To by a really really big bottle of gin. Then drink the gin. Then put dd in the bottle of gin and seal the lid?

[HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen]

Till either

She is 21

Or

She puts her trousers on and stops screaming at the injustice of said trousers having to go on?

Buy
Not
By

Would she fit?

There, there. Preserving her in gin fumes is not the answer. She might stay at that age forever!

Seems like a plan to me

Wouldn't it be better if you get into the bottle of gin and seal yourself in? Just imagine the peace and quiet you would have. You woulnd't even need to drink all of it first, just enough for you to get in and then you can drink it while you're enjoying the peace and quiet.

Just don't twitch too much.

NO. Can I stuff my DD in there too, who, having skipped separation anxiety completely, has suddenly decided that she needs her (F/T working) mummy to be with her every second of the day. So DH rings me up, at work, so I can hear her shrieking 'MUMMY, MUMMY, NO GET DRESSED' incessantly.

At least I'm not at home. I fricking love not being at home.

Ullena thats the best reply i have read on here in ages!!! genuis! or should that me

How old? Mine is 2.3 and things that work... Chasing her around the house madly begging her. No wait, that one doesn't work. Doing it standing up. No idea why, big girl aspirations maybe. Letting her jump on the bed then playing wheee then down then swift trousers on. Telling her desirable activity comes after trousers.

I have said to DH that I could go to the States and get a job roping steers. They have no one better than me, I'm sure.

She's quite slippy from all the heartfelt sobbing, I think she'd ease down the neck with a gentle shove. It will be a very large bottle.
'

On second thoughts, maybe you could give her the gin: your dexterity would not suffer and she would likely allow the trousers to go on. Result, non?

21 years or months? It's important to know for the answer of my fitting question. 21 years you'd need a really really big bottle.

you could throw in a few toothpicks, tweezers glue and instructions for one of thoses ships in a bottle while she is in there. hours of fun!

She's 3.

I, being mature and reasonable have now insisted that she put her own trousers on after she refused to let me put them on to help her.

I am maturely hiding in the kitchen now

This wil still be happening at 3!!!!????!?!??!

The little arse has now took my thermal socks off the radiator and put those on instead

But has stopped howling

People lie about the terrible twos. Three is worse. They get wily with their tantrums then

She's already stronger than me. If she gets wilier I'm buggered.

Here is what works for DS4 (turned 3 last week): walking away. 'You don't want me to put your trousers on? Ok then' and leave. Makes him v upset and causes him to come running after me, crying, with trousers in hand . I then put them on.
The only way I can do anything is with his cooperation - he is so bloody strong I'd seriously hurt him if I 'made' him do anything.
Never mind trousers, it's getting him in to the car seat when he does not want to...

She's followed me with the trousers.

This time. I'm refusing. I have another 45 minutes to win this battle. Or her legs will freeze and drop off?

I agree. What myth is this terrible two thing. Two was a breeze, a summer picnic in a sun dappled park.

Three is like the seventh circle of hell. I go to work just to be able to hear my own thoughts. Occasionally people bring their three year ods into our shop.

I want to kill them.

I like the -put-yourself-in-there suggestion.

Step 1: buy gin bottle big enough to fit a full grown adult in
Step 2: drink enough of the gin to fit a full grown adult, tonic water at the desired ratio and lime
Step 3: get in but don't forget a giant straw and then spend a happy afternoon sipping at G&Ts, unaware of screaming child.

I'm thinking of doing this with colleagues (as in, Iget into the giant bottle) while they all go and stuff themselves. Or something else themselves.

"People lie about the terrible twos. Three is worse. They get wily with their tantrums then"

I agree. I'm guessing you'll already have tried threatening to take her out in her knickers and vest to buy frozen sweetcorn? Last time I tried that one, DD (aged also 3) threatened to telephone her godmother to tell her I wouldn't let her wear the trousers.

I negotiated brilliantly and said she could play Elmo on the ipad if she was a very good girl and wore her trousers.

She

Had a strop. Stormed upstairs got her brothers IPod and is now playing Elmo in her pants

Three year olds are the worst. They truly are. The only good thing is that they turn into four year olds, who are rather lovely.

That's what keeps me going