About DH not eating his veggies?

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Whenever we have a meal which is your traditional potato, veg and meat (well, meat substitute, we're vegetarian), DH starts with the 'meat', moves onto the potato, then is mysteriously 'too full' to eat the veg. This is true to form - whenever he goes away for work, I don't think any vegetable other than a baked bean passes his lips, certainly no fruit, and he even has an amazing knack of eating around the veg in a stir fry.

This was all fine and dandy until we had DS. He's only 9 months now, but I'm very concerned that when we hit the 'eat your vegetables' battles in toddlerhood and beyond, all he's going to do is look at his scurvy-ridden father's plate for validation.

If I try to have gentle words with DH to this effect, and suggest things like maybe eating the veg first to get them out of the way before moving on to the bits he finds more palatable, and get used to eating this way sooner rather than later, he gets shitty, says he hates being picked on about his eating and that he'll just say to DS 'do as I say, not as I do'.

I do not think this will wash. AIBU or is DH?

Let me get this right, your DH is a vegetarian that avoids vegetables?

How does that work then?

Has he always been a vegetarian? Or is he a secret carnivore?

Does he know he's a vegetarian?

Your DH is a grown man, he doesn't have to eat his vegetables if he doesn't want to.

However, it is a waste of food if he doesn't eat them, and I hate food waste.

I think maybe you should let him cook and see what he comes up with?

Tell me about it...it's amazing how he achieves it. Bizarrely, he'll eat tofu before he'll eat tomato Let's just say I'm really, really good at hiding veg.

You did mean to write 'DH' and not 'DC', didn't you?

In which case, he's a grown man, leave the issue alone.

Was vegetarianism his lifestyle choice before he met you?

Buzzard - we'd end up with toast, Weetabix, omelettes or Dominoes. He's allergic to cooking.

Whilst my OH is not a vegetarian I feel the same argh. I have to make him eat veg and make sure I make hin some. If its up to hin he wouldn't eat it at all.

In his defence its his mun im pissed off with for not cooking vegetables and so he has got used to it.

You can't make him eat his fruit/vegetables but I don't blame you for finding him infantile for avoiding them.

Holly - no, but I never, ever tried to convert him. I happily cooked separately for us until he saw Gordon Ramsay slaughter a turkey, then he decided he was never touching meat again, and he hasn't.

Needles - totally agree that if it was just about him I'd leave it alone. But will DS just follow his example and leave me with a major battle with no support?

YABU. How would you feel if he was trying to make you eat food you don't like? He's a grown man. Butt out.

As for your son, it isn't obligatory to have "eat your veggies" battles with your children, you know? I don't have any food battles at all. They are never made to eat any food at all they don't like. (Of course, it does require that you don't allow much in the way of unhealthy snacks.)

I hear you soontobe. The in-laws are probably deaf to my years of pointed comments about his hideous diet.

My DH was a vegetarian who ate no vegetables for 10 years. He survived on pasta, mushrooms and cheese and wondered why he always had a cold. He's a bit better now but still not great. Meanwhile I eat my veg but have no time for fruit.

But - it made no difference to the DCs. I don't think your "Dad's not eating his carrots so why should I?" theory actually holds water - mine are reasonably good with vegetables (apart from the one who takes food-fussiness to dizzying new heights, but I can't blame DH for that).

Dear God leave him alone

You're not his Mother and I doubt he'll thank you for acting like you are.

You are however your DC's Mother, so if you want your child to eat veg, just get on with feeding it to them.

He does know he is increasing his risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes and cancer does he??

please don't put out food that won't get eaten. That is food waste, and that's disgusting.

don't make an issue of it and your kid probably won't even notice.

I have four dcs and a hubby that does not 'do green things'. He will eat potatoes and mashed swede and carrot, that's it. The dc (youngest now 16) just take the piss out of dh. Oh, and two dc are veggie!
Don't worry about it.

He's being unreasonable. There must be some veg he actually likes. What about fruit?

It is setting a bad example.

My DP eats appallingly no fruit little veg. My DD 2.5yrs also eats poorly, incredibly fussy and very little fruit and veg.

Anyway upshot is both DP and DD have to take fybogel / lactulose respectively to sort their bowls out! Not good at all.

It's been a mammoth task to get both to change which is happening slowly. I would try to nip it in the bud. Healthy eating habits are important for the whole family. It will only get worse when your child becomes a toddler.

wow, looks like you have 2 toddlers.

Especially as he is vegetarian, he has to be careful about what he eats to get a balanced diet. DH also has to realise how important it is for his DS development to have a balanced diet and he has to pass these skills by example onto his DS. As a father, he has to step up to the mark for the sake of his son.
If DH won't eat veg, then you have to treat him like he is a toddler too. So If I were you, I'd incorporating veg in a way it couldn't be picked out! so I'd be making bolognese with carrot grated so small he couldn't pick it out, vegetarian cottage pie with minced quorn and grated veg, puree veg soups, etc ...you get the theme, anything that forces him to eat veg. If he refuses to eat a balanced diet, then unfortunately for the sake of your son you need to re-educate DH palate!

Ah...that's encouraging Dawn! So I may gain an ally rather than an adversary then. I shall resume shaking my head inwardly at DH's bizarre eating habits.

And don't worry - I'm very adept at hiding so very little gets wasted especially since I'll usually scoff whatever's left on his plate

My dh had to have vitamin injections due to the shit diet his mother gave him ad a child. Ask dh if that's what he wants for your dc.

*as