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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to holiday just with DS?

8 replies

MidniteScribbler · 18/03/2013 10:30

Fully prepared to be told I'm BU, as I need another perspective on this:

I'm a single mother to DS, and I also have an elderly aunt living with us. I absolutely adore her, but I will admit that it's been a challenge opening my home to someone else and having to adjust to all the changes that it brings. I love my own space, and she's quite in your face. All good, I can deal with it, it's what you do for family. But being as we live together, we tend to do everything together. She comes along pretty much whenever I go anywhere, we eat all our meals together, watch TV, etc.

I start back at work soon and DS will be in daycare full time. I get time off over the christmas vacation and I would like to take DS (who will be turning 2) to a favourite holiday location that I always went with my parents growing up and have continued vacationing there as an adult. I have really been looking forward to the idea of just having a few weeks just him and me, going to the beach, hanging out and relaxing, but my aunt is quite offended that she hasn't been "invited". I have suggested that I go for a week with just DS, then she flies over to meet with us, we have a week all together, then she stays on for another week or so while I fly back to get back to work. I'd have no problems if she wanted to keep DS with her for that extra week, I completely trust her with his care. She's not happy, wanting to come over to spend the whole time with us. I really love her, but I just want some time with just DS alone as work is pretty full on and he's in daycare.

AIBU?

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 18/03/2013 10:32

YANBU. just tell her you want some time alone with your son. she'd be very unreasonable to get in a strop over that.

purplewithred · 18/03/2013 10:33

yanbu, but it's a tricky one. can you get a family member to plead your cause to her? is there somewhere or someone she could go to on her own for that week?

aldiwhore · 18/03/2013 10:33

YANBU to want some time away from relatives... I do and I don't even live with them!

I can't decide if YABU to do this over Christmas surely you'll get more than 2 weeks annual leave?

MidniteScribbler · 18/03/2013 10:35

aldiwhore, I'm a teacher, so I get the school holidays. Christmas is also the summer holidays in Australia. I was planning on leaving on Boxing Day, in order to be back in time to get prepped for the new school year.

OP posts:
Ipp3 · 18/03/2013 10:39

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. It is perfectly reasonable to want some time with just your son. If your aunt has a real issue with this, then that is sad for her but it is her issue. You have suggested a very reasonable and, in my view, generous compromise.

WeAreEternal · 18/03/2013 10:41

YADNBU.
If anything your aunt is BU for being so clingy that she insists on following you everywhere you go.

I love my family to bits, we are very close. But in your situation I would be going away for two weeks alone with DS.

Are you planing to be away for Christmas? Is that they she is upset? Or is it entirely because you are wanting to go on holiday without her?

ChristmasJubilee · 18/03/2013 10:47

YANBU. I'm someone who really likes my own space and I think you are wonderful having your aunt live with you.

You deserve your holiday with your ds and your aunt is being really unfair. Could another family member intervene for you? I'm afraid I would be leaving some brochures for residential homes lying around. Grin

sheeplikessleep · 18/03/2013 10:50

YANBU in any way shape or form.

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