vicar was a good friend of the lady who had died. It made a real difference to the ceremony, in a good way.

Thanks everyone. As to the payment issue: I charge for weddings because I am properly and fully trained for those, funerals are not somethng I intended ever to do, but got into it because of my friend's funeral in January. I didn't ask for any payment as she was a close friend and I would have been going anyway.

For this one I might accept expenses if it's miles away (not sure where they will be holding it) - that's assuming they do ask me to do it but only if they bring the subject up first.

Though that is one of the things that worries me a bit: in a general way, if you offer a professional service that you would get paid for it you did it for a stranger, yet you are aware that friends might prefer to use you rather than a stranger, it's sticky to negotiate isn't it?

For anyone who's never been involved in a death and all the arranging and stuff that goes with it I would have thought your offer/info would have been most welcome. They are not obliged to take you up on it are they? And I'd always ask if there's a charge - nothing's free really is it? So no, YANBU. Do you advertise your services?

YANBU. I think it's fine to approach the families of people you knew, so long as your opening gambit states that you are not cynically touting for business, merely making it known that you'd be honoured to act as celebrant for the friend/acquaintance should the family be in need of one.

I think that offering in a way like email is absolutely fine. It's non-confrontational, allows people to think about it in their own time but gives them an 'out' if they feel they need it.

Not at all I think it a lovely gesture for the family to know the funeral if you are wanted is in safe hands,

FWIW i was at a neighbours Humanist funeral recently I thought it was really nice and personal ( as nice as funerals can be ) and when I go I want to have a humnaist funeral

YANBU to do this for people you know as a favour.

I think YWBU to ring the grieiving if you don't know them well enough, or their beliefs.

So I think it's a question of how well you know your contact.

From what you've said YANBU.

I have an uncle who is a lay vicar and he did part of my aunts funeral and it was nice to hear him , the minister wasn't very good

Will you go on to be trained Humanist funerals SGB?
I think they are rather wonderful.

to doHumanist funerals.

Oh bloody hell, I certainly wouldn't ring up touting, that would be rude and tactless. This time I sent a PM to a mutual friend saying, you know everyone, what do you think and who should I ask, and she put me on to someone else, who has passed my contact details on to the deceased's DP.

I am considering getting back in touch with the BHA and doing the final stage of funeral training: I always thought I wouldn't be able to cope with doing funerals but managed to do the one in January and it went well. And people at the time said, you should get back into it, you're good at it.

I do think that humanist funerals are a Good Thing in general, they are not anti-religious, but they focus more on the person and the ones left behind than on concepts of 'heaven' or afterlife, which is more comforting to those who don't have religious beliefs.

I think it would be welcome.