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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU not to have been able to decide whether these people were dangerous?

6 replies

NoisesOff · 18/03/2013 17:10

I went to London recently (not something that I do very often). The Tube wasn't too crowded. I stood near one of the doors because I couldn't be bothered to sit down. A few stops later, 2 young men got on and stood one each side of the doors opposite to me. They were very very smart, but in a 'street' way. They looked lean and serious, and something about them made me quite nervous - just a vibe they were giving off.

The thing is, as we went through the next few stops, I noticed that other people walked down the carriage to get off at doors further away rather than get off at the doors by us. This happened too often to be a coincidence, and why would anyone not get off at the nearest door anyway? Not one person got off at our doors. Nobody else was standing in the door area where we were. Neither man said a word.

When it was my stop, the doors opened on the men's side of the carriage. It would have been ridiculous and very obvious to walk the length of the carriage to the next door. So I walked between them to get off. I swear they moved a bit closer to each other so I could barely fit between them, but nothing terrible happened.

So WTF was that all about? Should I have been worried about them? What the hell would they have done on a semi-busy train mid-afternoon anyway? What did everyone else fear? Was this all just crappy racism? (The two men were black, whereas everyone else was white or Chinese.) Does this happen to these men every single time they get on a train?

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
HoHoHoNoYouDont · 18/03/2013 17:20

I'd have thought it was more to do with the 'vibe' they were giving off, perhaps their stance. Maybe they just looked really intimidating. I don't think it would be their skin colour to be honest because everytime I've travelled on the tube there's a real mix of ethnicity riding on it.

littlemisssunny · 18/03/2013 17:23

I've been scared of all sorts of people on the tube, but I've got a very suspicious mind!

To me it's the vibes they give off that make me nervous, and their behaviour rather than anything else.

Would you have felt the same about their behaviour if they were white? I don't think it does any harm to have your wits about you and be aware of your surroundings.

WorraLiberty · 18/03/2013 17:25

I would have assumed they were trying to dip people's bags/pockets if they were moving together so you had to squeeze through them.

It probably was a 'vibe' because I live in London and it's extremely unusual to be in a busy carriage and see only 2 black people.

Pandemoniaa · 18/03/2013 17:26

What the hell would they have done on a semi-busy train mid-afternoon anyway?

I'm not paranoid about these things but there's a lot of pickpocketing that occurs on underground systems (not just the London tube) and a classic trick is to relieve someone of the purse/wallet/contents of pockets as they leave a train. By the time they realise they've been robbed the train has gone. As have their belongings.

On the other hand, it might merely have been that they were harmless individuals who gave off the wrong vibes.

BrianButterfield · 18/03/2013 17:28

There's a book called the Gift of Fear where the author talks about the fact we're often very perceptive at picking up people who are potential threats but often suppress doubts because we've been taught to be 'polite'. This can have bad consequences - anyway his message is listen to gut feelings. OK, maybe they weren't doing anything wrong, but for a whole coach to pick up on bad vibes tells you something.

PolarIceBears · 18/03/2013 17:28

Usually "vibes" are based on something. They could have been harmless, but just a bit grumpy, but this can be a bit intimidating especially in a closed place like a train.
You say they moved closer when you went between them, watch out nothing gets taken from your pockets on the tube. I had my phone stolen before, but when its so busy it's impossible to tell who's done it if everyones so close together.

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