to ask brother to share bank holiday weekend at our parents'caravan?

[balroymum]

I will try to be brief as this has turned into a bit of a saga. Here's what happened: DH and DD arranged with my parents to use their caravan for easter weekend ( they're away on holiday.) Brother and SIL bit arsey about it for some reason. They wanted to go but hadn't asked. Agreed that we would have a day together on the mondsy then they could stay for the week. Sorted. We fill rest of week with plans to vidit DH's family, catch up with friends and book DD in nursery for a day to do DIY. All cgange - brother gets new job, starts tuesday after bank holiday. Asks to swop. Okay I say, see wgat I can swop round in the week and ring you back. Agree to swop but bit miffed as usually a fair near carsvan oark.

ah! Not finished! Damn phone. Fair near caravan park ( if anyone is still reading!) Two days on and almost sorted but can't move one of our plans so ring brother and ask if we could come on the Sunday instead. He says I am being unreasonable. I have let him down and he is pissed off with me. Very upset as he has called me twice to row about it. I said it didn't matter, tried to just leave it but he wouldn't. Now saying I have ruined the holiday for his family and they're not going at all now.

Am I really unreasonable?

Would there be room for all of you to stay there on the Sunday ?

I need a glass of wine - not making sense! Sorry about all the typos in first half. I meant to hit 'review' message and edit my post not actually post it!

Sorry but I am completely unable to follow your post however as you asked your parents first and were unaware they wanted the caravan I don't think you can be being unreasonable ,even though I didn't understand the rest of it .

nearly maltezzers but would be a big squish. Brother has three (lovely) kids. Good idea though. I think if he hadn't upset me so much I might have thought clearly and suggested that.

I don't blame you floralnomad! I can barely follow it myself- bit emotional. Thanks for the vote of not unreasonable though. I think he's cross with me for asking if he could come home a night earlier. He said I had 'begrudgingly' swopped with him then added 'conditions' to him staying the weejwnd. I thought I was suggesting a compromise but obviously not!

Thanks Seniorwrangler. I wish I could just go and enjoy the weekend. Bloody knackered and was soooooo looking forward to finishing work next thursday, filling car with favourite people, food and wine and just getting away from it all but I don't want my brother to come out as the injured party and it would upset our parents if they found out (he might tell them) that we had fallen out.

Why are you feeling guilty?

This is all your brother's doing and now he's sulking like a child and trying to guilt you into his own way (with no compromise for the inconvience he has caused you.

Has your brother always been a prat?

Would he agree to paying for half to rent another van at the park, if possible, for the Sunday and Monday? He has mucked you around by not getting in and asking first if they really wanted it and by claiming they wanted the rest of the week and then changing it to the Easter Weekend. He has no right at all to be so out of kint about it. Do you have other friends who stay at the park who will also be going to the fair? Could you spread people around them too? Or you could just do what my dad does ... pitch a tarp off of the van awning poles and sleep under that.

I am breathing a huge sigh of relief right now and might actually get some sleep instead of stressing about it all. Thanks for reading my jumbled post mumsnetters! I think he just has a way of making me feel crap sometimes. Love him to bits but he is my 'little brother' (35!) and he uses this to his advantage. I am too soft really. I should have said no in the first place but feel bad for him as his new job involves working away from home for a whole month at a time and that will be really hard for everyone. Hoping this will all blow over- I've stopped crying now at least!

He is VU - but maybe he is v anxious about new job (but will never admit it) so taking out strop on you.

Yanbu!

thanks mumi! Last year camping would have been a fun option! What is going on with our weather?! It's a pretty small site so no option to rent unfortunately. Perhaps we should book a flashy log cabin (does such a thing even exist?!) in the Lakes somewhere instead? Send brother a photo ....

I think you could be right there Justin. I will clear the air before he goes away and wish him good luck in his new job. I'll miss the little stroppy so and so

you booked the caravan
he whinges
you compromise to accommodate him
he moves the goalposts
you compromise to accommodate him
he throws a strop.
Let him. Take the whole weekend in the caravan.

yanbu

he is being unreasonable. you are being more than accomodating changing you plans more than once.

let him stop. think toddler.... ignore.