To post on here instead of punching a wall.

[peppapigmustdie]

Ex has not paid anything towards DD1 for 7 years after he became self employed. The CSA have tried but always return a nil payment due.
He sees her 3 times a year to fit in with his work and that is non negotiable ( on his part not mine)
DD is 13 and has been having a terrible time at school with bullying including cyber. I have been in constant touch with the school and pastoral care team.Three weeks ago she admitted to self h&arming and we hav been to the GP and are waitng for a referral to CAHMS?
She wants to move next term will be Yr9 to a School 20 miles away. TH council do provide transport at a cost of £25 a week or public transport involving two buses would be £18 a week.
I explained that much as I would love to move her, we already live on a very tight budget ( I work full time) and moving to the town of the new school would mean my job was no longer vialble.
So she asked her Dad for help, opened up about everything and his answer was " Tell your Mother that if she wants money to think of a better excuse!"
She now wants nothing to do with him and I am one glass of wine away from ringing him or his wife to ask how they would feel if in ten years time their Daughter needed something.
Sorry far too long just needed to have a huge vent.

He's beyond the parent pale.

Hugs to your dd, have you involved the police as telling someone to kill themselves is a serious offence.

You sound lovely.

They would Seabright and I think this is how we will have to deal with it but none of us are well off and it will mean sacrifices on all fronts. His family have other Grandchildren too, who need help. Not help as such but a little etra here or there which if given to my dd would not be available eg trips, scouts uniform etc ..

thebody the police have been told but as it was al on something called ask.fm where you can be anon it makes it difficult.... not impossible you notice!
I am just so cross with myself for not only letting my precious baby get hurt so badly but having her with such a fucking arsehole bastard cuntface. Sorry I needed that .

Wonder how he is living with himself, really.

Sounds like his family are your best bet. Good luck.

Given what you've said, I really would ask the family for help if they're reliable.

Your ex is not reliable and I'd worry more about him actually agreeing to this and then leaving you up shit creek, once your DD has moved schools.

I am going to ask his Mum and Dad tomorrow,it will be by phone sadly. They live 4 hours away. I know they will say yes and this thread was only meant for me to scream into the ether. He is an arse and always will be but by his family helping dd his nephews will have to miss out on other things. It is not right.

Just wanted to add my support Peppa. Before I was on MN I naively thought that, because of the CSA people couldn't get away with not paying manitenance. Obviously that is not the case....how disgusting. How can his current partner stand by and watch him do this? It beggars belief! I really hope your Dd gets the help she needs and that her move goes smoothly. My lovely young cousin was horribly bullied and a move changed things completely for her.

I think I still would send that letter to his wife. Just to shame him/her.

Update,
the ex in laws came through! She will start after Easter at the new School.
fingers crossed this is the start of a better time for her.

What a horrible pathetic excuse for a human. I can't bring myself to say "man" because a real man wouldn't treat his own daughter like that!

I am so glad to read that Peppa, I know that it will involve sacrifice for the ex pil to do this but clearly they can see that this isn't you asking for help with funding a club or sport but rather something that has the possibility of not only turning your dd's life around but also saving it. They can clearly see this, take their help in the spirit that it was given and put all your focus in making your dd's new start work and continue to support her through the self harm. Best of luck.

I am so glad your DD is able to move schools.
Sadly my daughter was also cyber and verbally bullied. We moved schools and it has worked wonderfully. She now has a great group of friends and I pray the same for your daughter.

As for your ex? He will get hit by the karma bus. There are no words to describe his hideous behaviour.

So thankful your inlaws are going to help out.

I really hope the school is a wonderful new start for your DD.

Is there any hardship funding you can access in the new school? My DC get 10% of clothing and a grant to buy books, pens etc. Also will you qualify for free school meals from the council?

And I am so relieved to hear she will move schools. I had a self harmer and moving schools was the Best thing.

and is dd old enough now to make her own decisions about contact.

DD is legally old enough to make her own contact decisions at 14 I believe. Does she want to continue contact with her father?