To go to the head teacher first thing tomorrow?

[loopyluna]

DS, 13, was punched in the face on Friday by 2 boys in his class. The story goes that DS' friend wrote an insult about one of the boy's sister on his pencil case and blamed DS. The boys hit him outside of school. DS is v small for his age and couldn't begin to hold his own in a fight.

Today, they threatened to beat him up and said they would attack him in his sleep on the residential that's coming up soon.

DS is really shaken up, doesn't want to go to school any more and doesn't want to go on the trip.

AIBU to go straight to the head teacher or are there other channels first -parents of the kids? Class teacher?

I've never had this before and am really upset. DS has only been in the school since September and has been getting in really well until this.

Wouldn't involve the parents. Does your DS have a form tutor/mentor? They would be my first port of call.

Head of year and form tutor probably your best bet
Sorry about your DC x

Also, DS has begged me to let him stay off school as he is scared. I can take him to and from school as it is a strict school and they won't hurt him during school time but don't want DS to miss a day because of this. Don't want him to be terrified at school all day either though

Call school now and see if the head can speak to you and then when you go to see them they would have investigated everything before hand??

If you know the parents or family I would contact them first and be open minded as kids don't always tell the whole truth. Be friendly and honest and act in premise that they are sensible parents too eho don't want this to get more out if control than it is allready.

I think it's always best to settle if possible without involving the school.

However if this isn't possible then you have no choice.

Maybe down the line some self defence classes.

I would call his tutor or form teacher ( whichever is your main contact ) now . We have out of hours contacts for head and housemasters do you have those . Otherwise I would insist on being seem first thing in the morning

I've emailed his form teacher and head of year via the school message thingy. I don't know the parents at all as it's a new school so would feel awkward calling them directly really.

This happened to my son, at 14.

He has been assaulted in the street. Call the police, just as you would if it was a 20 year old that had assaulted him.

By all means let the school know what you have done afterwards, but don't let this be seen as 'just a fight between school boys'. Punched in the face! What would you do if this had happened to you in the street? Call the police, I hope!

Don't call the parents. Thats an easy way to make things worse. I see you have contacted head of year, if you can phone hoy then do. Let the school sort it out.

4am -how did that turn out for your DS?
I'm just concerned that if I blow it out of proportions, it might end up making things worse for DS. He has to go to this school for a good few years yet...

They are older than 10, which is the age (IIRC) of criminal responsibility. I'd call the police. It will give a clear message to those involved (and their parents) that you won't stand for this.

Yes to Police and also School needs to be aware of the threat re residential trip.

Get in touch with the head of year. And if you're not updated by the end of tomorrow with what's happening then go harder.

With regards to threats on the trip, make sure the school are aware of these, the culprits may find that they aren't allowed on the trip after behaviour, or very heavily supervised.

Let the school make the threats and if necessary call the police IMO, give them a chance to deal with it first, if as you say it's strict they should handle it well. They will also care about what is happening outside of school as they have a duty of care until the child reaches home.

Police and school imo.

Has DS 'friend' owned up to writing the insult? How bad was the insult?

He hasn't told me what exactly the insult was but yes, his friend told the boys that it was him who'd done it and they still continued picking on DS.
No answer from the teachers.
DH is going to take DS and DD to school tomorrow and go into the office after dropping them off.

Sorry I wasn't implying that your DS was responsible for it, just that the friend doesn't sound great. At least he has taken the blame though.

There is no excuse for the continued threats and I feel very sorry for your DS. I hope it gets sorted ASAP.

However, if the insult was racist, disabilist or mysoginistic then your DS's friend could also be considered a bully and I couldn't be too cross if my DS stood up to any of the above.

I hope you get it sorted and DS enjoys his residential

I'd contact the guidance teacher for your son.

punching in the face, is an assault, and there is nothing that can justify malicious bodily harm unless in self-defence of a physical assault on them.

The head of year has emailed to say that she will speak to the boys tomorrow and to tell DS to go to her if he has any trouble. I know he won't but he might feel a bit better knowing that she knows what's happened.

With all the upset we'd forgotten it was a special day at school tomorrow -mass in the morning then a disco in the afternoon. DS has calmed down and really wants to go to the disco which is reassuring.
Hope the little swines will be banned from attending...

1. Keep a diary of the incidents and record everything that happens, date and time and what was said.
2. Write to the school/teacher about the problems. It needn?t be long and rambling just short and to the point. "Dear Headmaster..." ?I am very disappointed to find that ? My son/daughter is very unhappy at school because ??
3. At the end of next week, check with the school to see what has been done. Ask them what progress has been made regarding these problems.