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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be waiting for the perfect proposal

109 replies

Oopsiedaisie · 19/03/2013 11:29

Nearly three years ago when I found out I was pregnant it was a surprise but both DP and I were very happy about it. I did say that I wished we were married already though. A year later DP proposed but not in a remotely romantic way (didn't get down on one knee, in a busy public place and hadn't even planned a meal or anything afterwards). I couldn't hide my disappointment and so we had a big emotional discussion and he agreed he would do it again more romantically. Almost two years later and I'm still waiting. (Admittedly in that time we've had another child and moved countries twice). Every so often I bring it up and he says he wants to do it but hasn't had time/ doesn't know what to do/ was hurt after last time etc... Last time we spoke about it he essentially admitted it was his laziness that meant it hadn't happened so far. I am growing increasingly resentful that he can find time for rugby/football/wasting time on a million other things but can't find time to be romantic JUST ONCE. But! Am I being unreasonable and a princess? should I just cut my losses, go down to the registry office and get it over with?

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 19/03/2013 15:54

OP the whole point of a romantic proposal is that it is a surprise. I don't really understand why you want the grand gesture. Do you want this in public where others can see or would you just like him to present you with a nice ring in private or do you have ring yet?

pleasestoptalking · 19/03/2013 16:31

My DH proposed to me in a B&B with the romantic words 'shall we do it then?'. I couldn't even see his face, it was very dark.

Lovely though. Romance doesn't have to be grand gestures and stereotypes.

BarredfromhavingStella · 19/03/2013 16:59

Are you being a princess? Hell yes!!
Life isn't all hearts & flowers & romantic gestures, sounds like you're living in some dream world.
He proposed & you didn't like it, don't blame him for not trying again.
HTH

Sillyoldbagpus · 19/03/2013 17:07

He asked you to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you. This IS romantic. Start planning a wedding.

zlist · 19/03/2013 17:12

He asked you to marry him, because he wants to marry you - that was romantic.
Flowers, one knee, meal...sound more like a tick-list.
I'm not surprised he felt hurt. I think you owe him an apology - maybe you could organise a night, tell him how much you love him, apologise and ask him if he still wants to get married?

taketheribbon · 19/03/2013 17:35

Yes, yabu. Accept that the window for romantic proposals has been and gone, and maybe you can make the first night of your honeymoon the best ever, or get him to carry you over the threshold with a rose clamped between his teeth or something instead? Smile

pinkpaws · 19/03/2013 18:35

Well i am going to stand up for you i know how you feel day to day life is full of things that are dull and routine but you what one special moment and that moment to be your Dp asking you to be his wife . However i wouldnt bring it up again it really has to come from him or it will mean even less than the first time.

countrykitten · 19/03/2013 20:06

Get him to propose to you on the Jeremy Kyle show - you'll remember that for a while after....

You were really rude to him first time around. I wouldn't be asking again if I were him.

detoxlatte · 19/03/2013 21:37

My DH proposed three - three! - times.

#1 I had booked a surprise 30th birthday for him, tellin him only that he needed to take two days off work and fun his passport. He's already bought a ring and packe it with his clothes. Weekend was great, and he ha such a good time he forgot to propose! I still count this as one though Grin

#2 amazing weekend away, down on one knee, shaking like a leaf, grinning like a monkey.

#3 right after #2 cos I forgot to say yes Grin

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