To be annoyed when people don't "do the maths" on taking teachers time, favours etc

[Molehillmountain]

Not quite sure how to express this but there are some parents at school who seem to feel entitled to constantly bend the rules in small ways. The deal in ks1 is that you wait with your child til a teacher comes, this parent doesn't. The same and several others talk to the teacher at the end of the day more than anyone else. A few send their child in with things that aren't allowed leading to manageable but annoying "we'll that's up to x's mummy isn't it" . And because dd is good friends with one of these children, she comes to play at our house and there's always a bend to the pick up arrangements because she hasn't thought things through. Or they frequently bring a sibling to a class party when it seems as if they've got a way round it.
All I wish is that people would think sometimes "would this be okay if everyone did it?" And then sometimes decide not to do whatever it is. Sometimes of course, it's because you have to and that's different.

Some people are just incredibly flappable and disorganised, some people are just mindless insensitive selfish beggars who only worry about themselves, other people have a lot on their plate and don't have the focus to worry about others at that time.

Some people take up the teachers time at the end of the day because there are personal important issues that they need to discuss, others feel that they have a sense of entitlement to do whatever they want.

I think it's just a case of sussing people out.

If I wanted time with a teacher I'd put a note in my DC's bag, or drop an email saying it's difficult to get a moment, could we spend some time together. Simply put I wouldn't let it become my problem.

There will always be people who do things slightly differently.
I've had to take a sibling to a party- no choice! but I am sure people would look at me and think "couldn't her husband have him? hasn't she got family nearby?" and not know anything about my circumstances.

TBH I think you just concentrate on your own business. You never know what's going on in other people's lives.

I'd agree with WallyBanter's categories and add those who assume "If it was a problem, they could just tell me so" - so long as the teachers, party hosts, etc allow people to do these things, there are plenty of people who will not even consider changing their ways, because they simply don't spend their lives worrying about what other people may or may not be thinking of them for it.

I don't think its up to you about the teacher's time, but if this happens a lot when their child is coming to your house, then pull them up on it if it causes you a problem.

Otherwise, I think you just have to weigh up whether the benefits to you (your child presumably likes having a friend over) vs the inconvenience of people who can't make a plan and stick to it.

I think I know Iab a bit u - born of my pathological inability to feel justified in asking for help or favours without reciprocating fairly. Friend has just had to make me see the logic of her giving ds a lift somewhere, with an affectionate kind of exasperation! I envy the askers/takers in a way I guess. Hey ho-got it out of my system now.

This does my head in. I rarely have to speak to the teachers but when i do, i have to wait until the same 2-3 parents have finished. It also bugs me that parents still go into the classroom (reception) with their kids on a morning to take their coats etc off. My dd has done it herself since about 2 weeks into nursery, so surely theirs can too?

Oh and at hometime these parents blcok the doors so my dd cannot get out (she will not push past) so we're stood there for ages waiting for them to finish.

SillyTilly, YABU about the coat thing. My DS is 3.5 and can't yet do his coat or shoes. Hurrah for your DD, jolly well done you, please come and teach my DS how, will you, because I am obviously a crap parent . OP, YANBU in the general sense that there are always some people who do think their circumstances merit special consideration - whilst I appreciate that there will always been things you don't know, if it is a regular thing and they show no awareness of the fact of may be an inconvenience, it is U. I think if they know it is a problem, acknowledge and apologise, I think its forgivable, even if regular, like a sibling at a party. Some people DON"T have someone they can leave the sibling with and the invited child is too young or insecure or whatever to be left alone but if you ask first and keep the sibling under control, fine.

YANBU

Some people are selfish. Some have genuine reasons for thinking they can take up more of the teachers time than everyone else, but the majority are just selfish. You can't blame the for that I suppose, we all want the best for our children and will do what we can to help them.

The head teacher at my school has had to start standing in the doorway preventing parents from going in to sort out the children's, coat, bag, water bottle etc. there are staff inside to help with these things, the children are fine. But there are still numerous parents that stand there flapping in the doorway. Very annoying for staff.